The Hab – Nots Strike Again !

Another season , another … ?

Where to Steve Begin …

In a season that commenced amid coach Therrien wandering the backyard on a supposed short leash, Les Canadiens de Montréal once again proved; more is less ( more or less ). 

Goalie Carey Price ‘s absence last season gave the kindly old coach ( thanks Red Fisher ) a ‘get out of jail free’ card. A last minute pardon from the warden of the ‘most likely to celebrate the past ‘ franchise. General Manager Bergevin – seemingly Therrien’s only friend in a bunker void of ammunition. 

Out of the gate , it was business as usual in Habsville. The team and Price grabbed the league lead quicker than an Oleg Petrov spinerama. What happened next is a familiar story in Montreal. A chain of events repetitive by nature with it’s origins rooted deep within the confines of Jacques Lemaire’s soul. Jacques Lemaire; the man who stole the Canadiens’ heart. 

Ever since Jumpin’ Jacques ( the coach) decided to designate Guy Lafleur ( the player ) as a Selke nominee  – the Canadiens have ditched their ‘flying Frenchmen’ label for a cozier stay-at-home defensive slipper. Long after Lemaire ditched a forthcoming media- induced  ulcer and parted ways with his former team, Lemaire’s legacy haunts the Habs as the ghosts of The Forum enjoy popcorn down the street. 

Sure there have been offensive moments that were non – offensive yet aside from Lafleur getting arrested and Mario Tremblay staring down Patrick Roy; excitement has been held to a minimum as the torch stays rigid and unlit save for the pomp and ceremony ( aka trying to set five year old kids on fire). 

Ironically, the recipient of ‘ the best defensive forward’ four times running – Guy Carbonneau; the only coach in recent Canadiens’ history to have the team scoring more often than Mickey Mantle on a road trip. The Selke Trophy winner’s reward? The ‘filler’ for a missing player at the Habs’ annual golf match. The Chevy Chase to Rodney Dangerfield aka Therrien. 

Someone in Habs management is obviously not sharing the good drugs

Bob Gainey, Guy Carbonneau, Mario Tremblay, Guy Cournoyer, Steve Shutt, Serge Savard ( recently) , J.J. Daigneault, Kirk Muller and Ken Dryden. Just a few of the cogs in past championship Canadiens’ teams brought in to ‘save the franchise ‘. Reflecting the marketing brilliance of all the pregame ceremonies intent on selling merchandise, tickets and ‘ the #1 brand’ in hockey . 

If one Stanley Cup banner could replace one box of left over Centennial mugs in the basement of Le Centre Bell – the arena would need to be enlarged. 

Forget the past even though the fans cannot. Pretend for a second – the Habs are a new team intent on winning a championship. 

To build a winner , certain requirements are … er … required

Let’s start at the top. The GM

Marc Bergevin is a new General Manager. His resume includes ‘ stay at home defenceman’ with a ‘good sense of humor ‘. It also includes ‘ director of hockey operations or something like that with The Chicago Blackhawks. Assuming that title included more responsibilities than getting Patrick Kane out of jail , Bergevin ( a Quebecer ) is fit for the job of the Habs GM because he speaks French. 

So far , the new franchise is looking good. 

Second on the list are the coaches. 

Head coach Claude Julien. 

Julien is a former Stanley Cup winning coach with The Boston Bruins. Clod is also a coach who was fired from the New Jersey Devil organization moments before the playoffs started even though his team had a winning record. Julien is also a former coach of The Habs. 

Claude Julien is fit for the job of the Habs’ coach because he speaks French. 

So far ? The franchise looks amazing !

Assistant coaches 

Jean – Jacques Daigneault is the new franchise’s defensive coach. His qualifications include being a member of the last Canadiens’ team to win a Stanley Cup. His winning attitude and defensive savvy poignant for a future Championship in Montreal. 

J. J. Daigneault is fit to be a coach because he speaks French

The franchise is looking like a sure bet to be a contender. 

Kirk ( is work ) Muller

The handsome Muller was a fan favorite in Montreal as a player as he helped lead the squad to a banner in 1993. A two way forward from Kingston, Ontario – Muller is an anglophone chosen to deflect criticism from former coach Therrien. 

Muller is unfit to be a coach because he does not speak French. The new franchise just took three steps back.

