Top Ten P.K Subban Trades

As the crucial point of the season commences – there is all kinds of trade talk.

The Montreal Canadiens are smack in the middle of these ‘exchanges’ as they cling to a shot at the playoffs. Will the team rid themselves of players such as Gill,Moen and Kostitsyn? In dismissing these types of players,the Habs could build a quality group of youth for the future.

Then again, Pierre Gauthier is at the helm so a used puck back is closer to the truth.

The reality of the Canadiens situation is they are caught in a tough position.Gone are the Smurf experimental days. Speed is part of their menu yet ‘ steak’ has replaced ‘chicken fingers’ as the team has realized that toughness is a more savory ingredient towards success.

The team requires more Erik Coles. Rene Bourque is the new Shayne Corson and if the Habs could accumulate more of these players – The Boston Bruins will be even more fearful of their division rivals than what they currently are.

There are rumors spinning around faster than a hamster in a wheel
concerning P.K Subban. He is not coachable, he is not liked by his teammates and he is too self – centered.Most G.M ‘s in the league will say straight out the Canadien rearguard’s name is never on the table when the trading cards are dealt.Most G.M’s publicly would say that
Mike Milbury did a good job. So – who knows what is up?

If the Habs decide or have decided to shop P.K around- it is not a bad
choice as long as the deal MAKES SENSE …

Here now are the ONLY top ten trades that Gauthier could make for P.K without being tied and shackled to the back of a Habs fan’s smart car.

10. To Vancouver for Kevin Bieska and Alexandre Burrows

9. To Calgary for Jerome Iginla , Ollie Jokinen and Jay Bowmeester.

8. To Edmonton for Thomas Eberle and Ryan Nugent – Hopkins

7. To Pittsburgh for Malkin

6. To LA for Anze Kopitar and Drew Doughty

5. To Chicago for Duncan Keith and Viktor Stalberg

4. To San Jose for Dan Boyle and Ryan Clowe

3. To Detroit for Franzen and Conklin

2. To Minnesota for Koivu and Clutterbuck

And the number one trade …?

1. To Montreal for P.K Subban


The Thomas – Crown Affair aka The Jack Todd Incident

Thomas - In the middle ?

Boston Bruin net minder Tim Thomas chose to use his freedom of speech to veto a visit to the White House. Kudos to the goalie for placing his pads in front of all the political snapshots.After all, it is difficult enough to thwart policies that are forthright. Republicans and Democrats’ shots are deflected more times than a Kaberle point shot through traffic.

Thomas’ decision does beg a question. Could he have stood up in his crease in any other way? Could Tim have sealed the five – hole in a fashion that would not have offended his teammates? In opting for a no – show at the house that George Washington built, Thomas thumbed his blocker at every cent of his millions in the bank.

Like or dislike the way that America is run all the way to the Bank. Burn the American flag and toss your Mike Modano bobble head doll into the red,white and blue garbage can in your garage. As a citizen in the Excited States – it is part of the constitution that allows you to do so. In doing all of the above, an American ( transplanted or not ), must remember one thing;it is because you live in such a place that you are able to earn a great living.In Tim Thomas’ case – a fantastic living at that.

The entire situation opens more cans of worms than in a Foghorn Leghorn sketch. If Thomas were not rich and famous and decided to skip the White House ceremony, no one save for his dearest friend and relatives would have given an Uncle Sam’s rat’s ass. At the same token – if the subject had come up if Thomas were not part of a Stanley Cup winning team , eyebrows may have gone up yet closed just as quick after a few lines in the local papers.Should politics and sport be mixed in the same glass or should they rest apart like Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin?

Tim Thomas knew his viewpoint long before the topic became fodder for CNN, Fox and the gals on The View. Nobody said that ( aside from Ken Dryden and Ilya Bryzgalov) goalies were smart. Hockey is a team game and the Boston Bruins were invited as a team to celebrate their team win.Thomas’ decision placed him beyond what a group of individuals fought for and won.Say for instance that Tim despised Maxime Lapierre of the Vancouver Canucks more than
everyone else on his team.Pretend it is game seven of the finals and Thomas’squad is locked at one goal heading into overtime.Suddenly, the Bruin goalie decides he is going to hack Lapierre’s head into the not -so -cheap seats.Thomas gets a penalty, Lapierre goes to the hospital and Vancouver wins the Stanley Cup with a power play goal.Would Tim ‘s selfish decision be applauded even though Lapierre is as disgusting as American Governmental policies?

Personal beliefs,statements or habits are for individual sports such as tennis or masturbation.

If you get caught- the shame or pride rests solely on the individual and Kleenex is used accordingly.


Speaking of wankers …

Jack Todd lives, eats and earns a respectful living in Canada.Jack Todd was born in the United States.Jack Todd ran from his country to avoid the war.Jack Todd is what they call a draft dodger.

The Gazette sports columnist and novelist fled his country to speak his mind against government policies.Tim Thomas did the same.The only difference is Mr.Todd eats poutines on a regular basis while Thomas must wait for a game against the Habs.

In his column on Monday,January 3o- Todd calls Thomas’decision ‘ as classy as a swamp rat’. Todd cites his case because Thomas snubbed President Obama. In the words of comedian Steve Martin ;” Exxxxxxccccccuuuuuusssseeeee me?”

Is the kettle suddenly black? Is George W Bush literate? Is Milan Lucic a candidate for the Lady Bing Trophy?

Jack Todd in all his ‘Loria- ness’, has crossed the Mason – Dixon line and should be shot with silly putty before anyone sees the whites of his eyes.Todd disagreed with his President and the ideas of government.Instead of knocking on the White House door and inviting himself
in to discuss the matters – Mr.Todd hopped on the closest Molson beer wagon and ‘ beaver-tailed’ it to Canada. Granted , Thomas did not ask to sit down for dinner with Obama yet at the very least, did not flee the safe confines of Massachusetts.

Shame on Todd for calling out Thomas and shame on Todd for deploying a top ten list in his column.

Le Forum de Montreal has those rights – it is in the constitution of the United States of Les Canadiens de Montreal.

As usual – Habs Eye on the Prize , the Hockey Writers and Knuckles  will help you out !

What do Jeff White and Phil Collins Have in Common?

Jeff White is semi – retired and spending much of his time at his cottage in the Eastern townships with his wife Marilyn.Phil Collins is semi-retired and the ex-drummer from the rock group Genesis. He was also a solo music star and actor. Collins had a string of hits during the 1980’s – most notably ; In the Air Tonight.

What do this unlikely duo have in common?

The phrase ‘ Against All Odds ‘.

In 1984 , Collins was approached to pen a song for a movie that was titled; Against All Odds. Arguably the most popular solo artist at that time – Mr. Collins wrote that song which went on to win song of the year at the ensuing Grammy Awards in 1985.

Against All Odds ( take a look at me now) was one of the biggest hits for Collins and he probably had no idea that it could have been the theme song for  Mathieu Darche of the Montreal Canadiens. A hockey player that succeeded ‘against all odds’.

Where Does Jeff White Fit In?

Jeff coached both Mathieu Darche and his older brother J. P in St. Laurent although not in the same season or league. J. P was a defence man for White’s team in Junior BB  while Mathieu played center and captained the coach’s Bantam BB team – Les Challengers de St. Laurent. I recently sat down with Jeff and we discussed what type of player Mathieu was and whether or not the coach was surprised to see Mathieu suit up for the Montreal Canadiens.

” Mathieu was more skilled while his brother was like a bull in a china shop.” Says coach White. ” Both players were great team players and were the type of guys who would never rock the boat. If you asked them to do anything , their answer would be yes coach , sure coach – whatever you say coach !”

The 6′ 1 ” Mathieu was the leading scorer on White’s team and averaged two points a game. All of his teammates looked up to him and coach Jeff attributes his former players’ attitudes on their upbringing.

” Their father was a doctor as was his father before . The boys were raised in a very positive environment and that seasoning shone through in their personalities and their performance on the ice.” White continues. “They both gave 100 percent during a game and it was as if each shift was their final one…!”

White coached Mathieu for just one season although it could have been two. Instead , the Habs number fifty – two took a year off to ski and when he returned , a special friendship blocked the ( now) forty – eight year old White from coaching him again.

” His Dad offered him the choice to ski or play hockey .When Mathieu continued playing the game –  I was no longer coaching at the level he chose to play. It was nice to see him around again – without a broken leg ! ” Laughs White.

“I would have been his coach in AA yet Mathieu chose to play a lower level so he could be on the same team as his best friend and goaltender Jean Francois Crevier. ” According to White – Crevier and Darche continue to be friends to this day.

