Kings – Coyotes; Die Another Day


Just over the halfway point of the second period in game four of the western conference finals – something happened.

A pivotal point in the Coyotes’ claim to stay alive.

Down 3-0 in games, captain Coyote himself hit the goal post. A ‘ding’ to his teammates’ hearts. If it was a goal – a confidence builder for his despondent mates. A three – quarter turn of the winning screw.

But wait

The team in Toronto had other ideas.

When an official is uncertain of small matters such as goals, their decision is passed on to the ‘men upstairs’. The dudes with devices that record plays. If and when the ‘boys of les buts’ witness a puck crossing the line – that message is parlayed to the penalty box.

No purgatory allowed. In this case, Shayne Doan had indeed scored. Placing the three hundred pound gorilla off the backs of the Coyotes. A heavy burden for desert dogs to tote in Tinseltown …

Up by two goals – Phoenix players start skating a little stronger with lightness in their strides. Passes suddenly seem easier than before. They are still behind the ‘eight puck’, yet for this game, the next thirty minutes – in their minds they are not.

Smiles replace grimaces on the visiting bench. Heads higher than they were before. Just like that, they believe once more …

All the dreams of winning the second oldest trophy in professional sports come flooding back. A glimpse of what the future could hold on the tip of their battered sticks. The nightmare of the past week; forgotten like a kiss in kindergarten.

L.A ‘s destiny in this game …? Up to their coach. Twenty minutes of motivation of the gentler kind. The Kings know they are close and at the same time – so far. Take away the past and forget the future. It is one game and the dynamics do not keep track beyond sixty minutes.

If they open up, Marcel Dionne’s old team risks the two-on- ones and the odd- man rushes of history. Play it safe? Three goals are not that easy against a cautionary Coyote defense. Not simple against Smith.

Penalties become an perplexing issue. Take one to save a goal, take one and you may be opening more than the penalty box door. The Kings cannot afford Coyote courtesy. They cannot allow a third goal while they are short by a pair. A return to Phoenix, no skate in the rink. No guarantees …

A bench is shortened in the regular season by the visitors – a bench is elongated by necessity in the playoffs. Each player, face drawn behind the surly beards with exhaustion. Each player’s loved ones, face drawn with exhaustion.

The Coyotes were kicked and left by a California highway to die. They picked themselves up and carried on. Now, they return to Phoenix to look for what every abused animal seeks; love.

And for something to happen once more …

Top Ten Ingredients for a Stanley Cup Winning Team


What does it take?

What does a team require to win the Stanley Cup?

Defence, offence and great goaltending will allow a bunch of guys to carry a shiny, silver chalice to their home towns. Glory and benefits …

The single dudes? Put it this way … a Cup in hand saves nine lines …!

Married with a few kids in the back of the SUV? The Cup a place to store the kids. A crib annotated with signatures from past victories.

What most people do not know – there are a few intangibles that every team that has toted Lord Stanley’s Cup high above their shoulders has owned.

Here are the Top Ten Ingredients for a Stanley Cup Winning Team …

10. Red Bull in the water bottles.

9. Satin – lined jockstraps to make the ‘in-between’ shift moments that much more pleasurable.

8. Earphones with Scotty Bowman subliminal messages pumped every period.

7. A dart board with Alan Eagleson‘s photo on the dressing room wall.

6. Skates equipped with staples on the toe.

5. A goaltender who has never heard of the Philadelphia Flyers.

4. T- Shirts imprinted with Maurice Richard‘s eyes …

3. Free foil!

2. Eleven pictures of the Pocket Rocket ironed on the inside of every jersey.

and the number one ingredient?

1. A  fabric softener that not only leave clothes soft and comfortable –  a fresh and lasting fragrance as well …!

Puttin’ on the Foil! Want some …?

Related articles

Coyote Pretty …


Want to impress a girl in Montreal?

Pick her up and take her to dinner. Gas plus a decent meal? $50.00 minimum.

Want to really impress her? Take her to a Habs game before the second week of the season while the team is still in the playoff hunt.

Ticket prices? $200.00 for a pair of Not-so-prime. Minimum…

Thirsty? Beer?

$10.00 each and depending on the weight of your date … $100.00 to have a chance of switching sports and hitting second base later in the evening.

Wait … ! Food is good to demonstrate you are up on nutrition. How’s about a nice salad for her pretty palate? That’s another $8.00 and $16.00 if you don’t want to steal from her.

