Where are they now ? Part Three

It took a while yet Le Forum de Montreal discovered some , not all –  of the players that once toiled for the Montreal Canadiens – a long,long, time ago …

The Players

Andrei Markov

The snake-bitten Russian ‘ s misfortunes continued once his skating career with Montreal was finalized. Andrei attempted a comeback in the KHL yet that attempt was foiled by an errant Kovalev slapshot that hit Markov in the same knee that was operated on. Another operation ruined his chances of ever skating again and Markov is spending his days and nights drinking vodka with Bobby Orr and watching re-runs of the 72 Summit Series



Erik Cole

Luckily for Mr. Cole – he planned for his exodus from professional hockey. Saving for many seasons – Cole quickly started his new business venture , a drag queen bar and review. Among some of the ex-NHLers sporting pink boas and matching footwear ? Sean Avery, Wendel Clarke and Tie Domi. Avery is the headliner while Domi and Clarke play second bananas to the main act. Life does imitate art -a fact that is not lost on the cross- dressing Cole.



Chris Campoli

Chris was not as lucky as Mr. Cole. After a disastrous foray into the field of acupuncture , Campoli ‘ s second attempt at business failed as well. Apparently , the Tsunami in Japan dampened the native’s zest for water skiing and ‘ Campoli’s Water Adventure and Theme Park  ‘ failed miserably. Those close to Campoli say he is doing well selling water – wings printed with the Habs logo in Omaha, Nebraska.



Josh Gorges

Devastated as the captaincy of the Canadiens slipped away – Josh sadly turned to the bottle.No intervention by his family or friends seems possible . Anytime someone approaches him , he screams ” Don’t you know who I am …? I’m the captain of the Montreal Canadiens …!” Josh can be seen outside of the bars on Bishop St. – panhandling for money. The only good thing ? ” Gorges keeps his Canadiens’ sweater dry-cleaned ” Says a source close to the family.

Tomas Kaberle

Tomas tried very hard to hook on with other teams and continue his hockey career. Try-outs in Canada, the United States, Russia, Finland, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Poland, Germany, Japan, China, South Africa, Mexico and even his native land – Czechoslovakia all ended with the same statement ; ‘ You’ re a loser ! Get outta here …!’ Luckily for Kaberle , the Toronto Maple Leafs signed him to a fifteen year contract …

Mathieu Darche

Due to the Canadian flag tattoo on his right buttock – Darche was rejected by the Part Quebecois, thwarting his plans to help Desharnais ‘ rid the Province of the stupid English PigDogs’. Not one to give up easily , Mathieu is working as a sales clerk at the Hudson Bay Company. Says Darche ; ” I am pretty sure this company was created by English people – I’ll get to the bottom of this …!” Not surprisingly – Darche’s alumni status at McGill University has been vetoed.

Stay tuned ladies, gentlemen and Milan Lucic – the rest of the players and coaching staff will be hunted down !

In the meantime – the Hockey Writers, Habs Eye on the Prize and Knuckles will fill you with all things hockey !

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