Two Bros – Two Careers

J. P. Darche was also a football player and he chose to go that route. The elder Darche played five seasons at McGill University in Montreal before entering the CFL in 1999 with the Toronto Argonauts . He then ventured South of the border into the NFL paying with with the Seattle Seahawks and the Kansas City Chiefs. J. P. was a long snapper and retired from professional sports in 2009 after missing most of the 2008 season with an injury.

Mathieu also played five seasons with McGill , on the ice rather than the football field. Following the Redmen hockey team , Mathieu commenced his professional career with the Columbus Blue Jackets before joining the Nashville Predators , San Jose Sharks and Tampa Bay Lightning . He landed ‘ home ‘ in Montreal and has skated for the Canadiens’ organization since the 2009 – 10 season. There were many pit stops along the way with various teams in the AHL and Mathieu played little if at all in the NHL. Since joining the Blue Jackets during the 2001 season, Darche played in only 26 NHl games until 2007. Through it all – Matheu never gave up.

His first chance to play came with the Lightning during the 2007 – 08 campaign. Darche , an undrafted player , skated in 73 games that year – netting 22 points and proving to many that he belonged in the NHL.

” Mathieu always knew the game well and had a nose for the net .” Adds coach White. ” His problem when I coached him and what continued to be his problem as he progressed was his skating ability. Mathieu really had to work hard at that aspect of his game and given his recent success – it appears as if all his hard work has finally paid off. Playing for the Canadiens is a dream for him . Most players would have given up by now yet if you know Mathieu – quitting is not part of his vocabulary.”

In 137 games in a Montreal uniform , Darche has scored nineteen goals and added twenty three assists.  He also possesses an admirable  plus / minus rating of + 7. Last season, Darche missed twenty games during the Canadiens’ most important stretch as they vied for a playoff birth.

” Mathieu was sorely missed during that part of the season. Not for his goals or points but his presence in the room and his responsible play on the ice. Along with Jeff Halpern – the pair did not allow too many goals”. Says White.

Has Mr. White contacted his former player since he has hit the ‘ big time’?

” I’ve thought about it … but I don’t think he has a lot of time right now. When his career is over , I will definitely give him a call …”.

A typical response from a good coach.

Whatever happened to J. P ?

” J. P. is studying to be a doctor at the University of Kansas… I have a few pains in my lower back. I may call him up .” Says the kindly old coach.


As usual – Habs Eye on the Prize , the Hockey Writers and Knuckles  will help you out !

Non – Wing Night / Roy vs. Lafleur

An educated person would have estimated perhaps 1.5 % of the people at the Wings – Habs game Wednesday night had ,at one point in time, experimented with LSD. At the end of the first period – twenty thousand plus spectators must have felt they were on the illicit drug and all that was missing was a purple elephant offering chips at a discounted price.Enough about me …

The Detroit Red Wings , the league’s top team, commenced the All Star break the same time as the rest of the league. The only team playing on Wednesday were the Canadiens. Fitting, since the Hab players ( save for Price), have been on break since mid – November.A combination of the Wings absence and a little bit of luck – torpedoed any chance of what most people thunk – a domination by the Babcock – led Wings.

Instead of Price skating to the bench and instructing Geoff Molson that he had played his last game as a Hab, it could have been Howard telling Mike Illitch that he had downed his final pan – pan pizza regardless if it was free.The Detroit net minder was bad yet his defense much worse in a period that saw the Sawchuk wannabe allow four goal on twelve shots. A dozen shots were what Mike Babcok insisted he was having at the end of the game. Twice in the month of January – the coaches’ team has been ridiculed by bottom tier teams. The lowly Islanders embarrassed the Wings 5 – 1 on the 5th. That defeat along with the 7- 2 massacre in Montreal would make anyone want to drink.

” Where…” Babcok must be wondering. “Is that purple elephant when you need him?”

Patrick – Guy , Guy – Patrick

As the Habs stumble, skate and stumble some more during this bizarre and disappointing season, it is interesting how two former hall of famers and former Habs have entirely different opinions on the Canadiens recipe for future success.

Guy Lafleur was a man who played the game by instinct. A trait that continues in his post hockey career. Anyone who has followed Guy over the years knows well the former superstar could never coach in the league. Everything he did , all of his good and bad was done with feeling. When he snuck into the arena in Thurso,Qc ( his boyhood home)to practice his skills, there was a good chance the possibility of arrest never crossed his mind.

Lafleur( in response to Roy), is adamant about the Canadiens NOT tanking the season thus assuring a top draft pick. Guy states that if the current inclination of his former club had pride – finishing out of the playoffs would be one of the seven words you do not say on hockey t.v. Roy , on the other glove, is saying the exact opposite.The former Conn Smythe winner says there is no point competing for a spot in Bettman’s dance. Roy cites an early departure from the post – season which invariably would bring a middle of the Pack pick in next season’s draft. So. Who is right?

Both men played the game with pride and prejudice. The pair’s drive for winning landed both of them on the pedestal and in trouble – on and off the ice. Roy is taking an analytical view while Guy is speaking on instinct and , in typical Guy fashion, from th heart.

Both are right and if a combination of the two paths could be ordered – an extra large pizza box would be required.

If the current team had heart, it is quite possible they would not be in this position to begin with. If the owners and Gauthier had analytical skills – the team would not be in this position to begin with. If Roy and Lafleur were running the team and could play nice in the sandbox, this team may win.Roy and Lafleur could not run this team because of the simple fact they are both passionate in what they do and fights between the two men would be common.

The team needs Roy and Lafleur’s attitude. They need someone who thinks like Roy upstairs and someone who thinks like Lafleur behind the bench.

Two ingredients.Two opinions.

One winner.

As usual – Habs Eye on the Prize , the Hockey Writers and Knuckles  will keep you informed.

Where are they now? Part Four

They were loved.

They took that love and tossed it aside like the butt of a Gitane brand cigarette.

Where are they now?

Here – in this final segment of Le Forum de Montreal’s investigative report,are the remaining players and coaches that were once part of les Canadiens de Montreal.

The Players
Carey Price

Price’s cowboy ways paid off quickly. Along with ex- Flyer goalie Ilya Bryzgalov, the duo were signed on to star in the sequel to Brokeback Mountain.Two weeks into filming – Price stomped off the set in a fit of rage.Said Price when prompted for a sound bite …? ” I could handle the caressing and even the kissing.When Ilya started to tell me that my eyes reminded him of a sunset on Mars – I’m sorry , that crossed the line! That guy is just plain nuts ….” Price’s lawyers offered no comment as to his immediate future.

Yannick Weber

Weber was lost. He moved in with Mark Streit for a while yet that turned sour when Weber ate all of former Hab Streit’s Toblerone.Luckily for Yannick, he encountered a homeless man by the name of Milbury. The pair nursed one another back to emotional health when Milbury suddenlytraded Weber for an old sock and some cheese. The trade may effect the alleys of Montreal for many, many years to come.

Peter Budaj

‘Sneaky Pete ‘ Budaj was tired of being a back – up goaltender. He moved to India and became the only goalie in the Pakistan Central League. Following a fifty – two game schedule in which he appeared as the starter for both teams in every game – Peter was rushed to the hospital to treat dehydration and depression. The Doctor ‘ s advice to Budaj? ” Sometimes it is not good to wish for certain things …”

Petteri Nokelainen

The Finnish player turned to fellow country man Jari Kurri for advice following his abrupt departure from the Habs. Some may say bad luck yet Petteri’s fall into the underbelly of the Finnish mob was startling!Aside from his duties of collecting money from ex – Oiler Essa Tikanen – Nokelainen is the go- to guy for an Abba cover band.

Management and Coaching Staff
Randy Cunneyworth

Cunneyworth was relieved to be out of the pressure cooker known as the Bell Center.Because of his marine – like looks, Randy signed on with the Canadian Military. In a surprising turn of events which left the optimistic Cunneyworth at a loss for words – Randy was shipped to France and was placed as an arbitrator between the non – Francophone soldiers and the country’s denizens. His time behind the bench in Montreal made him a perfect candidate according to Stephen Harper.

Larry Carriere and Randy Ladouceur

Who cares …?

Pierre Gauthier

The ghost fled an uprising in Montreal and barely escaped with his life. Gauthier was working as a cattle farmer in Poland yet was also run out of town forcattempting to trade a cow for a duck – straight up! Reports have him living in Mexico at Graham James recently vacated apartment.

Bob Gainey

Gainey was not as lucky as his counterpart. The savage crowd took Mr.Gainey to a room in the basement of Le Centre Bell, taped his mouth and tied him to an unsold seat from the old Montreal Forum. Gainey was forced to watch each and every Scott Gomez shift as a Montreal Canadien. Insiders say that Gainey died a slow and painful death.

As usual – Habs Eye on the Prize , the Hockey Writers and Knuckles will shed some light on all things pucked – up !