The Players 

Every hockey team outside of a graveyard requires living breathing entities to defend , score and set plays on a frozen surface called ice

Our new franchise , the Habs – have these type of people ..


Carey Price aka The Franchise 

A goaltender must have nerves of steel and blood like knives. An unflinching type fellow not bothered by criticism, groupies, drugs, alcohol, pucks and game day sex.  The sort of guy who does not let goals against ruin his Big Mac at the drive -thru. Price fits the bill during the regular season. 

The playoffs are a different beast. A goaltender who leads teams to championships must steal games and / or series. Step up his focus and performance to ban vulcanized rubber from his twine. Playoffs are tighter than Chuck Berry’s wallet and often one goal is the difference between success and suicidal tendancies. 

Price is unfit to be goalie for the franchise because he does not speak French. 

The new franchise just took an additional  three steps back …

Stay tuned for part two

Visit Rick Keene Music Scene Here !





The Habs – Same Old Song and Dance … Sorta …

Your Montreal Canadiens are off to yet another fine October start. What could possibly go wrong ?

Therrien_GETTY-2 copy

Last season, the Stanley Cup parade was being planned before Nov. 15th. Why not? Carey Price was Carey Price. Nothing else mattered to the powers that be. Relying on a goalie to win championships – par for the course in Montreal. Par for the course in Caddyshack perhaps ?

Then, as quick as a P.K. Subban is to lights;  the wheels, the frame, the engine, the hood – even the MP3 player fell off the Holy Grail vehicle. No one could have predicted such a disaster when Price fell to injury. Then again – no one could have predicted ‘The Donald’ would be closer to the Presidency of The United States than an poor person to a whorehouse. Hey – crazy stuff happens …


If last season taught the management of The Montreal Canadiens one thing, no one knows what it is. That said, last year’s nosedive into Brian Fogarty territory made Bob Dylan’s lyrics eerily prophetic.

Well now what’s the use in dreaming?
You got better things to do
Dreams never did work for me anyway
Even when they did come true

Yup. Fans could sense it, management could sense it and the ghost of Eddy Palchak was singing ‘ I Feel A Change Coming On ‘ throughout the Bell Center ( aka $20.00  Hot Dog Land).


If and when Habs management were able to pry Subban away from his day job as a car salesman, a narrative must have taken place.

Bergevin; ‘ You know we are paying you very top dollar to grow, learn and live up to your potential right?

Subban; ‘ Just a second please. My agent is on the phone …

Bergevin; ‘ We are paying you so tell your agent you will call him back. ‘

Subban; ( Hanging up the Phone) Ok. Where were we …?

Bergevin; ‘ P.K. . we need you to step up your game and lead this team as a … (Subban’s phone rings)

Subban; ‘Sorrry guys, it’s my tailor, I really need to tak …

Bergevin; ‘ Ya ..ya … It’s ok. Go do your important stuff.

 ‘The Brand’ was dismissed. 


Not dismissed as in ‘ see you later alligator’, more like ‘ in a while crocodile’. Once the decision was made to trade ‘The Brand’  –  any tears from the Habs organization, crocodile by nature.

There is a lot of talk about Subban not fitting the scheme of the ‘old boys club’. Lots of lip about his teammates not liking him. Banter about racism playing a part in trading the team’s number one fan favorite. Blah, blah, blah …

Seldom – if at all, does anyone lay the blame right on Subban. 

Let’s put the situation into a different arena, no puck intended. If Subban was a hot lawyer on the way up. Or – perhaps, one of the best cabinet-makers on the planet. A company was so pleased to have ‘the scholar’ and signed him to a big salary just to keep him from signing with B.A.D. Wood down the road. The cabinet making company knew they were overpaying him for his lack of experience. They knew the potential and thought ( as crazy as it seems) he would repay their kindness by doing everything in his power to learn and realize his own potential. Good deal right? On Paper …?



The young cabinet maker scoffed at the boss. He scoffed at his elders and he scoffed at the business. Realizing he was young and prone to errors in judgment – the company gave him a couple of years to ‘mature’. The payback? The young apprentice utilized all his energy to focus on making money outside the business. So much so – he was not welcome any longer. His chances had run out.

