Habs 2 Kharma Bums 0

It sure sucks to be a sports fan in Beantown right about now – does it not ?

The Patriots are no longer the dominant force they once were . The Celtics have resorted to signing an over – the – hill Shaq to help dethrone the machine also known as the L. A . Lakers and the Sox are off to a dismal start in Baseball . Yaz nation is none too happy and all this is just the good news …

The Boston Bruins , the supposedly BIG BAD BRUINS , are down 2 – 0 in their opening round playoff series against their archrivals – Les Canadiens de Smurfville . It was not supposed to be this way . Say it ain ‘ t so Don Cherry … !

Julien or Julienne ?

What is the problem with these skaters from the frozen waters of the Charles River ? Is it the coach ? The same Claude Julien who seemingly self – destructs when push comes to high – sticking . Perhaps Lou Lamiorello was on to something when he deemed the then Julien coached Devils ‘ not playoff ready ‘ as he fired the kindly coach moments before the road to the Cup began. Bob Gainey may have sent a memo to his pal Lou as the former Montreal G. M . did the same when Julien coached the pre – Smurf Habs . Gainey did not feel that his squad was in post – season mode as well. Say it ain’ t so Claude …!

Given the fact that Julien appears as a character out of Muppet Land or the distant cousin  of Sesame Streets ‘ Snuffulufagous , he is not the reason ( this time ) that his team is deeper in doggy – doo than Don Cherry ‘ s beloved dog Blue ever was !

The ‘ Kharma ‘ Bums

Les Bruins de Boston have skinny – dipped once too often in the shallow end of the kharma pool this season and the hockey gods are not very pleased .

Where shall we commence ?

If Zdeno Chara had admitted that he purposely gave Pacioretty a shove from behind in retribution for Max ‘s shove to his backside in a previous ill- advised incident , all would have been forgotten by the spectres of the two -line pass. The NHL would have suspended Chara and then the Habs , their fans and the ghouls of La Gauchetiere would have gone to bed as happy campers and dreamt of Stanley Cups past. Instead – Monsieur Chara , he of skates sized thirty , denied even knowing it was Pacioretty thus beginning a chain of events leading to the Bruins being on the brink of an early golfing date .

The eyes from above opened a little wider when , Colin Campbell was not allowed to fumble his way to a decision on Chara ‘s fate. His son – Gregory ,  was a partner in crime to Zdeno and his wicked ways as a teammate for the Stanley – droughted Boston club. Before the Rocket could translate ‘ conflict of interest ‘ to his native tongue and contemporaries , Chara was tried and unconvicted by Mike Murphy – Campbell’s right handed slave .

Once the shock of the non – Chara suspension wore off , it was now Mark Recchi ‘s turn to tempt the Gods.

Dr. Recchi

Recchi decided that being a former Penguin , Flyer , Hurricane and Hab gave him the necessary credentials to practice medecine . In a world where doctors normally leave Quebec for the ‘ greener ‘pastures of the United States , Recchi apparently took it upon himself to fill the void . ‘ Docteur Marc ‘ advised the hockey world that the Habs’ medical staff concoted Pacioretty’s injury in order to evict a guilty verdict from Bettman ‘s boys . Recchi now owes a thank you note to Boom – Boom for stopping John Ferguson from jumping the ‘penalty box in the sky’ and beating the Bruin silly. Strike two on Harry Sinden ‘s old club !

The Boston Bruins must have thought that clinching the Northeast division and beating the Habs 7 -0 along the way , exempted them from any retribution by the hockey Gods. Unfortunately , the team , or more specifically , Brad Marchand did not recieve the menacing post – it note from above stating the punishment begins in the playoffs. During the final meeting of the season between the Leafs and his team , Marchand tempted the Gods once more. He skated in front of the Toronto bench and in a move that made Tiger Woods envious – used his hockey stick as a golf club. The motion that soon followed is not very indicitive of a Stanley Cup run so the Leafs and ( sigh ) the hockey Gods were angered once more by the BIG BAD something – er – others …

In hockey as in baseball – a third strike means you are out unless the catcher drops the ball and tosses it to first base. Boston not only swung and missed with Marchand’s actions – they fell a good three feet before they entered the batter’s box .

Down and Out or Payback 101 ?

The Bruins are well on their way to losing their 25th playoff series in their 33th attempt against the Habs . The ghosts of hockey and Montreal have sent them back to the frenzied home of Les Canadiens down 2 – 0. Zdeno Chara missed the last game with a case of dehydration – guilt will do that to a man.

Carey Price has become Ken Dryden of 2011 and the Bruins , a well oiled machine during the regular season , now lack the punch of a steroid -less Barry Bonds. Lucic is playing like the current day Cam Neely and Tim Thomas is playing like Tim Thomas of last season.

Babe Ruth might be in this as well . Since the RedSox have won a couple of World Series titles – the poor guy has nothing to do. In lieu of moving his family to Beverly ( Hills , that is ) , it is easier to stay in the same town and haunt another franchise.

All Boston sports franchises are either ailing or up against foes real and imagined . There is no medicine to fix what ails the Bruins .

Unless Doctor Mark Recchi knows …

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