Where are they now ? Part Three

It took a while yet Le Forum de Montreal discovered some , not all –  of the players that once toiled for the Montreal Canadiens – a long,long, time ago …

The Players

Andrei Markov

The snake-bitten Russian ‘ s misfortunes continued once his skating career with Montreal was finalized. Andrei attempted a comeback in the KHL yet that attempt was foiled by an errant Kovalev slapshot that hit Markov in the same knee that was operated on. Another operation ruined his chances of ever skating again and Markov is spending his days and nights drinking vodka with Bobby Orr and watching re-runs of the 72 Summit Series



Erik Cole

Luckily for Mr. Cole – he planned for his exodus from professional hockey. Saving for many seasons – Cole quickly started his new business venture , a drag queen bar and review. Among some of the ex-NHLers sporting pink boas and matching footwear ? Sean Avery, Wendel Clarke and Tie Domi. Avery is the headliner while Domi and Clarke play second bananas to the main act. Life does imitate art -a fact that is not lost on the cross- dressing Cole.



Chris Campoli

Chris was not as lucky as Mr. Cole. After a disastrous foray into the field of acupuncture , Campoli ‘ s second attempt at business failed as well. Apparently , the Tsunami in Japan dampened the native’s zest for water skiing and ‘ Campoli’s Water Adventure and Theme Park  ‘ failed miserably. Those close to Campoli say he is doing well selling water – wings printed with the Habs logo in Omaha, Nebraska.



Josh Gorges

Devastated as the captaincy of the Canadiens slipped away – Josh sadly turned to the bottle.No intervention by his family or friends seems possible . Anytime someone approaches him , he screams ” Don’t you know who I am …? I’m the captain of the Montreal Canadiens …!” Josh can be seen outside of the bars on Bishop St. – panhandling for money. The only good thing ? ” Gorges keeps his Canadiens’ sweater dry-cleaned ” Says a source close to the family.

Tomas Kaberle

Tomas tried very hard to hook on with other teams and continue his hockey career. Try-outs in Canada, the United States, Russia, Finland, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Poland, Germany, Japan, China, South Africa, Mexico and even his native land – Czechoslovakia all ended with the same statement ; ‘ You’ re a loser ! Get outta here …!’ Luckily for Kaberle , the Toronto Maple Leafs signed him to a fifteen year contract …

Mathieu Darche

Due to the Canadian flag tattoo on his right buttock – Darche was rejected by the Part Quebecois, thwarting his plans to help Desharnais ‘ rid the Province of the stupid English PigDogs’. Not one to give up easily , Mathieu is working as a sales clerk at the Hudson Bay Company. Says Darche ; ” I am pretty sure this company was created by English people – I’ll get to the bottom of this …!” Not surprisingly – Darche’s alumni status at McGill University has been vetoed.

Stay tuned ladies, gentlemen and Milan Lucic – the rest of the players and coaching staff will be hunted down !

In the meantime – the Hockey Writers, Habs Eye on the Prize and Knuckles will fill you with all things hockey !

Where are they now ? Part Two

Once Le Forum de Montreal scoured the city – looking in seedy cafes and under various garbage cans , we soon discovered more of the players that once played for Les Canadiens de Montreal and stopped doing so for various reasons …

Here is what the players were up to once the game against the Washington Capitals commenced …

The Players

Rafael Diaz

Adjusting to his new role as the Spanish ambassador to the country of Switzerland – Diaz made his mark quickly. In the space of two weeks , Rafael thwarted a coup by the Streit family in Long Island and eased the Taco Bell restaurant chain into the Swiss Alps. His next project ? Discovering a way to keep hamburger meat thawed at – 20 temperatures.

Hal Gill

Upon returning to his native land of Massachusetts – Gill contemplated suicide before receiving a call from fellow tall man Kareem Abdul Jabbar. The former Laker recruited Gill in his quest to have a statue erected in his image. Things went well until Gill realized that Jabbar was of African – American descent. Said Gill through a press release ; ” I worked with a black guy for two seasons in Montreal … they tire you out …”

P.K Subban

Following a brief stint as vice -president of Haiti under the tutelage of Georges Laraque , P.K ‘s fortune took a turn for the better as he became a rapper South of the Border. He has had moderate success with songs such as ; ‘ Brad Marchand‘s Wife is a Ho !’, Ice Ice Baby and the romantic ballad ‘ Just Between Jacques Martin and Me ‘. A duet with Tony Bennet is planned for 2013 along with a subsequent tour.

Alexei Emelin

The Russian did no know what hit him. Armed with a limited command of English – Alexei became a bouncer at the famous Chez Paree strip club in downtown Montreal. Emelin gained headlines shortly thereafter for not allowing former player agent and ex-con Alan Eagleson  into the club. Eagleson’s .15 tip to gain entrance was not sufficient in Emelin’s view of things and a fight ensued. No charges were pressed.

Travis Moen

Moen had difficulty. Although acting was a passion of his – agents throughout North America considered him a high risk due to the loss of several of his teeth. After several despondent months , Travis caught on with a band of gypsies in Saskatchewan. The troupe is currently travelling in Asia and Moen is said to be happy as a star in the sideshow.Moen draws hundreds each day as ‘The Talking Hockey Player’. Visitors have ‘ never see anything like it and line – ups are long.

Tomas Plekanec

Plekky was devastated and spent the nights crying into his wife’s arms once his career came to an end. He stopped shaving his head and showering everyday. Eventually his wife left him and he has since been spotted walking through the United States with hair beyond his shoulders. When asked what he is doing …? Plekanec replied ; ” Hockey is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’ll get !”

Stay tuned ladies, gentlemen and Gary Bettman – the rest of the players, coaches and Pierre Gauthier will be found ….

Meanwhile – check out Habs Eye on the Prize , the Hockey Writers and Knuckles Nilan. They are hip, cool and know what they are talking about …

Where Are They Now ? Part One

Logo used (1917-19, 1921-22)

Image via Wikipedia

Le Forum de Montreal has decided to look up some of the hockey players that are not playing hockey for the Montreal Canadiens anymore. Just to see  what they are up to …?

These players were once embedded deep in out hearts and were an intricate part of our daily lives. Why forget about them after all that …?

Some have been hard to find while others – as easy as stopping a Rick Green snapshot ! This is who we have discovered so far …

The Players

Andrei Kostitsyn 
Andrei fell on hard times once he stopped skating for le bleu, blanc et rouge. Due to his monthly payments to the Russian mob – Andrei was forced to move in with his brother Sergei in Nashville. Following several fights related to his absolute disliking of country music – Andrei has been allocated to taking out the trash while he serves the remaining time in his house -arrest sentence. Unfortunatley for Andrei , his state-of-the-art toupee will have to wait due to financial reasons.
Lars Eller
Eller was able to grab a job at the local Tim Horton‘s due to his easy-going personality. The patrons that come and go at the drive through window – love hearing tales of his four-goal night. There are also rumors that Lars is making extra cash on the side selling t-shirts of his exploits as a Canadien. Eller ‘ s best customer is former Hab – Jaroslav Halak.
Scott Gomez
Scott did not have it easy once his playing career was over. He modeled hat ware for a while before landing a job in his native Alaska as a geography teacher for Sarah Palin. Word on the street is Palin gets a kick from rubbing Gomez’ head every morning for 
 ‘ good luck’ ! Mr. Gomez did get in a little trouble before he left the organization and was escorted out of the Bell Center for throwing pucks at Bob Gainey and yelling …” You ruined my career you defensive -minded snot …!” 
Brian Gionta
The little American eased into his new position as an adviser for Brendan Gallagher – the Habs’s hot prospect. Brian spent a good three months helping Brendan shop for items that will help Gallagher in his NHL career. Items such as Dr. Sholl’s five inch skate inserts and  a book written by Yvon Cournyoyer titled ‘ How to survive in a land of giants ‘. Gionta is said to be pleased with his new role …
Max Pacioretty
Max had a very hard time adjusting to his life after hockey. He spent the better part of five years ‘ soul-searching’ in Tibet. Befriended by a little-known monk by the name of Tokyo Joe – Pacioretty found new purpose in his life teaching Joe and the rest of the monks how to play hockey. Max’s ‘ team ‘ went on to win a championship in the National Buddhist League and Pacioretty was honored for introducing padding that wrapped around the religious stanchions. No word if the Molsons are planning a court case …
David Desharnais
David was quickly recruited for work once he stopped playing. The Parti Quebecoise signed on the tiny frenchman to police the language laws in the NHL. Some of Desharnais’ duties ; making sure Vincent Lecavalier watches two hours of L’Anti-chambre every night, verifying that Gary Bettman manufacturers the proper use of the accent aigu on official documents and giving french lessons to all the Montreal Canadiens’ coaches- past and present. David also has a new video in stores ; ‘ Vive les Canadiens Libre !’
Rene Bourque
Bourque’s career ended almost as quickly as it started with the Habs. A good -looking dude, Rene caught on very quick as a dancer at Club 281 . He slipped rather eloquently into his new role as Tarzan; King of the Well-Endowed. The only downside to Bourque’s new job ? Getting suspended once a week for elbowing coworkers with bigger penises than him …
Stay tuned as we attempt to track down as many ex-Habs we can find …
Meanwhile – check out Kevin and the boys at Habs Eye on the Prize , the Hockey Writers and Knuckles Nilan. They will fill you in about STUFF !