Hockey is a business and the Habs’ investment was not gaining interest in the proper places. For once – making money was replaced by making a hockey team once more. Subban out. Weber in.

Hockey, as priority one,  has returned to Montreal in 2016 -17.

So far …


What Shea Weber brings to a Montreal squad is stability. Dependence. Accountability. Talent.

A guy who marches to his own drum within a marching band. Not on the sidelines with an eye to defection. A tool inside a box made for doing a job right. No breakage, no loose parts – just an old fashioned cog brought in to repair a broken down dream.


Lars ( I have not been the same since they knocked my block off) Eller was dismissed for dismissing his job on the ice more often than a Kardashian sighting. Enter Alexander ( I used to drink Vodka) Radulov – a finesse player whose baby toe ( and liver)  is tougher than Eller. An experiment that could go wrong yet – what is worse than last season?

Enter Andrew Shaw from Chicago. A player who has the mean streak of a Robert DeNiro dissing Trump combined with Bill Clinton’s art of scoring. Add his ‘Hilary’ experience ‘lifting a Cup’ and voila – the Habs’ heart grew ten times this year …

So did their focus with the absence of  

‘ the brand ‘…


Your Montreal Canadiens are off to an 8-0-1 start. Leading the league in points and goals against. The news is good but not new.

Somewhere – the Lord and The Devil are playing chess. The news is good but not new.

As for P.K. – he’s just doing his best …











Build a Champion – One Thing. Keeping Them There Entirely Different …

Marc Bergevin has reintroduced success to the Montreal Canadiens.

The trick is to sustain the formula.

Through the years, when the Montreal Canadiens were not just the cream of the crop, but the blueprint of ‘how to win a Stanley Cup’, there was one factor involved which tends to be overlooked.

The squad – for so many years, had high caliber, all star and hall of fame players. That is one part of the equation. Was this the reason that so many banners hang above visiting players at Le Centre Bell? Sure as cows give milk it is. Yet these facts, these players were part of a plan carried out so successfully by the men who preceded M.Bergevin.

That plan. The design of the second most successful sports franchise in history was to make damn sure that each rookie, each newcomer – had one or several mentors to instill wisdom and a winning attitude. A passing of the ‘tenacity’ torch if you will. An ignition of integrity to jump start the careers of so many players. Some of whom that may have skated into obscurity with another organization.

Consistency of a championship constitution. Consistency of a carnivorous ‘ win at all cost’ mentality.

For reasons, some tangible and some – downright ridiculous, Les Canadiens de Montreal jettisoned that ‘yacht’ in lieu of a ‘leaky boat’ some years ago. It is now up to Bergevin and what appears to be an excellent surrounding cast of coaches, to maintain a core of character on the team and ensure the mentality of Gionta, Markov, Prust and Gorges is passed on.

Men who teach boys. Warriors of a winning breed. Experience.

Without a plan, without a dimension to bridge a gap innocent in it’s nature, a team flounders like a fish out of ‘ frozen water’. A group becomes lost and either sinks to depths beyond reasonable conversation or toils in mediocrity for years.

Applause is reserved for Bergevin, Geoff Molson and probably the most important name in the turnaround of The Montreal Canadiens – Serge Savard. A standing ovation warranted.

Question is …

Will there be an encore?

We Are Not In Montreal Anymore Toto …

It’s a strange feeling.


For the past ‘what seems like ever’ – the city of Montreal has not had very many grey areas when it comes to Le Club de Hockey Canadien. Or – as they have become know; the eHabs …. ( as in commerce ).

In the media, in the streets, in the pubs and in living rooms all across the world, it has either been ranting over the fact they are good or ( more times than the latter) very, very bad …

Suddenly, it is calm in Montreal. No one really knows what to do. No one really understands this club that takes to la glace these days. They (the team) are looking for an identity. The fans are looking also. What team do they cheer for? Who are these guys that take our money?

Is it the team which appeared almost too easily to beat the New Jersey Devils? A squad which is first in the Eastern Conference. Or – is it the silly bunch of skaters who appeared like deer in the headlights when those noted champions – The Toronto Maple Leafs arrived at Le Centre Bell for what turned into a game of shinny …?


Marc Bergevin don’t know. Michel Therrien don’t know. The dude who waved hello to Eddy Palchak for sixteen years every morning on his way to work don’t know. They are a team which seem sound. For now …

Something will happen.

