Coyote Pretty …

Want to impress a girl in Montreal?

Pick her up and take her to dinner. Gas plus a decent meal? $50.00 minimum.

Want to really impress her? Take her to a Habs game before the second week of the season while the team is still in the playoff hunt.

Ticket prices? $200.00 for a pair of Not-so-prime. Minimum…

Thirsty? Beer?

$10.00 each and depending on the weight of your date … $100.00 to have a chance of switching sports and hitting second base later in the evening.

Wait … ! Food is good to demonstrate you are up on nutrition. How’s about a nice salad for her pretty palate? That’s another $8.00 and $16.00 if you don’t want to steal from her.

So. How is the debit card holding up? Need to mortgage your mansion by now?

The total is $116.00 and the players, don’t forget, appear like tiny mice from atop the CN Tower. This price does not include parking, programs, souvenirs and tips. Add the minimum to the $116.00 – an additional $350.00 to fornicate is not bad. After all, a high priced hooker kills an hour of your time. A hockey game, sixty minutes dragged into a three hour affair.

Condoms? The best deal of the night. Free from an ugly friend or two dollars from an ugly depanneur clerk. Away you go …

Another $10.00 in gas for the ride home. Total = $612.00

The solution?

A playoff ticket in Phoenix is $59.00 U.S. Your date in Arizona will pay the rest.

You are Canadian …

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