Top Ten Signs Rene Bourque is Ready to Rumble !

If the Montreal Canadiens had not dealt Mike Cammalleri to the Flames – their game against the Washington Ovechkins tonight would have been all about two points.

Rick Keene and Chris Nilan

Instead , le match just may be a better sequel than Slapshot 2 ; Breaking the Ice .

The player the Habs received in exchange for Cammalleri, Rene Bourque, was suspended five games for giving the Caps’ Backstrom a shot to the head with his elbow the last time the two squads met. That ‘shot’ gave the Washington player a concussion and his teammates a reason to be angry at the Habs’ new man.

In this case – the instigator rule will be welcomed by Bourque as the pay back may be kinder and gentler than the days when another R.Bourque played the game.

Never the less , THIS Bourque is prepared !

Here now, are the top ten signs Bourque is ready for a rumble !

10. Spent three hours at the skate sharpening machine … Sharpening his stick!

9. Changed his name from Rene to ‘ Junkyard Dog ‘ …

8. Was seen at the local Couch-Tarde convenience store punching beef jerky in the beer

7. Fight Club has replaced Memoirs of a Geisha as his favorite movie of all time !

6. If anyone asks him a question … He responds ; ” You got a problem

5.Challenged the girl at the McDonalds drive – thru window to an arm wrestling match because she forgot to put ‘ ketchup in the bag …!’

4.Receiving phone calls every four and a half minutes from Muhammed Ali detailing the ‘rope-a-dope ‘strategy that worked so well in Manilla …

3. Using ‘imagery’ to the utmost as he pictures PK Subban French – kissing his girl …

2.Asked Micheal Vick’s dog trainers for ‘advice’ …

and the number one sign Bourque is ready to rumble …?

1.” Puttin’ on the foil …!”

Prices Valid until February 28

Prices Valid until February 28

Dick Irvin; Not his Father ‘s Son

If you were a Montreal Canadiens‘  fan during the seventies – there were two people that you loved more than most

It was not Gilligan and the Skipper. It was not your parents .

It wasn’t even Mr. Kotter and Vinnie Barbarino  (although John Travolta as Barbarino was kinda cute ). No sir – the pair that were admired and voted most likely to be hugged on a regular basis were Danny Gallivan and Dick Irvin Jr.

Danny Gallivan was the play by play man for the Montreal Canadiens and Dick Irvin Jr. was his trusty sidekick and color man on Hockey Night in Canada broadcasts. The Lone Ranger and Tonto of hockey. Danny called the plays and Mr. Irvin delivered accurate statistics of the players that carried them out. Although Gallivan became somewhat of a star in hockey circles for conjuring phrases and words on the spot – it was Irvin’s unwavering convictions of the players that skated for the Habs (and NHL) that injected a moral grounding to a game within the game.

Danny Gallivan

Gallivan’s  ‘spineramas  ‘ and ‘ scintillating saves ‘ were highly complimented by Irvin’s correct assessment of not only a player’s ability, his integrity as well. Irvin provided a canvas of high standards upon which Mr. Gallivan painted an abstract painting. The pair belonged together as much as Burns and Allen or Bogey and Bacall. Along with Foster Hewitt before – the duo set the standards for hockey broadcasters to follow. A level which has not been reached since…

A Legend’s Legend is Born

Aside from being Gallivan’s partner in the broadcast booth, James Dickinson Irvin Junior was also known as the son of a famous hockey coach. The offspring of a legendary Montreal Canadiens coach. An instructor that went on to become a legend in the NHL and for the Montreal Canadiens. Dick Irvin Sr. stuck his son with a label that made it difficult for his offspring as he commenced his career in a domain he adored.

Sports broadcasting.

“Of course people had high expectations for me and some gave me a hard time because of it.” Says Irvin. ” Throughout my sportscasting career, even as late as 1995 , I have been called a ‘ homey’ because of my dad’s affiliation with the Canadiens. I loved my job and the Montreal Canadiens – I never thought there was shame in that!”

Fortunately for Dick Irvin – he was his own man and always was…

A native of Calgary, Alberta – Mr Irvin  is a man that has worn many fedoras over the years. At the age of eighty – none of those hats have blown too far away with the winds of change. Not yet. Not ever.

Irvin Sr.

He graduated from McGill university with a bachelor of commerce degree and toiled in commerce for several years before turning to his passion – sports. Mr. Irvin commenced working as a sports broadcaster for CFCF -radio and eventually  CFCF – TV. Following the usual apprenticeship – Irvin became well known as the sports director for the media outlet in the early seventies before becoming famous outside of Montreal for being a second banana.

Irvin was the color man on Hockey Night in Canada until 1984 when his iconic partner in crime – Danny Gallivan, retired from calling the play by play. Irvin stayed on with Hockey Night in various roles – including the one vacated by his good friend ; play-by-play. Mr. Irvin could often be seen traveling back and forth between the studio and ice level to interview players, coaches and officials. Irvin indeed wore many pale blue coats during his career with the CBC up until his retirement in 1999.

The coach’s son did not stop there …

Mr. Irvin penned six books about hockey . Five written while he was running around with the CBC  and one after retirement in 2001. The book titles are ;

  1. Now Back to You, Dick (1988)
  2. The Habs (1991)
  3. Behind the Bench (1993)
  4. In the Crease (1995)
  5.  Tough Calls (1997)
  6. My 26 Stanley Cups (2001)

A lifetime of knowledge contributed to the success of the titles among his peers, his fans and his pocketbook. Follow the names of each one and it is a summation of his career.

Mr. Irvin until recently was the longest serving member of Hockey Night in Canada – surpassed by Bob Cole. The man who was chided in the booth by Gallivan with the latter calling him ‘Richard’ to bug him,was elected into the Hockey Hall of Fame in the broadcasting category in 1988 . An election into the Canadian Association of Broadcasters followed in 2004.

Mr. Irvin is the only man the Montreal Canadiens call on to serve as emcee for special occasions. Irvin is called upon to do English introductions of jersey retirements and other various ceremonies such as the Habs centennial year celebrations.

A Conversation

Language is a hot topic these days in Montreal with the appointment of an english – only coach. Mr. Irvin is well aware of the fine line between politics and the game in this city.

” When my Dad coached the team – it was very much a french canadian team. Maurice Richard was the star and it was his team. It did not matter how many french players were on the team. It was the people’s team and the people were french-canadian.”

Did the media or fans get on Dick Sr because of his mother tongue ?

” When my father started coaching the team – it was a very bad one. My father was brought to Montreal to resurrect the club.Having won a Cup in Toronto, Tommy Gorman hired my Dad to coach a team that had only won ten games the year before. If the fans had an misgivings over my father’s language – they were quickly dismissed. My dad turned the Habs into winners and he also made them tough.”

What would happen today if your Dad was the coach of the Habs?

” It is a different time. The media is everywhere – especially in Montreal. I suppose it would come down to winning. If my Dad had not guided the Canadiens to six finals and three championships , perhaps the fans and media would have been all over him also. Randy ( Cunneyworth) is in the hot seat and probably more so because he is not winning. You have to remember – the french people are passionate in life and hockey. The Richard Riot was all about french and english. ”

Who should be coaching the Habs right now?

“I think to keep the peace , the Canadiens must hire a bilingual coach. That way, whoever it is can concentrate on hockey. It is sad but it is reality in this market …Bob Hartley is a good coach and he fits the bill.”

Do you miss your job …?

“Not really … I have trouble trying to figure out smart phones – let alone iPads. It is a younger man’s game today to do what I did. The game is not what it once was. It reflects society and it is a fast moving world in which we live.”

What are your plans …? Any more books ?

“I think my literary career is over. I said what I wanted to say and have run out of stuff. Unless I get bored…”

Will we see you announcing at Habs games ?

” I am enjoying my retirement and my grandchildren. I will be there if they call me. My fear is that the next ceremony will be a minute of silence for me. Unfortunately , I cannot announce that one …”

Somehow – Mr. Dick Irvin probably could …

Irvin and Gallivan in the Booth

I would like to thank Mr. Irvin for taking a few minutes to answer my questions.For the record – Mr. Irvin bought bread and I bought milk …


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The Montreal Canadiens will Win the Stanley Cup

If it were that simple – Rejean Houle would be running the show …

It appears to be a new fad.