What? A betting man who loves the underdog won’t bet on the team winning a Stanley Cup nor will the same man’s hooker girlfriend allow him to bet the other way. An implosion is due. An explosion imminent.

Will the eHabs skate out against The Mighty Bruins and spank the Bostonian’s monkeys with goals and fists? Perhaps the destruction will take place as Michel ( aka Rodney Dangerfield) Therrien loses control of his ‘I have a second chance demeanor’ and tosses P.K Subban into the penalty box with his non – ringed hands. Any hockey man knows a Therrien meltdown is coming. It’s a matter of time.


Will it be just as the eHabs discover themselves on the crease of victory or will it be just before Tomas Kaberle flings a four million dollar water bottle at Madame Therrien’s son’s French Canadian head? Pressing questions for serious Montreal hockey questions.

The eHabs will find out who they are. The fans will find out as well. Therrien?

Guy Carbonneau can let him in on things once the eHabs stop playing hockey in 2013.

With or without a Stanley Cup ring blocking  his ears …


The Habs; Same Old Song and Dance …

Everyone remembers Rodney Dangerfield?

That bombastic comedian who utilized all of his off-color remarks to their utmost potential. Gaining him a spot not just in Hollywood – in the comedic recesses of the comedy fan’s mind …

Well – he’s back!ffff

After all, have you ever seen Montreal Canadien coach Michel Therrien and Mr. Dangerfield together? Of course not. They are – one in the same …

Michel Therrien is ‘ Back to School‘. A return behind the bench with hockey’s most storied franchise ( unless you live in San Jose – the stories they have …).  Therrien is back and  pretty is not the proper description …

Saturday night, the first game of a season shortened by a lock -out which presumably made the rich richer and the hot-dog stand employees search for work –  a great sign of things to come. Status quo should be the numbers on the back of the bleu,blanc et rouge. La plus ça change – la plus c’est la meme esti colis de … never mind.

If the league gave championships for championship ceremonies, the Habs would win every year as they did when the league provided a silver cup along with French Canadians to this French Canadian team. Once again, the marketing boys proved behind the bench is the place for them . If the on – ice performances and the coaching staff could offer spine – tingling moments like Jean Beliveau holding a torch at the house that Corey built, banner makers in this city would be living on the beach four months a year. Instead, the assemblers of banners past, reside in dingy apartments in Park Extension. Holding material in their hands like a bride would hold her dress following a ditching at the altar.

The home team, Les Canadiens – amid pomp (ous?) and ceremony, played the game as if it were they – the visitors. Opposing teams, in the day of the Rocket, Lafleur and even Naslund, would arrive in this city with their respective two points already deposited in the Canadiens’ bank account on Atwater. A trip to Montreal for a visiting team was not about hockey. It was about the strip joints and the bars. Opposing players took the opportunity to play off – ice since the on-ice battle –  completed (and lost) once they stepped on the plane in their home town.


Presumably, with a new slogan for this shortened hockey season, Habs’ management are attempting to get the ghosts to move from their cozy movie seats at the Forum. Unfortunately, the ghosts enjoy Tarantino’s flick much more than Therrien / Dangerfield’s  ‘Easy Money‘. Ironic? You betcha.  Because the current players begin a season ‘haunted’  with easy money in the forefront of everyone’s mind.

Easy money because the Habs roster –  filled with guys who will collect their paychecks amid Therrien’s antics. Shenanigans which will lead to more and more bizarre decisions on the part of the new / old coach. Decisions which will enable the players to skate around in a fog like last year. A fact which is none of Therrien’s fault.  He is the French patsy. A ‘how to you say goat in french’?

He is the French coach required to place a revolt in submission. Therrien’s face upon his introduction Saturday night –  a perfect imitation of Mario Tremblay circa la beginning of the ‘run the franchise into the ground’ era. Aka – the money years. Aka – WTF? Damphousse among the legends in the ceremonial ‘wake the ghosts’ ceremony?

Whether or not newly named General Manager Bergevin will see the errors of the team’s ways and avoid the old system as best he can – remains to be seen.

If he can bring a more modern approach to a team which has believed that the defensive style of 1968 is the way to go, the Canadiens will have a chance to compete.   Yet, at the same time,  if he ‘kills all the golfers’ – there will be no one around to play hockey.

