They Tore Down Paradise and Put up a Parking Lot …

No more plaques, no more statues, no more teachers’ dirty looks …

The profs in question will be shoving their disconnected looks the Habs ‘ way instead.

For a franchise whose image lies somewhere between Jeffrey Dahlmer and Mario Tremblay, the announcement of the team tearing down Centennial Plaza in lieu of a condo project is suspect. Sketchy …

Not only are ‘ the corporate Habs ‘ ripping up a celestial cemetery, the accountants are subtracting the hearts of the many fans who aided in the construction of the plaza – brick by brick …

According to Molson – the bricks, bought by fans with personalized messages to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the
team’s final Cup win … ( digress shall we ), will unequivocally be placed in storage until further notice.

Was there a disclaimer involved in the sales receipt when the partisans parted with their pennies to purchase pieces of the plaza? A note stating the bits of nostalgia written from the souls of people from Gaspe to Chilliwack can be moved by the Club de Hockey Canadien …?

If yes – cool!

If the response is no, nada – ‘watcha talkin’ bout Willis?’ – then, in the words of the disco band Shirley and Co.; ‘Shame, shame, shame – shame on you! ‘

Well – watcha goin’ to do?!

The Canadiens used to be the hockey equivalent of ‘ Hey Jude ‘ , ‘Stairway to Heaven‘ or ‘ Satisfaction’. Publicly anyways.
In the days of the typewriter, before the internet made porn a cause for divorce – all the seedy and suspect business or hockey decisions were kept in secrecy.

Guys like Red Fisher were the sole bearers of bad Habs’ moves. More times than not – the news was kept behind closed penalty box doors. If guys like Mr. Fisher wanted access to the team, anything out of the ordinary was kept out of the ordinary press if Fisher wanted to keep his privaleges privileged.

Times have changed. Soooo much!

Loyalty,tradition and honor has been jettisoned from the ship of society so often, the ship sails on filled with greed as the captain and inconsiderate as the first mate.

The majority of the men whose numbers hang from the targets of so much love and adoration at Le Centre Bell, skated a different ice surface. A mirrored canvas, a reflection of a different time. They painted historic statistics with paint brushes filled with the true colors of red, white and blue.

Not the dollar store purchased acrylic colors which the modern – day team has utilized far too often in the past ten years.

The University of Montreal Hockey, the glory and the tradition of the franchise appears to have closed.

School’s out. Forever …

Red Fisher’s Top Ten Reasons for Leaving

As most are aware …image

Red Fisher hung up his ‘writing skates’. Mr.Fisher began writing on hockey in 1900, his first story? Guy Lafleur’s great Grandfather’s first goal.

Fisher wrote; ” Damien Lafleur dried out several Indians before finally lifting the cowpuck past an unsuspecting Moose”.

With those words a legacy commenced until the 2012 season.

Here are the top ten reasons Red Fisher decided to quit his post as hockey ‘s greatest sportswriter…

10. Too many Russian names – not enough backspace keys …

9. ‘ If Gauthier speaks to you, and only you’ – it is time to leave!

8. After fifty years, is it too much to ask for the key to the executive washroom?

7. With the addition of Bergevin, Dudley, Mellanby, Brisebois, Lapointe, Lefebvre, Jodoin and Gallant … no way to get quotes since THEY ARE ALL ROOKIES!

6. Really, really wanted Roy to coach!

5. ‘One sec dear …’ Not working with the wife anymore …

4. ‘State of the art glasses’ discontinued by manufacturer.

3. First couple of years bearable but really, the captain of the Canadiens should not have to stand on a box when giving an interview.

2. Hearing aid too strong for Bell Center music …

And the number one reason Red Fisher retired …?

1. Really ‘boring’ since the Kostitsyns left!

Good luck Mr. Fisher – you will be missed!

Rating the Sportscasters in Montreal – Part Two ; The Scribes

Pick up the paper and there they are ! 

They help to start the day or annoy your spouse as he / she prepares an omelette of love . There is no room for opinions and onions at the breakfast table after all …

They scribble . They Jot . They erase and they do not !

These are the men that give their opinions in print – like it or go to a porn site to read about your favourite sporting heroes … Trust me – they are there !

The Montreal Gazette

Mr. Red Fisher

When Fisher started covering sports for a Montreal paper ; men were men , women in Russia were men and everyone else played their roles so. In many ways – Mr. Fisher , the grandfather of hockey sports writers , remains in those days.

His brain maintains the utmost integrity when it comes to how the game is played and Red will not sway . At the ripe age of two hundred and seventy – Mr. Fisher , is the best hockey writer in Montreal and quite possibly – North America.

Like my late Grandfather – Red can be repetitive.Just like my late Grandfather – sometimes it is good to know the dog is a freakin’ nuisance ten times a week. My grandfather and Mr. Fisher keep us grounded by means of hounds and gimmicks.

Mr. Fisher ‘ s first story was covering the Rocket Richard riot. Since riots happen often  in this city – Red is either very bad luck or we are lucky to have him … Take your pick !

Thank you Red – for every sports fan in this city and thank you for not shaking my hand when we met ! The highest compliment …

Pat Hickey

Hickey is one of the few men in this city or anywhere – that dated a Russian woman who was a man ! Hickey covered women’s tennis before the players were pretty in everyone else’s eyes but Pats .

Hickey has been boring …er …. treating us with his writings in the Gazette and the now – defunct Montreal Star since 1965. Okay – boring us once in a while … Pat requires a rest from sports as he has done once in the past when he was deputy national editor at the Toronto Star. An intelligent man needs to soar and now his writing comes across as stagnant and lifeless. Go to Toronto Pat … come back to Montreal with passion and leave Brian Burke behind !

Mr. Hickey also tends to prove his age at times. He infuriated Theo Fleury with his out – dated comments about victims of abuse !

Mike ( no relation to Pat ) Boone

Why ? Why ? Why ?

Never mind who , what and where … why did the Gazette hire Boone to cover hockey and the Habs ?

Two dinosaurs are enough on staff are they not ? Boone was scribing for the paper as a columnist and a great reviewer of entertainment and city life until 2011. He  was then added to the sports pages. Mr. Boone has also been writing on the popular Hockey Inside  / Out web site since 2008.

Unfortunately for the sports fans in this city – Gilligan and Nick Auf der Maur have passed away . We are now stuck with Mr. Boone until a rerun of Gilligan’s Island or a return visit from Auf der Maur ‘s daughter Melissa and her music … Stick to what you know best Mr. Boone !

*Note to self – Comment on how much I like Boone on Inside / Out .

Jack Todd

Jeffrey Loria and David Samson , Jeffrey Loria and David Samson ,Jeffrey Loria and David Samson , Jeffrey Loria and David Samson …

Jack Todd tends to milk things . In the words of Robert DeNiro  – ” Just a little bit … “

The enemy of the state , the righter of all wrongs – Todd is an American Werewolf in Montreal  !

Mr. Todd was hired  to rile people and he does his job well. Most readers despise the guy and would rather see him deported to the country from which he dodged . Personally – I tend to agree with Mr. Todd a lot . Which scares me …

I have always maintained respect for the man until I wrote an article about his Tim Thomas comments . I sent him a copy of my story ( I do not like to put someone down behind their back )  and asked for his opinion to clear things up . I simply inquired  what the difference was between him standing up for his beliefs of the Vietnam War and Thomas’ disenchantment of his government …

Todd had always responded to me in the past and has not since I sent him the story .

Once a coward – always a coward …

*Note to self – check prices of bodyguards …


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