Bash Geoff Molson, bash Pierre Gauthier and bash the iconic Montreal Canadiens.Why …?

The reality of the situation is that Pierre Gauthier and Bob Gainey before – are and were two GM’ s trying to ice the best team possible. Have they made mistakes ? Bet your bleu, blanc et rouge bottoms they have. Are their misdemeanors more devastating than other teams in Bettman’s league of nations ? Aside from Detroit and maybe San Jose – not really.

The Montreal Canadiens are a symbol of hockey supremacy. They represent all that is supposed to be good in sports and life. They bring people back to a simpler time. A time when hard work, skill and devotion brought the ultimate prize. The players that skated under the banners that multiplied with each passing season gave relief. A reason to live for not just Quebecers yet people from all walks of life. If a wife left a husband or visa versa , there was always the Montreal Canadiens to warm their broken hearts.If a man lost his job and had trouble feeding the kids …there was always the Montreal Canadiens to distract his troubled mind.

If the diminutive Yvon Cournyoyer could not only compete yet shine in a league of giants – there was hope for an otherwise hopeless situation. In a harsh environment, when the -35 temperature stops the car from running …the Montreal Canadiens are there to curse, cheer and decrease the stress. If Maurice Richard could net fifty goals in fifty games – a broken radiator is not that big of a deal. If the famous number 9 could lead his team to victory – time after time , the possibility of becoming a foreman in an assembly plant seems real.These scenarios are not far-fetched or even sporadic.They continued for seventy-five years and set the bar very high for a hockey team.

As the years and hockey seasons progressed – the Canadiens have had to adapt to unfamiliar surroundings. Gone are the days when the team had the rights to French Canadian boys who grew up with Stanley Cup stars in their eyes. Gone are the days when hard working men played every shift as if it were their final one. Players today are not afraid of losing their jobs. If Mike Cammalleri had played in the fifties, sixties or even the seventies – he would have thought twice before voicing his disenchantment. Why ? Not because he would be afraid of losing his post with the greatest hockey franchise. His brain would have stopped his mouth for fear of being blackballed in a sport that used to be filled with integrity and loyalty. A group of men that instilled the proper etiquette. Kids looked up to their behavior and if their deeds were dastardly – an entire generation would learn and grow into the same type of ‘misfits’. Which is indeed what has happened .

A Honourable Trend

Guy Carbonneau was on the golf course after a disappointing exit for the Canadiens. Tired of the omnipresent francophone press and wanting to be Greta Garbo-esque, the former captain desired to be left alone to think his thoughts. Carbonneau was human . When a photographer invaded his personal space – Carbonneau did what most people might do. He flipped the ‘oiseau’. Gave the finger to the soul sucking paparazzi. In any other city or sport – Carbonneau’s actions would have been scolded and that was it. Because it was Montreal and he represented a class organization – Guy was thrown away like an empty case of Molson. Was it the proper thing to do ? Hockey wise no. For the good of young children and what the organization represented – you bet your $250.00 tickets it was. Nothing was bigger than the CH. That was and continues to be the one common denominator of the Montreal Canadiens.

Chris Chelios was not traded to Chicago because he was a bad hockey player. Chelios was dispatched to the windy city because of his off-ice antics. The Habs set the bar high yet it did not mean for their players to get high at the bar. Mike Ribiero was sent away for the same reasons as were Pierre Dagenais and Jose Theodore. Carbonneau ( not quite bright) was allegedly dispatched once again as coach from the team because of his off-ice philandering with the likes of Komasarek,Higgins and O’Byrne to name a few. It does not matter how big you are – the history and public images of the team are much bigger.

Some would say this is hypercritical. After all, the highest scoring point getter in franchise history – Guy Lafleur, was a noted partier. Some would say it is hypocritical because the Canadiens , as most corporate entities , are psychopathic in their business transactions. The entire basement of the Bell Center is reportedly filled with centennial souvenirs that were over estimated in the team’s attempt to rake in the mighty dollar. Want a commemorative Jean Beliveau diaper for your small child ? Le Centre Bell is the place to go. Ask the proper questions and you may just get one cheap. Yet can you blame an organization that wants to accumulate enough money to compete in a league of millionaires. The Habs have been penalized by the high tax dollar in the city, the province and the country. Instead of a thank you note from the city of Montreal for bringing tourists and notoriety to the city – the team instead having to pay enormous sums of money so the crooks in city hall can bring their son-in-laws to the game. Now that’s hypocritical.

In these days of salary cap madness , me-generation players and endless distractions, the Montreal Canadiens try very hard to hold the flame high in a world that is getting nuttier by the day. The people who bash the Canadiens beyond the everyday criticism of daily transactions and questionable moves are hurting. A Boston Bruin fan , a Winnipeg Jet fan or an office worker in Japan who follows hockey on his laptop are in pain.

No one wants to see a symbol of greatness suffer. The world mourns when Superman has been weakened. A collective gasp echoes through an audience of movie patrons if the Joker has Batman down for the count and seemingly ‘dead’. There are those who sincerely hate these Superheroes as there are Montreal Canadien haters. One thing that remains constant – the villains come and go yet Superman and Batman live to fight another day.

In the first round of the 1992 -93 playoffs , the Canadiens were down 2 -0 to the Quebec Nordiques. The situation seemed as hopeless as it does now. It was not just Patrick Roy, John Leclair and Eric Desjardins who won the organizations 24th Stanley Cup. It was the energy that accumulated throughout the hockey world as ‘everyone’ cheered for ‘Rocky’ to get up.

When there are that many people sending karma into the air – it is hard to keep a hero down.

It is … that simple !


Hockey Writers, Habs Eye on the Prize and Knuckles


Top Ten Reasons Mike Cammalleri was Traded

The Noahs Ark of constenants is no more.

Passed on. Deceased.

He is not stunned – he is dead as a member of the Montreal Canadiens.

Cammalerri - Stressed Out !

The Richmond Hill native has been dealt to the Calgary Flames. Who says a sniper cannot go home again ?

Was the recent trade necessary because of Mike’s diva mentality or is it just another indication of how bad the Canadiens’ judgment has become ?

Cammalleri joins a long line of disgruntled forwards that have moaned and been dismissed from the once glorious franchise. Sergei Kostisyn, Mikhail Grabovski and Mike Ribiero will give Cammalleri a call and have a few beers.Mark Recchi, Pierre Turgeon and Guy Carbonneau can feel his pain. Add Patrick Roy to the mix and here you have an all-star group of players that bucked the Habs defensive system and were jettisoned to greener and less snowier destinations. In the case of Cammalleri, the reasons for his trade are many.

Depending on who you believe – the ex unlucky thirteen was given a pass to the best tickets at the Calgary Stampede for different reasons.

  • The Habs needed size and Cammalleri was too small on a club that included many smurf-like skaters.
  • Cammalleri’s attitude angered and in return – alienated him from his teammates
  • The winger’s comments regarding a ‘ loser’ atomosphere crossed the blue and red line in terms of an organization’s viewpoint.

Whatever the case – he has joined a growing contigent of NHL players who appear to be disinterested in playing for Pierre Gauthier’s non – Flying Circus.

Is Subban next …?

Here now are the top ten reasons Mike Cammalleri was traded ;

10. Gauthier tired of retail stores calling him to say they are now out of hair gel.

9. Gionta, Gill and more specifically – Josh Gorges , complained of Cammalleri taking ‘too many mulligans ‘ at the team’s annual golf tournament.

8. There is no ‘I’ in team.

7. Habs trainers tired of cleaning the stains from one knee …game after game after game.

6.No matter how many times he was told – the toilet seat stayed up!

5. Kept saying ‘ cunnilingus’ instead of Cunneyworth.

4. Youppi got tired of being tickled …

3. Insisted on everyone chanting Guy ! Guy! Guy! everytime he scored.

2. Gauthier discovered Cammalleri has been putting tape on the bottom of Gomez’ skates for three seasons!

and the number one reason Mike Cammalleri was traded …?

1. No room on the Stanley Cup for his name !

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Habs – Bruins / Gionta Gone for the Season / Wayne Gretzky ‘s Trick Shots

The Habs – Bruins meet again …

Depending on your view , it will be a nightmare or a dream come true.

The Habs are limping while the Bruins are soaring – beating and scaring people along the way. Here is a list of all the times the two team have met in the play offs. If the Monttreal Canadiens make it to the dancefloor this season – there is a very good chance the rivalry will continue.

The odds would be in the Habs favour. Remember 1970 -71 ?

1928-29 Canadiens (22-7-15) lose semi – final 3-0 to Boston (26-13-5), who go on to the Stanley Cup.

1929-30 Canadiens (21-14-9) defeat Boston (38-5-1) 2-0 in Stanley Cup final.