Yup – he’s back! Now we know for certain – why tigers eat their young!

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Team Canada Shoots Itself against the U.S.A

The Canadian Junior hockey team had a relative easy time advancing to the semi-final game against their cross-continent rivals.

Too easy.


The Americans played six games in eight days to gain entry into a game against their arch rivals.. Team Canada, on the other glove,  had a couple of days off. It showed …

The South of the Border boys came out as if they were entering the fourth period against their Quarterfinal foes – the Czechs.  In that game, the Americans outscored Czechoslovakia 7 -0. They were on a roll and that momentum suited up for the first period against the Canadian squad. It was – that obvious …

When a team has a lay-off, in any league from Pee -Wee to Uncle Billy’s Beer Bonanza on Sunday night, they come out flatter than a  girl before puberty. Early Thursday morning, Team Canada was that girl and the Americans were the aggressive older boy. Led by the Montreal Canadiens‘ first round pick – Alex Galchenyuk, the red-white and blew (as in blew up their own citizens) skaters used every move in the book to bypass any defense the pre – teen first period Canadians could muster. The Americans were loose and the Canadians tighter than a wagon filled with Amish virgins ..

End of the first period – Team McCabe 2 Team Subban 0. No low five photos for the Subban clan here folks.

La Deuxieme

It takes two minutes to boil an egg. Apparently, it takes just under three minutes to crack the psyche of a country built on Maple Syrup, Beavers and Hockey supremacy.

Just when it looked like the Northern NHL wannabes had shaken their Russian cobwebs, Team USA‘s Goudreau took advantage of a bad Canadian change and roofed a wrist shot over the shoulder of the Canadian Nation net-minder Subban. If Team Canada was a hot air balloon, the Americans were a heated dart with exemplary precision.

aIf Grandma’s breasts sagged, then Canada’s logo must have been attached as the once perky companions of Grandpa hit the ground – hard. With almost forty minutes left to play, it was not time for Canada to panic. This type of game along with a somewhat deep hole score-wise is dangerous in Junior hockey. Much more than in NHL hockey. These are kids playing on the national stage, not seasoned veterans akin to million dollar contracts and euphorically-priced escorts. Wobble  – and Canada falls down like a Weeble gone bad …

What was that …?

Just past the ten minute mark, it happened. A career Canadian Couch potato’s worse nightmare. Scarier than a Don Cherry dream. Team USA scored again.

Four score and seven minutes left in the second; USA 4 – Team Canada 0. Goalie Subban chased  to the bench regardless of Lincoln’s affinity for the denizens of African descent. Canadian coach Hitchcock, no choice but to yank his net protector like a rotten tooth. A move needed to give his squad a boost, his  goalie a figurehead with a goat’s hide …

La Troisieme

In the words of Elvis Presley: “It’s now or never …”

The only way to go for Canada was up … not away. Away they went …

With almost identical numbers on the scoreboard as Team USA’s third goal in period two, Canada took a too-many-men on the ice penalty. Things seemed bad and they just seemed badder. Then as quick as a Salamander scurries under a rock, hope appeared via the Three Stooges. Okay – one Stooge …

Canadian forward Rattie’s shot from the slot evaded American net-minder Gibson’s shoulder and discovered the crossbar quicker than a Salamand … (never mind). The puck careened to the left of the goal and  Rattie picked up his own rebound and deposited the puck into the net quicker than a teenager cashes a paycheck on a Friday night. Problem? The referee blowed the whistle. He also blowed the call …

Wait a sec …

The referee received advice from the video goal judge or his angry wife. Either way, the disallowed goal was allowed for whatever reason. The goal should not have counted as the referee blew his whistle. Why he blew his whistle is another matter entirely. Suddenly it was 4-1. Canada was back in it …

Then – they were out once more …

Gaudreau netted his tournament leading seventh goal late in the period and Team USA stretched their advantage once again to four. It was the worse defeat for Canada at the hands of the Americans. Team Canada will play for the Bronze medal while the U. S  will play either Sweden or Russia for the Gold on Saturday night …

This win for the Americans was too easy.


What are the Montreal Canadiens Up To …?

