Team Canada Shoots Itself against the U.S.A

The Canadian Junior hockey team had a relative easy time advancing to the semi-final game against their cross-continent rivals.

Too easy.


The Americans played six games in eight days to gain entry into a game against their arch rivals.. Team Canada, on the other glove,  had a couple of days off. It showed …

The South of the Border boys came out as if they were entering the fourth period against their Quarterfinal foes – the Czechs.  In that game, the Americans outscored Czechoslovakia 7 -0. They were on a roll and that momentum suited up for the first period against the Canadian squad. It was – that obvious …

When a team has a lay-off, in any league from Pee -Wee to Uncle Billy’s Beer Bonanza on Sunday night, they come out flatter than a  girl before puberty. Early Thursday morning, Team Canada was that girl and the Americans were the aggressive older boy. Led by the Montreal Canadiens‘ first round pick – Alex Galchenyuk, the red-white and blew (as in blew up their own citizens) skaters used every move in the book to bypass any defense the pre – teen first period Canadians could muster. The Americans were loose and the Canadians tighter than a wagon filled with Amish virgins ..

End of the first period – Team McCabe 2 Team Subban 0. No low five photos for the Subban clan here folks.

La Deuxieme

It takes two minutes to boil an egg. Apparently, it takes just under three minutes to crack the psyche of a country built on Maple Syrup, Beavers and Hockey supremacy.

Just when it looked like the Northern NHL wannabes had shaken their Russian cobwebs, Team USA‘s Goudreau took advantage of a bad Canadian change and roofed a wrist shot over the shoulder of the Canadian Nation net-minder Subban. If Team Canada was a hot air balloon, the Americans were a heated dart with exemplary precision.

aIf Grandma’s breasts sagged, then Canada’s logo must have been attached as the once perky companions of Grandpa hit the ground – hard. With almost forty minutes left to play, it was not time for Canada to panic. This type of game along with a somewhat deep hole score-wise is dangerous in Junior hockey. Much more than in NHL hockey. These are kids playing on the national stage, not seasoned veterans akin to million dollar contracts and euphorically-priced escorts. Wobble  – and Canada falls down like a Weeble gone bad …

What was that …?

Just past the ten minute mark, it happened. A career Canadian Couch potato’s worse nightmare. Scarier than a Don Cherry dream. Team USA scored again.

Four score and seven minutes left in the second; USA 4 – Team Canada 0. Goalie Subban chased  to the bench regardless of Lincoln’s affinity for the denizens of African descent. Canadian coach Hitchcock, no choice but to yank his net protector like a rotten tooth. A move needed to give his squad a boost, his  goalie a figurehead with a goat’s hide …

La Troisieme

In the words of Elvis Presley: “It’s now or never …”

The only way to go for Canada was up … not away. Away they went …

With almost identical numbers on the scoreboard as Team USA’s third goal in period two, Canada took a too-many-men on the ice penalty. Things seemed bad and they just seemed badder. Then as quick as a Salamander scurries under a rock, hope appeared via the Three Stooges. Okay – one Stooge …

Canadian forward Rattie’s shot from the slot evaded American net-minder Gibson’s shoulder and discovered the crossbar quicker than a Salamand … (never mind). The puck careened to the left of the goal and  Rattie picked up his own rebound and deposited the puck into the net quicker than a teenager cashes a paycheck on a Friday night. Problem? The referee blowed the whistle. He also blowed the call …

Wait a sec …

The referee received advice from the video goal judge or his angry wife. Either way, the disallowed goal was allowed for whatever reason. The goal should not have counted as the referee blew his whistle. Why he blew his whistle is another matter entirely. Suddenly it was 4-1. Canada was back in it …

Then – they were out once more …

Gaudreau netted his tournament leading seventh goal late in the period and Team USA stretched their advantage once again to four. It was the worse defeat for Canada at the hands of the Americans. Team Canada will play for the Bronze medal while the U. S  will play either Sweden or Russia for the Gold on Saturday night …

This win for the Americans was too easy.


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