1930-31 Canadiens (26-10-8) defeat Boston (28-10-6) 3-2 in semi – final and go on to win the Stanley Cup.

1942-43 Canadiens (19-19-12) lose semi – final 4-1 to Boston (24-17-9).

1945-46 Canadiens (28-17-5) defeat Boston (24-18-8) 4-1 in Stanley Cup final.

1946-47 Canadiens (34-16-10) defeat Boston (26-23-11) 4-1 in semi – final.

1951-52 Canadiens (36-26-10) defeat Boston (25-29-16) 4-3 in semi – final.

1952-53 Canadiens (28-23-19) defeat Boston (28-29-13) 4-1 in Stanley Cup final.

1953-54 Canadiens (35-24-11) defeat Boston (32-28-10) 4-0 in semi – final.

1954-55 Canadiens (41-18-11) defeat Boston (23-26-21) 4-1 in semi – final.

1956-57 Canadiens (35-23-12) defeat Boston (34-24-12) 4-1 in Stanley Cup final.

1957-58 Canadiens (43-17-10) defeat Boston (27-28-15) 4-2 in Stanley Cup final.

1967-68 Canadiens (42-22-10) defeat Boston (37-27-10) 4-0 in quarter final and go on to win the Stanley Cup.

1968-69 Canadiens (46-19-11) defeat Boston (42-18-16) 4-2 in semi – final and go on to win the Stanley Cup.

1970-71 Canadiens (42-23-13) defeat Boston (57-14-7) 4-3 in quarter final and go on to win the Stanley Cup.

1976-77 Canadiens (60-8-12) defeat Boston (49-23-8) 4-0 in Stanley Cup final.

1977-78 Canadiens (59-10-11) defeat Boston (51-18-11) 4-2 in Stanley Cup final.

1978-79 Canadiens (52-17-11) defeat Boston (43-23-14) 4-3 in semi – final and go on to win the Stanley Cup.

1983-84 Canadiens (35-40-5) defeat Boston (49-25-6) 3-0 in Division semi – final.

1984-85 Canadiens (41-27-12) defeat Boston (49-25-6) 3-2 in Division semi – final.

1985-86 Canadiens (40-33-7) defeat Boston (37-31-12) 3-0 in Division semi – final and go on to win the Stanley Cup.

1986-87 Canadiens (41-29-10) defeat Boston (39-34-7) 4-0 in Division semi – final.

1987-88 Canadiens (45-22-13) lose to Boston (44-30-6) 4-1 in Division semi – final.

1988-89 Canadiens (53-18-9) defeat Boston (37-29-14) 4-1 in Division final.

1989-90 Canadiens (41-28-11) lose to Boston (46-25-9) 4-1 in Division final.

1990-91 Canadiens (39-30-11) lose to Boston (44-24-12) 4-3 in Division final.

1991-92 Canadiens (41-28-11) lose to Boston (36-32-12) 4-0 in Division final.

1993-94 Canadiens (41-29-14) lose to Boston (42-29-13) 4-3 in Conference quarter final.

2001-02 Canadiens (36-31-12-3) defeat Boston (43-24-6-9) 4-2 in Conference quarter final.

2003-04 Canadiens (41-30-7-4) defeat Boston (41-19-15-7) 4-3 in Conference quarter final.

2007-08 Canadiens (47-25-10) defeat Boston (41-29-12) 4-3 in Conference quarter final.

2008 – 09 Canadiens ( 41 – 30-11) lose to Boston (53 -19- 10) Eastern Conference quater final.

2009 – 10 Canadiens ( 39 – 33 -10) lose to Boston ( 39 -30 – 13) Eastern Conference final.

2010 – 11 Canadiens ( 44-30-8) lose to Boston( 46 – 25 -11) Eastern Confrence final.


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Want to win an autograph picture from Lars Eller …? Click on Habs Eye on the Prize

Mike Cammalleri called his team ‘ losers ‘ ! How’s your french ? Check it out here …

Maurice Richard – Book review

Wayne Gretzky’s Trick Shots

Brian Gionta is gone for the season after having surgery for a bicep tear – recovery time is anywhere from 6 – 9 months.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Boston Bruins

Starting Goalies:

MTL– Carey Price confirmed [@NHLBruins] BOS– Tim Thomas likely [@NHLBruins]



Michael Cammalleri, Tomas Plekanec, Michael Blunden Max Pacioretty, David Desharnais, Erik Cole Travis Moen, Lars Eller, Andrei Kostitsyn Mathieu Darche, Petteri Nokelainen, Yannick Weber

Josh Gorges, PK Subban Hal Gill, Chris Campoli Rafael Diaz, Tomas Kaberle


Milan Lucic, David Krejci, Nathan Horton Benoit Pouliot, Patrice Bergeron, Tyler Seguin Chris Kelly, Zach Hamill, Rich Peverley Daniel Paille, Gregory Campbell, Shawn Thornton

Zdeno Chara, Johnny Boychuk Dennis Seidenberg, Joe Corvo Andrew Ference, Adam McQuaid


MTL– Brian Gionta, Scott Gomez, Ryan White, Andrei Markov BOS– Marc Savard, Brad Marchand (suspended)

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Thousands Go Shopping for a Halak

Jaroslav Halak obviously did not see the movie ‘Meet me in St. Louis’…

Halak  instead ‘met’ an estimated crowd of 6,000  at a mall in the suburban city of  Pointe Claire, Quebec. The last time a ‘visiting player ‘ was accepted with such love was when Guy Lafleur returned with the Rangers and once more with the Quebec Nordiques. Can we start referring to Halak as ‘ Le Demon Sans Cheveaux?’

The massive crowd turned up with twenty dollars in their pockets to have the 2009 -10 playoff hero sign their broken hearts.All the money went to charity and no  – that does not mean Carey Price.

Halak was scheduled to sign autographs from 2pm – 4 pm yet due to the size and excitement of the crowd, he was still signing as the surrounding stores commenced locking their doors well past 5pm. A large denomination of the crowd were young teenage girls who drowned out any announcements of Halak’s plans. When he finally did stop signing shirts, photos and pretty much anything that was thrown his way – Halak made his way into the mall and thanked the throngs of people still waiting to get an autograph much to the delight of the masses.

He was not wearing any team colors – Habs or Blues.

Is the Price right…?

Jaro is making it difficult for the Habs management to move on with their decision to let him go and appoint Price as their starting goalie for the next two seasons. The way  Halak was received  – perhaps the Canadiens could swing a trade with the Blues? Straight up – Price for Halak….!?

Bare with me…

Halak and Price are not doing well in their respective towns…Price is being booed so maliciously that he demands a trade. Halak meanwhile is singing the ‘blues’ in St.Louis and playing way below his capability in a city that doesn’ t feed him the energy he needs to compete. St.Louis gladly would like to rid themselves of Halak’s contract and by adding Price they save money on a goalie that will excel away from the media attention.

Montreal are more than willing to pay 3.75 million to a goalie who deserves it and by this time – they must pull out all stops because the Bell Center faithful are on the brink of doing a ‘ Richard Riot ‘  impersonation. Simple. Like the plot for the Alfred Hitchcock movie Strangers on a Train – ‘you do my murder, I’ll do yours…’

At the end of the 2011 – 12 season, Price (St.Louis) and Halak (Montreal) meet in the Stanley Cup final as the Habs win their twenty-fifth Stanley Cup. Price outplays Halak to win the Conn Smythe trophy and brings St.Louis to respectability.

Jaroslav is in town tonight to face Carey ( chill – out ) Price and the 2012 unbeaten Canadiens de Montreal. The two goalies have both played great for their respective clubs. Price has yet to prove he can carry a team on his back – when it counts ! Halak’s  ‘ghost’ will be the latest in a long line of ghouls haunting a Canadien’s hockey arena. This time however – the referee’ s calls may not be in the Habs favor.

Even if the teams meet in  St. Louis …

If you would like to share your encounter with Jaroslav – email me at


The Hockey Writers , Habs Eye on the Prize and Knuckles will set you straight !

Former St Louis Blue GM and Habs assistant GM Ron Caron  passed away – he was 82.

As  GM in St Louis  – Caron’s Blues made the play – offs in every season he was at the helm. Sam Pollock will get his right hand man back in heaven !

Top Ten Signs Lars Eller’s Four Goal Night Inflated his Ego

Lars Eller became the first Hab to score four goals on home ice since Brian Bellows.

This feat caused great celebration among the home fans and in turn – created a fun evening for the young Danish skater.So much fun for the kid – it appears it has gone to his head !

Here now are the top Ten signs this is true …

10. Is now demanding free Big Mac trios at McDonalds.Not just in Montreal …everywhere he goes !

9. When Paul Henderson visited the Habs dressing room before the Tampa game, Lars stood up when someone asked about ‘the goal ‘!