As you feed the baby, turn on your computer or drink a big glass of glucose to rid the effects of a late night glass of straight up Whiskey – you may be wondering what your Montreal Canadiens are up to …


Some of the players are playing hockey in various markets around the globe. Some – like Lars Eller of ‘four goal a game’ fame, are embarking on trips to exotic locations around the world. In Eller’s case – Finland the destination to parlay his skills to good use.

The Koivu family has been kind enough to rent Lars a room while he is there. A nice gesture considering the Habs treated their prodigal son with the amount of respect normally associated with a discarded can of two day old tuna.


Other players such as P.K Subban – lost in a hockey wasteland as the young defenseman searches for not only a contract, a place to hone his pubescent skills.

Rumour has it, no-one wants Subban to join in their ‘reindeer games’. In the words of captain Gionta; ” We only play with him cause we have to during the regular season. To quote Ray Liotta ‘s character in the movie Field of Dreams when he was talking about Ty Cobb wanting to play …’ none of us could stand the son-of-a-bitch when we were playing for the Habs,  so we told him to stick it!”


Carey Price – on the other hand is enjoying his time away from the ‘red, white and blue’ glare of the vicious French media. The young netminder is spending time with his fiancee as the two waste endless hours concoting new designs for his goalie masks. As teammate Josh Gorges once quipped; “Carey makes more money from auctioning off his masks than a member of Mayor Tremblay’s staff does on a construction deal …”


Newly crowned G.M Bergevin is anxious to get going. He wants the season to start so he can decide if Gomez will be part of the team or an usher at Chris Nilan’s new movie. “Either way – Scott won’t be witnessing very many goals ..” Says noted media guy Dave Stubbs.

The rest of the players are either practicing or playing in different leagues. The exception? Andrei Markov.

The Canadiens’ best restguard is sidelined once again. Apparently he hurt his ribs laughing so hard when he was told Dominic Hasek was going to make a comeback …


Oh well, another day – another million dollars for the locked-out Habs!



When the puck drops …

When the players and the owners manage to get their collective waste together, I will be back …


Don’t Worry …


Bernie Nicholls’ Day with the Cup





Courtesy of Bernie Nichols

P.K and the Habs


Scott Hartnell; His View

Straight from a Minnesota hockey camp with a bunch of kids from Philadelphia, Scott gives a player’s view of the CBA agreement, his career and Jagr …


Last season, the Flyers’ forward donated one thousand dollars to his foundation every time he fell down. The thirty year old Hartnell fell 200 times – that is a lot of money to a bunch of underprivaleged kids.

Hartnell is in his 11th season in the league and he attributes his best year last season to two factors; conditioning and teammates.

“Nutrition, fitness and playing with Giroux and Jagr. There is no question they are the three factors which led to my great season. I was a little upset Jagr is not coming back. It was really good playing with him. He brought so much experience to me and Claude, it was a real privilege to skate with him. ”

As far as conditioning, Hartnell maintains there is no choice for the players. There are a lot of eighteen year old kids waiting to take his job and guys like him must stay in shape.

“Getting lucky and having great linemates doesn’t hurt though!” He laughs.

In shape is what the Flyers have to be according to Hartnell as he discusses the loss of Jagr, Pronger and the almost Flyer – Shea Weber.

“We have lost a few guys to injury on defence to start this season coming up and obviously it is disappointing not to see Weber come. Especially when he was so close. The guys will have to step it up but we have a great organization in Philly. We have to regroup.”

The Flyers may be strong yet there may not be a season if the owners and players cannot arrive at an agreement. Hartnell  remains optimistic…

“It was frustrating to receive the last offer of 46 percent revenue sharing from the owners. There are a lot of teams making money and our proposal ensures it goes to everyone. I’m sure the owners will see that. We will probably have to wait a few weeks for an answer but we ( the players ) are hopeful.”

If there is a lockout, this would be Bettman’s third work stoppage. Something that will not look good for the commissioner’s legacy. Another thirty or so  games lost, that would be almost two full seasons gone under Bettman’s watch …

“Gary is a smart man and he works for the owners. I don’t know what his legacy will be but you can’t blame him for trying to get the best deal possible. It is his job.” Says Scott.

During the previous lockout in 2005, the Regina,Saskatchewan native played in Norway. He enjoyed his time there yet says  there is nothing like playing in the NHL.

