Green Giant Beats Up On Little Sprout


WARNING ! DO NOT LET YOUR KIDS WATCH THE REMAINDER OF THE HABS – BRUINS SERIES !

Unless , as parents , you and the spouse have reared them to be fans of UFC , racism and Michael Vick . Then , by all means – sit them down , plant a Bruin jersey with the name Chara on their youthful torsos and watch in amazement as they grow into fine young criminals.

Chara - Plekanec before the Game

Zdeno Chara is 6 ‘ 9 ” soaken – wet. Tomas Plekanec is a generous 5’ 9″ when wearing the proper footware. Apples and Oranges . Basketball player vs. horse jockey .

Any self – respecting man ( in the real world ) , would never –  in a million years , attack another male who is a foot smaller than he. Unless the giant in question is defending his family , the family dog or the family jewels. As the Boston Bruins hosted the Montreal Canadiens last night in game 1 of their playoff series – Bruin captain Chara demonstrated his ability to be a coward and a man who skates the fine line between aggression and the behaviour of a pychopath.

Chara , the Pacioretty incident aside , has always possessed that trait . If Zdeno gets mad during a game , the colour of the goal line is not the only red that he sees as he peers over the heads of his opponents. Presumably – as his blood boils , his size interrupts the natural progression of the anger within. A player of normal stature would get mad every two games . Given Chara ‘ s physical stature , it takes roughly twenty games for the anger to make it ‘ s way from skate to helmet and beware the player that is within the six mile radius of his wing span when it happens.

Last night it was Plekanec .

A True Captain

Unless the Habs ‘ center uttered something along the lines of ‘ Hey Chara ! Your wife ‘ s a dyke ‘ or ‘ Hey Chara ! Your wife is into bestiality with the female family dog ‘ , there lies no apparent evidence for Chara’ s elbow to the head of the Canadiens ‘ diminutive Czech . Perhaps Chara had seen plenty after Plekanec ‘ s teammate Gionta netted the game ‘ s only two goals and Jean Beliveau’s predecessor was well on his way to demonstrating how a real captain should lead.

Whatever it was that pushed Chara from sanity into the mind of Hannibal Lecter – it was no excuse for the Bruins ‘ player with the letter ‘ C ‘ on his mammoth chest to imitate his favourite UFC fighter. Chara elbowed ‘ Pleks ‘ to the head , held him down on the ice for several moments and then punched him , again in the head ,  a couple of times for good measure. To make it more embarrassing for the NHL than having Sean Avery evaluate players ‘ ex – girlfriends , Chara was assessed a two minute penalty for roughing …

Roughing ? What about elbowing , holding and roughing ? What happened to the league coming down hard on headshots ? Should Chara have not been giving a least a five minute major penalty for something ? Attempt to injure ? Ten minutes for beating up a smurf ? Is there no rule against that in Bettman ‘s bible ? There should be rules governing the well being of Smurfs – Mr . Bettman is one himself after all …

Habs Stick to Plan

The Montreal Canadiens frustrated the Capitals and the Penguins last year. Imagine how Ovechkin and company felt when –  game after game , the Habs climbed into their defensive stationwagon and played the same Eight Track tape night after night.

The Bruins started to get that idea in last night’ s game .

Pressure ? What pressure ?

Montreal appears to have the same philosophy that allowed them to skate into the third round against the Flyers last season. They sit back and allow the opposition to come in waves and shoot many pucks their goaltender ‘s way . Last year Halak was the beneficiary of  his team ‘s gifts . This year it is Carey Price ‘s turn to shine under the watchful eye of coach Martin ‘ s defensive system.

When Price was drafted , way back in 2005 , Bob Gainey and Trevor Timmins were  ‘ high as kites in a Cheech and Chong movie ‘ as they appraised their young prospect. Aside from his hockey ability , the Habs brass informed us that the young Carey was made of concrete in the nerve department. In other words – nothing fazed the kid from British Columbia. Sometimes it seems – Canadiens’ management is right.

Price started the season with more pressure to explode than a home made volcano primed with baking soda. It appears that Mr. Price has had no problem with replacing the popular Halak and has returned to his pre – NHL form. Facing the Bruins in the playoffs ? No problem ! Correct Carey ? Man of steel nerves …

The Bruins are in trouble .Their foes are much greater than Gionta, Price and Subban. Their enemy is bigger than their captain on a soapbox. If the team from Beantown wants to win this series and continue down the route to Lord Stanley ‘s garage , they must overcome themselves and defeat their demons.

The history of the Canadiens rivalry  is against them . Recent NHL playoff history is against them and their own insecurities are against them. They need to remember who they are and not who they want to be. Once they were up 3 – 0 in game seven against the Flyers last season , they started playing as Stanley Cup finalists . Problem was , they were in the second round . Boston cannot believe the press  stating they are favourites against the Habs . They must play like who they are – a team that won only twice against the Habs all season. They are the underdogs and they must play like it.

Only then will they have a chance to match Washington and Pittsburgh when they hit the golf course and ask themselves ….

” What the f*** just happened ? Didn ‘ t we outshoot them every game ? “

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