8. Eller refuses to shake Red Fisher ‘s hand !

7. Has informed his teammates that – from now on , they can refer to him as Halak !

6. Nobody , and I mean nobody , can touch his stick ! ( Or – as he refers to it ; ‘my magic wand ‘!)

5. Suddenly – his helmet is too small …

4. Has asked management if he can park his new Porsche in Beliveau’s spot…

3. He called up EA Sports to insist they put his picture on the cover of their NHL video game.

2. Started taking French lessons so HE can coach the team !

And the number one reason his four goal night has inflated his ego ?

1. Does not ‘care’ if number ten is retired – he wants it and he wants it NOW !

Randy Cunneyworth ‘s Hedonistic Ways

What now … ?

Moore Cake please ...

Will Lars Eller evolve into Guy Lafleur’s younger brother ?

Do the Montreal Canadiens suddenly turn into the Edmonton Oilers circa 1985 ? Or – in the words of Randy Cunneyworth , will the team be ‘ tres contente ‘ with their seven goal outburst at the gloves of the Jets de Winnipeg ?

Just like Hab legend Dickie Moore might reply when asked if he will turn eighty – two twelve months from yesterday ; ” I ‘ll take it one day at a time … !”

A Team in Transition

The Habs ,under the tight reign of Jacques Martin , were not allowed to remove their defensive shorts when an opportunity arose to take an offensive shower.Bathing under a waterfall of goals required
water- wings in Jacques’s scheme of things. Nakedness was not an
option. Now – Eller and company find themselves in uncharted waters.Coach Cunneyworth is all for nude sunbathing and is edging his team to bask in the red light above opposing team ‘s goaltenders.

Some of the players have toiled for Martin for three seasons. They are shy to remove their bleu, blanc et rouge briefs. They are akin to be laughed at or punished if they experienced shrinkage in the other team’s zone.Cunneyworth is no Glen Sather. He does have defensive ideas to tag along with his Stanley Cup aspirations. What we see now with le Club Du Hockey Canadien is a group of players that are in transition.

They know not whether to turn right or left when the whip comes down in the form of an offensive onslaught by the opposition. The good devil on their right shoulders( aka Cunneyworth ) is saying never mind -it’s going to be cool !The red devil with the big ears on the left shoulder ( aka Martin), is chastising them like an angry Dad with poor parenting skills.Cammalleri ‘s head is so mixed up right now – it is amazing he is able to dress himself.

Cammalleri suffered the most under Martin. (Even demanding a trade
last year).If number thirteen continued skating for Martin -his goal output may have been negative before season’s end.Now – Mike must recall how he once was a dominant ,up and coming player in this league. He must teach his mates some of his tricks along the way. Gionta , Moen and Gomez along with ‘Cammy’, have not played together without Martin’s strict , ‘ bathing suit’ rules. Like a blind groom on a honeymoon who suddenly regains his sight – the Hab forwards have discovered what ‘the bride’ looks like.Now – they must decide if they want to score.

Interim Coach – Like kissing your Sister

In a normal hockey situation – the first two weeks after a
new coach takes the helm, progress is made through addition by subtraction. The new coach implements his style and weeds through his team like Crocodile Dundee looking for a … well, crocodile. Along the way, he informs his GM – which players are nice and which players are Mickey Rourk-ish.The bad apples are removed and a brighter, healthier bunch are brought into the barrel.

The new apples are the type the coach enjoys! Fruits that are easy on the stomach. An upset tummy may invite the runs yet not a Stanley Cup one.

In Montreal , home of the ‘not-so- brave’ team owners, a coach in Cunneyworth’s position cannot dress as Paul Hogan on Hallowe’en or any other day of the year and search out crocodiles.The GM won ‘t let him and why should he ? In naming coach Cunneyworth an interim one – Gauthier has also tied his decisions into a knot.The ‘ghost’ has to
pretty much stay with the players he has because the ‘new coach’ who replaces Cunneyworth will have Dundee abilities and the freedom to roam the swamp.Presumably, the new coach will be better than Cunneyworth and may want a guy like Kostisyn.

The Habs are stuck between a puck and a hard place right now.They must stay the course and hope for the best.

If Eller is related to Lafleur and plays like it – good things will happen to all the players on the team. If the team plays like the 1985 Oilers- Dickie Moore may get his eighty – second birthday present in May ,2012 instead of January 6th , 2013 …

Happy Birthday Dickie Moore !


As usual – Habs Eye on the Prize , the Hockey Writers and Knuckles will enlighten you !

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Kerry will give you the bestest price on ink cartridges and we all know how expensive they are !

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Four – score and Six Years Ago

The Four Goals of Life

The four major aspects of Hindu dharma known as purushartha are:

  • Kama: Seeking physical (sensual love) or emotional pleasure within the limits of dharma.
  • Artha: As kama pursuit has a limiting satisfaction after while, artha or seeking power, fame and wealth will be complementary.
  • Dharma: With age and maturity, one will have the joy of living in harmony with dharma.
  • Moksha: To beat the Winnipeg Jets

Lars Eller accomplished the final goal on the list by completing four goals … Go figure eh ?

Long Time Comin’

Eller is the first Hab to score four goals in a game since Jan Bulis potted four in 2006. After scoring his first career NHL hat- trick – Lars completed his night on a penalty shot at the half way mark of the third period.

What a goal it was …

Eller skated in from the right side and veered left about a foot in front of the Jet net minder. The peanut venders, the ushers , the callgirls outside working the street corner and Jet goalie Chris Mason all slid to their right. Eller stopped briefly and did his best impersonation of Serge Savard – pulling an admirable spinerama and popping the puck into the recently vacated net.

Eller’s fourth of the evening was one of the most exciting goals
scored at the Bell Center since Alexei Kovalev pulled people from their seats when the urge struck him to do so.The Montreal Canadiens as a team are hard pressed to score three goals in a game , let alone four. When one player does it – there is ample reason for Hab fans to go nuts. The problem with Eller’s goal ? It was  illegal.

The penalty shot rule states that the puck must be in constant forward motion. Lars ‘ improbable move – returned the puck toward Carey Price albeit briefly.

Did the refs notice the glitch or was the game considered out of reach  at this point ( 6-2 ) ?  Perhaps the goal was so pretty …  Why ruin a good party ? There is already a conspiracy theory skating through Montreal . One that states the refs are to the Habs what Bin Laden was to the U.S.  Maybe the refs were not going to take a risk at being on the wrong end of a nasty crowd. Clarence Campbell may be the only ghost that occupies the Bell Center right now and the officials were not going to wake him up. Not on Eller’s night.

French / Danish Translation

It's Eller time !

The French fans and media make up that crowd and are ornery these days over the appointment of an English – only coach. Eller’s command of the French language lay somewhere between none and zilch. Funny how the majority of the fans at the game showed their disapproval of Eller’s language issues by giving the Danish skater the longest ovation since the return of Saku Koivu in a Duck uniform.

Talk about ‘quackers ‘ …

Not since Inspector Clouseau’s nose was painted with cold cream have French people seemed so silly … Montrealers may be nuts yet is there a better building to skate in when things move in the proper direction ?

Somehow , things are special in Montreal…

It is not Eller scoring four goals ! It is Lars , Lafleur, Lemaire and Lapointe – all time warped into one special moment. If Carey Price completes a string of five shut – outs , Bill Durnan and Gump Worsley share the ovation with the young net minder. It is the uniform that matters. By scoring four goals , Eller has added to the myth of Les Habitants. Adding another moment to the team’s history.

Moments such as the young Danes’  – have been passed onto generations of hockey fans in the city. A ten year old boy is aware the team , his team , mounted a five goal comeback against the New York Rangers. The young man well knows of the exploits of Mats Naslund and Gilbert Dionne. Eller’s glorious moment may now be passed onto their children and so it goes. Moment after monumental moment. Passed on for one hundred years. A centennial of clippings to add to the arsenal of  young francophone  mens ‘ four goals of life …

  • Kama – Learn to skate
  • Artha -Learn to pass
  • Dharma – Learn to shoot
  • Moksha – Play hockey for the Montreal Canadiens

Maybe the French are not so ‘ quackers ‘ after all …


Habs Eye on the Prize , The Hockey Writers and Knuckles are great to read !

Top Ten Reasons why P.K Subban and Tomas Plekanec Got into a Fight

Tsk …tsk …

Boys will be boys and girls will be boys – it’s a mixed up world except for Lola …L *O*L*A … Lola ! Le..le..le..le … Lola !

Sorry – got carried away there …

Tomas Plekanec and Subban got into a brou – ha ha during practice the other day. No big deal. It happens once in a while to teams that are succesful , so why can’t it happen to the Canadiens ?