“It was a great life experience playing over there but in North America, you have so much love from the fans. They come out to see the goals, the hits, the fights – everything. Add that to the rivalries like us and Pittsburgh. There is nothing like it.”

Pretty solid stuff coming from a guy who  was voted number one on a list of best ‘beer guys’ in Philadelphia.

According to Scott – he pales next to Claude Giroux …

‘Off the record’ of course!


Scott and Lisa Hartnell

Breaking News! Habs acquire goal scorer from the Kings!


What is the Sequel to Dumb and Dumber? Rich and Richer …

Will there be a NHL season in 2012-13?

This is the question on people’s minds these days as the NHLPA and the owners of NHL franchises slug it out.


Or more accurately, why does the question of a lock – out come into play? Can’t the two sides sit down, grab a coffee at Smoke Meat Pete and come to an agreement without the players sitting at home watching old Don Cherry rock em’ sock em’ videos …


If two people decide to divorce, really – they do not kill the kids. Ok -sometimes they do. That is neither here nor on the front pages of the sports pages.

The kids – in this case are the fans. The people who shell out Maurice Richard’s once weekly pay cheque in order to purchase tickets to a game. The ‘ partisans’ – the’ punters’; the salt of the earth …

If two folks, parents or parties cannot get along on primitive terms, as mature entities – they must come to an agreement where the innocent do not suffer. After all, a kid’s sole crime is giving love,laughter and smiles. Once in a while, a little shit is thrown the parents way, it is part of the deal.

In the case of the NHL ( THE NATIONAL HOARDER LEAGUE ), the fans also give love, laughter, smiles and occasionally throw crap the league’s way. The difference between the child and a fan?

The league brings in on itself and the fans pay to he involved.

If most sane parents can come to admirable terms in a split ( a difference of opinions for the sake of the children ) – why can’t grown men who are up to their elbows in money, work things out and ensure their kids are sitting down and watching good entertainment on a Saturday night …?

One word; Greed …

Don’t Worry … Be Happy!


Pacioretty a Hab for Seven Years – Why?

Max Pacioretty is well liked in Montreal.

Presumably, Max Pacioretty is well liked by his Mom also. That does not mean she wants him to move in for six years …


The Habs inked ‘Patches’ to a six year extension yesterday. Added to his one year deal – Max will be a Canadien for the next seven seasons.

Good or bad?

Pacioretty had a career high season last year following a disastrous time the year before. Give the American credit for not only coming back from a concussion and broken vertebrate – kudos for coming back with no fear.

Following a life and career threatening injury, many times an athlete is never the same. A perfect example is former Pittsburgh Penguin Kevin Stevens.


Stevens was a goal scoring machine until a fateful day in May – 1993. Skating to get the puck in the corner, Stevens’ face collided with Islander Rich Pilon’s visor. Stevens was knocked out on impact and he fell to the ice face first.

One hundred stitches were required to sew back the skin in his face following hours of reconstructive surgery.

Kevin’s stints in Boston, L.A, New York, St.Louis, Philadelphia and Pittsburgh were never able to revitalize a career snakebitten by fear. Stevens was also arrested in a hotel room with a prostitute and crack cocaine.

Luckily for Hab fans – the closest Pacioretty came to such shenanigans, was being on the same team as Andrei Kostitsyn.

Pacioretty has not proven anything. One good season following an injury such as his could be a fluke. Max had to dig deep  to prove to the Habs and himself that he deserved a chance. Anger also was key as Max was infuriated at having his season cut short by the Bruins’ captain. Pacioretty missed the playoffs and watched a Bruin team win the Stanley Cup.

A Cup that may not have been won if Pacioretty was in the lineup in the Habs -Bruins first round match-up.


The Habs should obtain the power forward and not let him skate to whiter pastures. A reward for his tenacity is a no – brainer, especially on a team with Bergevin as G.M. Few skaters were as tenacious as Bergevin the player.

Six years is too much however. Three years is ample time to reward and see if Patches is indeed the real deal.

Heck, three years is two and a half years longer than his Mom would probably allow him in his old bedroom.

And she loves him …?

Top Ten Sticking Points in P.K Subban’s Contract Negotiations

P.K and the Habs …

Two entities further apart than Mick Jagger and Justin Bieber …

Why the delay? What’s going on dudes?

