Scott Gomez is Hurt ( and Gaddafi Don’t Feel So Good Himself ).


A two hundred pound gorilla was lifted off the backs of an entire city last night. Hopefully it will be placed onto the hides of the people in Hamilton, Ontario. Hey ! Like the Canadian – born members of the pop band Barenaked Ladies once sang : ” Haven’t you always wanted a monkey ?”

A verbal exchange took place moments before the Habs ‘ Scott Gomez was injured. A conversation that was caught on tape by a tiny microphone ( okay – it was heard by Brian Gionta ; same thing ). The trading of words went something like this ;

” There ‘ s no skating allowed !” Said a powerful voice. Seemingly out of nowhere.

” Who said that ? ” Answered Gomez as he made his way around the perimeter of the Penguins’ zone.

Nothing. No sound . No response. At which point Scott continued his inept play.

Without warning – the voice boomed once more. Louder than before.

” There ‘s no SKATING allowed ! ” The Canadiens’ forward was the only one to hear the voice.

” God ! Is that you … ?” Replied number eleven.

” No ! It’s the zamboni driver … there’s no skating allowed ! ” The voice was fiery with it’s tone.

” The zamboni driver ? Gomez responded with a smile on his face. ” I think you have the wrong guy. You are supposed to be in the joke where you yell at the newfie who is ice-fishing on the hockey rink!”

There was a pause as Gomez figure – skated toward a loose puck.

” Same thing !” Replied the voice.

At which point the Habs’ seven -million dollar man ‘s focus left him and he was drilled into the boards.

“That’ll teach ya …” Answered God as he flipped the keys to the zamboni driver.

A Cancer Removed

Yesterday – Colonel Muammar Muhammad Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi  was

Gaddafi - In the morgue.

eliminated and dragged through the streets of Libya. His face was bloodied as he was beat up by the very people he tormented for decades. A grisly end to a tyrannical reign.

Hmmm … wait a second ?

Perhaps this is not a bad way to end Gomez’ days in Montreal ? He could be dragged down Ste. Catherine Street and put to his death in front of the shell of the Montreal Forum. Wait a minute …! Have I gone mad ? What gruesome thoughts have entered my brain …? That cannot be done in a democracy such as Canada. It is inhumane and barbaric ! Besides – how could we possible inflict that type of pain on the people of Montreal. Imagine – carrying the Alaskan native through the streets. What a job that would be …!?

Like Gaddafi to his people – Gomez has been a cancer to the Montreal Canadiens. Head-to-toe. Helmet to skates. Management through stick boys have been inflicted with a heaviness as Scott’ s woes have burdened the club with sickness . A fatigue that could not be fought with any form of chemotherapy or trade bait. A tiredness that can be cured soley on the beaches of Hamilton ( Yes – they have beaches ).

Room for Palushaj ?

Whether or not Scott Gomez returns to the line-up in a few days , weeks or never at all – his absence is what the doctor ordered for a limping Canadien squad.

The team is off to it’s second worse start in the history of the organization. One win , one shoot-out loss and four real losses in six games. A honeymoon without a bride to commence the new season. Where’s Ronald Corey when needed ? If the former president of the Habs were around – Martin and Gauthier would be fired by now. ( It took four games for Corey to remove then G.M Serge Savard and coach Jacques Demers from their posts during the 1995-96 season). Martin and Gauthier deserve the plank. Savard and Demers did not.

Put me in coach - I'm ready to play ...

As Gomez wanders around the corridors of Le Centre Bell or the shores of Ontario – his absence will allow young skaters such as Aaron Palushaj or Barney the Friendly Dinosaur to enter the line-up for a sustained period of time (either one would be an improvement ). This will enable Martin or whoever is at the helm of this ship to get a good look at the former St. Louis Blue or the purple reptile. The ‘dead wood ‘ would be removed from the frozen pond on LaGauchetiere street and allow the team’s skaters breathing room.

Some of them may shed their green dresses and begin producing like they can.

But not real green dresses … that’s cruel ( and sexist ) !

* The Habs lost to Pittsburgh last night 3 -1 . Read Chris Nilan’ s take on the game …

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