The fight was a build-up – kinda like the tension  that arose over a period of time between Patrick Roy and Mario Tremblay. Thank God Plekanec or Subban are not coaching …

Here , without any doubt whatsoever are the reasons why the two Habs dropped their purses and went at it …

10. Plekanec said ” Your Momma ” one too many times …

9. Tomas got tired of Subban coming up to him and pulling on his goatee – asking .. ” Is it real …? Is it …?”

8. Subban said ; ” Californifaction is the best TV show …” Plekanec said ” No – it is The Mentalist !” … push came to shove and …

7. Guy Lafleur called Subban to wish him Merry Christmas and ask for Plekanec’s  phone number … Subban gave Lafleur Sean Avery‘s instead. Safe to say …Tomas was none too pleased of the whole affair !

6. An out of town reporter asked Plekanec what the initials P. K represented …? Plekanec replied ; ” Pink-ish Kommie ! ”

5. Subban sent Twitter  picture of his private parts to Plekanec’s girlfriend. The caption read ; Wide Angle lens only !

4. Parking lot dispute !

3. Subban was seen telling everyone that Plekanec’s Mom and Dad were ‘ stupid ‘ ! Case in point – no ‘ H ‘ in Tomas.

2. Plekanec not really into the ‘ Hip Hop scene

and the number one reason Plekanec and Subban got into a fight …

       1. Subban did not put the cap back on the toothpaste !


Hockey Writers , Habs Eye on the Prize and Knuckles Nilan will keep you updated ….

Call Kerry Kenemy at Pro ink for your ink cartridges and Armen at Galerie D’Art Pointe Claire will frame your hockey jersey ! Framing is Armen’s specialty …! Greg Senneville at Pc – Teck will help in all your computer needs !

The Father, the Son and the Holy Grail

The following story was published last year . I have been fortunate to gain many followers on this site so I decided to re – print this story to start the new year !
Please enjoy …!

Every Saturday night after a home cooked meal, my Dad and I would settle down on the floor in front of the television set and get ready to watch Hockey Night in Canada.

Saturday was our day.

David Henry Keene – my Dad , owned a transport company and long hours prevented him from spending much time with me during the week. Somehow, he managed to find the time on the first day of the weekend as the two of us left the house just before noon and spent the day shopping. We shopped for guy stuff, we shopped for food and we always stopped somewhere ‘cool’ and had an afternoon snack or a drink.

Sometimes my Mom would come,  even if she did – my Dad and I always found ourselves alone at one point. I do not recall any conversations we had but to a young boy , being with Dad was the most amazing thing in the world and it did not matter what was said or where we were. I was with my Dad and I was proud.

Saturday Night

As the familiar theme from Hockey Night in Canada exited the speakers from our ‘state of the art ‘Hitachi console television, my heart would speed up because I knew that in mere minutes I would be seeing my Montreal Canadiens take to the ice and – more times then not – beat the opposing team. My Dad was not a Canadiens fan. He was not a fan of any particular team, he was a fan of any team that was playing against Les Habitants. The two of us would argue constantly over the course of a game, all the while our bodies as one as my head lay upon his chest.

“Beliveau and the Pocket Rocket were the greatest!” I would tell him as he countered with “Phil Esposito and Bobby Orr” on a night the Habs were playing the Big Bad Bruins.” No better goalie than Rogie Vachon.”  I would say countering my Dad’s ‘”Tony Esposito” as the Black Hawks attempted to beat my team.

The year was 1970, I was five years old and growing up. Maturing along with Les Canadiens as Dryden, Robinson,Shutt and Lafleur were emerging as stars. Others such as Savard, Lapointe and Lemaire were entering their prime. As the team ended a brief Bruins’ dynasty and traded cups with Chicago, my Dad was not around as much. He was battling heart problems. More times than not , I found myself alone in front of the television observing the on-ice exploits of  the ‘Big Three’ and the amazing performances of Lafleur, Cournoyer, Pete Mahovolich and the wise Henri Richard. It wasn’t the same without my Dad.

Bobby Orr Plays The Habs

I was not allowed to play ice hockey due to the operations I had on my ears so I studied the game like a scientist. Every Wednesday and Saturday night,I was glued to the television observing arguably the greatest hockey team to ever play. Savard’s Spinerama, Robinson’s combination of grace and toughness, Lemaire’s uncanny playmaking ability and Guy Lafleur with his speed, shot and unexplainable feints.When I discovered that not only did I share the same hometown as Jacques Lemaire, but the same birthday – there was not a person in LaSalle, Quebec that was not aware of that particular fact.

During those years, every boy played street hockey. It didn’t matter if it was Summer, Spring, Fall or Winter. It did not matter if you were French or English – skinny or fat. Les Canadiens were the glue that connected everyone. Kids, teenagers and parents took to the ice or pavement and for the next few hours – became Guy Lafleur, Doug Risebrough or Murray Wilson. It was rare to see anyone sporting the blue and white of the Maple Leafs or the Red and White of the Detroit Red Wings. Everyone respected the likes of Gordie Howe, Stan Mikita and Jean Ratelle. They somehow did not have the mystique the players who suited up for the Montreal Canadiens had – they were ‘human’.

If you took the frozen tennis ball on a street-long rush you were The Flower. If you made a save with your baseball glove you were no longer Rick Keene, you now became Ken Dryden or on occasion Michel ‘Bunny’ Larocque. The game would start at 9 a.m. and, aside for two half-hour breaks for unimportant things like lunch or supper, the games would continue into the night. The game and the day would end with one player practising a wrist shot in between two large rocks that transformed into goalposts for a day.

Sad Times

Just as the Habs were beginning their journey into hockey history with a first of four consecutive Stanley Cups, my Dad succumbed to a third heart attack bringing an inevitable double bypass operation to help prolong his life and in return, a longer relationship with me. The operation was successful and more importantly to me – my Dad was home all the time while recuperating. It was at this time, upon completion of a third operation on my ears, I discovered that I was allowed to play organized hockey come Fall.My Dad and I went on a shopping trip to the local sports store. I was equipped form head to toe with all the tools I needed to become the next superstar of the Montreal Canadiens.

I’m sure many people were surprised to see a 10-year-old boy walking around in mid – July wearing a full Canadiens uniform. To me it did not matter. Much  to the chagrin of my Mom and Dad. For the first couple of weeks I ate in that uniform, slept in that uniform and – aside from the problems of re-positioning my jockstrap when I went to the bathroom – I adored that uniform. I could not wait for September. It was my birthday on the seventh, the 20th was my very first hockey practice, the Canadiens were taking to the ice once more and my Dad was alive and healthy. School was the only negative, but with everything else being so exciting – it appeared as a minor detail.

Two weeks after school started, one week after my birthday and a few days before my first hockey practice – my Dad passed away from a massive heart attack.

 He would never get to see me play hockey.


Monday Morning Q – Tip

Okay …

Remove all the noise from around the world of the Habs with Le Forum de Montreal Q – Tip. News that happened over the week-end that made you go wtf and  hmmm …

  • Martin Brodeur is one assist or one goal away from tying Scott Gomez in points this season.
  • Josh Gorges signed a new six year deal with the Montreal Canadiens ensuring him the captaincy down the road. That is unless Ronald Corey arrives back in the picture. If the former president of the Habs takes control – Gorges’ reign would last approximately 34 minutes
  • Les Canadiens spent more time scoring at the Florida bars than on the ice. The results …? The Lightning and Panthers 2 – Montreal 0. ( Raphael Diaz scored a hat trick – Suzanne, Donna and Tiffany are said to be pleased …)
  • On this date in 1815 ; Napoleon Bonaparte was defeated by British and Prussian troops at Waterloo, Belgium. Brian Gionta is sporting a red coat and keeping his hand in his jacket all day to commemorate his taller Uncle’s loss…
  • Five years to the day – The Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy opens to 152 hand-picked students in South Africa. P.K Subban so far – has received 112 calls and expects the remaining 39 to get back to him by dinner time. No word if Oprah will be giving low fives …
  • On this date in 1988 , Brian Mulroney signs free trade agreement with U.S President Ron Reagan. In August , Wayne Gretzky was dealt to the L.A Kings . Is it any wonder why Mulroney is considered one of the worst Prime Ministers in Canadian history …
  • Panther’s forward Krys Barch is under investigation for possibly sending a racial slur P.K Subban’s way during the Habs – Florida game on New Year’s Eve. Rumour has it Barch called Subban a Montreal Canadien …

    Hmmmmmm ....









Also on this day …

  Westmount Quebec – Montreal Wanderers’ hockey arena burns down. Maurice Richard seen leaving the area with an empty pack of matches …Newfoundland – Founding of the Supreme Court of Newfoundland. When asked about it – Newfoundlander and former Hab Micheal Ryder quipped ; ” Um… what’s a court ?”

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