• Archives

  • Advertisements

Where are they now? Part Four

They were loved.

They took that love and tossed it aside like the butt of a Gitane brand cigarette.

Where are they now?

Here – in this final segment of Le Forum de Montreal’s investigative report,are the remaining players and coaches that were once part of les Canadiens de Montreal.

The Players
Carey Price

Price’s cowboy ways paid off quickly. Along with ex- Flyer goalie Ilya Bryzgalov, the duo were signed on to star in the sequel to Brokeback Mountain.Two weeks into filming – Price stomped off the set in a fit of rage.Said Price when prompted for a sound bite …? ” I could handle the caressing and even the kissing.When Ilya started to tell me that my eyes reminded him of a sunset on Mars – I’m sorry , that crossed the line! That guy is just plain nuts ….” Price’s lawyers offered no comment as to his immediate future.

Yannick Weber

Weber was lost. He moved in with Mark Streit for a while yet that turned sour when Weber ate all of former Hab Streit’s Toblerone.Luckily for Yannick, he encountered a homeless man by the name of Milbury. The pair nursed one another back to emotional health when Milbury suddenlytraded Weber for an old sock and some cheese. The trade may effect the alleys of Montreal for many, many years to come.

Peter Budaj

‘Sneaky Pete ‘ Budaj was tired of being a back – up goaltender. He moved to India and became the only goalie in the Pakistan Central League. Following a fifty – two game schedule in which he appeared as the starter for both teams in every game – Peter was rushed to the hospital to treat dehydration and depression. The Doctor ‘ s advice to Budaj? ” Sometimes it is not good to wish for certain things …”

Petteri Nokelainen

The Finnish player turned to fellow country man Jari Kurri for advice following his abrupt departure from the Habs. Some may say bad luck yet Petteri’s fall into the underbelly of the Finnish mob was startling!Aside from his duties of collecting money from ex – Oiler Essa Tikanen – Nokelainen is the go- to guy for an Abba cover band.

Management and Coaching Staff
Randy Cunneyworth

Cunneyworth was relieved to be out of the pressure cooker known as the Bell Center.Because of his marine – like looks, Randy signed on with the Canadian Military. In a surprising turn of events which left the optimistic Cunneyworth at a loss for words – Randy was shipped to France and was placed as an arbitrator between the non – Francophone soldiers and the country’s denizens. His time behind the bench in Montreal made him a perfect candidate according to Stephen Harper.

Larry Carriere and Randy Ladouceur

Who cares …?

Pierre Gauthier

The ghost fled an uprising in Montreal and barely escaped with his life. Gauthier was working as a cattle farmer in Poland yet was also run out of town forcattempting to trade a cow for a duck – straight up! Reports have him living in Mexico at Graham James recently vacated apartment.

Bob Gainey

Gainey was not as lucky as his counterpart. The savage crowd took Mr.Gainey to a room in the basement of Le Centre Bell, taped his mouth and tied him to an unsold seat from the old Montreal Forum. Gainey was forced to watch each and every Scott Gomez shift as a Montreal Canadien. Insiders say that Gainey died a slow and painful death.

As usual – Habs Eye on the Prize , the Hockey Writers and Knuckles will shed some light on all things pucked – up !


Leave a comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: