What are the Montreal Canadiens Up To …?


As you feed the baby, turn on your computer or drink a big glass of glucose to rid the effects of a late night glass of straight up Whiskey – you may be wondering what your Montreal Canadiens are up to …

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Some of the players are playing hockey in various markets around the globe. Some – like Lars Eller of ‘four goal a game’ fame, are embarking on trips to exotic locations around the world. In Eller’s case – Finland the destination to parlay his skills to good use.

The Koivu family has been kind enough to rent Lars a room while he is there. A nice gesture considering the Habs treated their prodigal son with the amount of respect normally associated with a discarded can of two day old tuna.

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Other players such as P.K Subban – lost in a hockey wasteland as the young defenseman searches for not only a contract, a place to hone his pubescent skills.

Rumour has it, no-one wants Subban to join in their ‘reindeer games’. In the words of captain Gionta; ” We only play with him cause we have to during the regular season. To quote Ray Liotta ‘s character in the movie Field of Dreams when he was talking about Ty Cobb wanting to play …’ none of us could stand the son-of-a-bitch when we were playing for the Habs,  so we told him to stick it!”

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Carey Price – on the other hand is enjoying his time away from the ‘red, white and blue’ glare of the vicious French media. The young netminder is spending time with his fiancee as the two waste endless hours concoting new designs for his goalie masks. As teammate Josh Gorges once quipped; “Carey makes more money from auctioning off his masks than a member of Mayor Tremblay’s staff does on a construction deal …”

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Newly crowned G.M Bergevin is anxious to get going. He wants the season to start so he can decide if Gomez will be part of the team or an usher at Chris Nilan’s new movie. “Either way – Scott won’t be witnessing very many goals ..” Says noted media guy Dave Stubbs.

The rest of the players are either practicing or playing in different leagues. The exception? Andrei Markov.

The Canadiens’ best restguard is sidelined once again. Apparently he hurt his ribs laughing so hard when he was told Dominic Hasek was going to make a comeback …

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Oh well, another day – another million dollars for the locked-out Habs!

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