The Montreal Canadiens’ Top Ten Excuses for a Dismal Season

What is happening with the Habs?

Why have they made everyone cry? What is their problem?

Who is responsible for the mess and what will be done to diminish the despair drowning the denizens of downtown Montreal?

Time will tell if the third pick of the 2012 draft in June will be the savior to this sorry franchise. Months will dictate if a quick turnaround is possible or a long, drawn- out process is required to de – capsize the sinking ship.

Les jokers … er … Jouers de les Canadiens de Montreal, cleaned out their lockers and are preparing to say ‘adieu’ for a few months.

Some – gone for good from Gainey’s former good ship.

Here now are the Top Ten Excuses explaining why the team had a dismal season; according to some of the team’s personnel…

10. The skate sharpening machine does not take 100 dollar bills.

9. According to P.K Subban; things would have been much different if he was ‘Spanish’.

8. Pierre Gauthier refused to speak English to coach Cunneyworth causing all sorts of communication problems.

7. Scott Gomez had a difficult time downloading George Laraque’s book to his IPhone. The result? Really … Do you need to ask?

6. The curse of Youppi!

5. Markov’s disappearance after Christmas? A distraction as the players had IPads on the bench and in their own words; “Spent way too much time Googling Canada 411!”

4. According to a source close to the team; Peter Budaj, upset with his limited ice- time, made it ‘difficult’ for Carey Price to watch the Country Music Awards. A sad cowboy is an unproductive goalie – so the song goes …

3. The kids holding the Habs’ flags at the player’s entrance? Kept trying to trip everyone!

2. ‘ Ever try playing hockey with all this crap going on? ‘

And the number one excuse for a terrible season?

1. PERRY PEARN was not around to give hugs …

And the Cup that will kill the Rangers’ chances of winning … ? Voila!


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