Here are the top ten problems with P.K Subban’s negotiations;

10. Bergevin won’t budge on his ‘ no money for diving’ policy.

9. Mrs. Subban, cannot – under no circumstances, go behind the bench and massage P.K ( practices or not ) !

8. IHOP not sure if pancakes can be delivered to Canada.

7. Number four not available – Bobby Orr or not!

6. Subban lied about what P.K represents. ‘Pearly Kate’ not as attractive to the paying public.

5. Bob Gainey should not have promised to pay Subban 7.5 million – at all!

4. Hooters girls from South Shore must pay their own way home!

3. P.K ‘s little toy truck not allowed on dressing room floor, regardless if it calms Pacioretty down …

2. Absolutely no Mickey Mouse Ears on the back of the Jersey!

And the number one sticking point in P.K’s contract negotiations?

1. A low high five with Carey Price is not worth ten million a year!

Usain Bolt


How do you describe wow?


How do you describe two wows divided by two and multiplied by ten more? It ain’t easy – unless of course your name happens to rhyme with jolt.

A surprise shove and / or shock is what the sporting world witnesses every time a 6’5″ Jamaican by the name of Bolt displays his unholy power. It’s no surprise the runner wins. It is not a shock the world record holder in the 100m dash teaches victory with relative ease. His shock value in this world is simple – the man is a giant amongst giant athletes and drugs remain at their diminutive level …

A hero is what Usain Bolt is.

In his mind, he is a legend and that is okay. The world does not mind. The world requires Bolt and seemingly Bolt requires us. Think about it. Who was the last man to conquer the imagination of sports without using drugs to cloud that judgement.

The great and most decorated Olympian of all time, Michael Phelps – his image tarnished by marijuana. Bolt comes from a country where marijuana is celebrated. Rightly so. For Bolt to be scandalized, he would have to be caught eating a slice of Apple pie. That is the difference in the two cultures. That is the difference between hypocrisy and fun …

America is filled with cheaters in every sport.

Cycling has Armstrong. Baseball bears Bonds. Football has … well, everyone. Jamaicans just run with smiles on their faces. Making everyone smile in the process. Remember the Jamaican bobsled team? They did not win yet their legacy remains …

They made everyone smile and continue to do so.

Russian, Czech, Chinese, Canadian and every athlete from every country should take a seat and chill-out with some ganja and Carey Price. That way, instead of every four years, the world can say wow every day.

Wow multiplied by ten!


The Problem with Doan …

Shane Doan is homeless …

The forty year old lifetime member of the Pheonix / Winnipeg franchise, is doing his best to put his skates in a comfortable place.

New York, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh and Montreal are just a few of the stops the Alberta native has made in the past few weeks as he tries to continue his career outside of Phoenix.

Those are just the Eastern cities the father of four has visited.

Fans in San Jose can put aside any dreams of seeing the former captain of team Canada in brilliant Teal this winter. The Sharks are not willing to part with 4.5 million a year, Doan’s apparent asking price. His former squad, the Coyotes, are willing to give their last season’s captain 4 million a season for three years.

There lies the problem …

Doan is a leader with experience. Doan is a battler. Shane Doan does not score forty goals a year.

At his age, a salary of 3 million should be the maximum a team should part with to obtain his services ( that is 2.5 for his association with God and .5 for everything else).

In Habland – Doan is a perfect fit for the way the team is being constructed. Once the P.K Subban issue has been settled, Bergevin will know what monies are  available to sign Doan.

P.K should get 3.5 million for two years and Doan 3 million over the same period. Four year and over contracts are for the Crosbys of the world.

In two seasons, the Habs will either be on top or the bottom. Enough time to see how the new editions are gelling. Doan can teach the Gallaghers and Desharnais while Markov will do the same with the P.Ks and Emelins.

Veterans teaching the rookies, something which has been lost in recent years in Montreal. Doan, despite his loyalty to Phoenix – should jump at the chance to play in a hockey market such as Montreal and enjoy the challenge of teaching some pretty good up and coming talent.

He would also fit in with guys like Gionta and Cole. Players who come from the same ‘ win at all cost ‘ school as him. The same generation.

It is better than being homeless, especially in Montreal.



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