So. How is the debit card holding up? Need to mortgage your mansion by now?

The total is $116.00 and the players, don’t forget, appear like tiny mice from atop the CN Tower. This price does not include parking, programs, souvenirs and tips. Add the minimum to the $116.00 – an additional $350.00 to fornicate is not bad. After all, a high priced hooker kills an hour of your time. A hockey game, sixty minutes dragged into a three hour affair.

Condoms? The best deal of the night. Free from an ugly friend or two dollars from an ugly depanneur clerk. Away you go …

Another $10.00 in gas for the ride home. Total = $612.00

The solution?

A playoff ticket in Phoenix is $59.00 U.S. Your date in Arizona will pay the rest.

You are Canadian …

Dale Hunter Resigns – Great for Hockey!


Dale Hunter stepped aside as coach of the Washington Capitals.

The reason? Egos and politics …

Hockey – Too Political?

Dale Hunter as a player did not enjoy B.S.

To discover this – YouTube his hit on Pierre Turgeon. A horrible after-the-fact body check from the former Capitals’ player. Turgeon scored the winning goal and moments later, Hunter almost killed the Islanders’ sniper.

Why?

Because Turgeon was a sissy. A prima Donna. A man whose nickname was ‘tinman’ – a monicker given because of Turgeon’s lack of heart.
If there is one thing guys like Hunter do not enjoy, lack of heart is it.

When Hunter separated Turgeon’s shoulder and received a 21 game suspension, the Petrolia,Ont native saw red. Not only did Turgeon score against his team, in Hunter’s mind – Pierre scored against Hunter’s manhood. Anyone aside from Turgeon, anyone who carried a big stick and did not walk softly – would have scored and skated into victory. If a man scored, in Hunter’s view of things, all is good. If ‘Wendy’ tallied a marker … Into the boards and hospital she must go.

The Washington Capitals have a few Wendys. Far too many players do their ballerina act on the ice. The ones who bring grit on the ice – act like Wendy off the ice. Does Hunter need or want this?

As coach and co – owner of the London Knights, Hunter can form players into mini – me’s. Little Hunter- esque clones that may one day clobber little Turgeons. Something that is in his hands, something he may control.

The NHL, with it’s celebrity hockey stars, stratosphere contracts and me generation mentality – is not Dale Hunter’s Father’s league.

Hunter’s blood pressure must have rocketed to Ovech – kian heights behind the Caps bench. He could not bodycheck his players and he could not take the ice and body check the Rangers or the Bruins.

It is better for Hunter to return to junior hockey. The players can be formed and taught to be tough. Hunter was a great player and although prone to questionable decisions – a tough customer with heart …

In the NHL there are too many egos and politics. There are too many discrepancies with the officiating.

There are too many Turgeons …

Spooky is as Spooky Does. The Man behind the Flyers’ Goalie Curse.


If a Flyers’ fan or player did not believe in goalie curses before – they sure do now!

In last night’s series ending loss to the New Jersey Devils, the way the Flyers went down in defeat was downright spooky. Scary. Hand – wrenching, white knuckles kind of stuff …

Hitchcock – ian …

For days, years and decades – Philadelphia iced a good hockey squad. A roster often unmatched, whether it was under the watchful eye of Ziegler through Bettman. Year after orange, black and white season – every player on the Philly roster poured their sweat and blood toward winning the Stanley Cup. Every player except whoever happened to be in between the pipes.

That’s not to say the padded ones did not try. Au contraire mes freres! The net minders gave their all.

Robbie Moore, the diminutive goalie from Sarnia, Ontario – putting all of his 5′ 5″ frame in front of hundred mile an hour snapshots in 1979. Posting an impressive 5-0 shutout in his Flyers’ debut. Moore went on to play four more regular season games with Philadelphia that season. He posted two shutouts and finished with a 1.77 G.A.A.

He would match his season total in games played in the post season. Unfortunately, his goals against soared to 4.03 and the Flyers’ were bounced in the second round by the Rangers.

Moore never to play goals in Philly again … Moore never to play in the NHL again …

Legend has it – Mr. Moore was prone to nerves. Tossing his cookies before, frequently during and occasionally after games. An anxious goalie makes a strange crease fellow. An anxious goalie makes a mess!

Was Moore victim number one of the curse … ?
More importantly – who is responsible for the curse?

Curse History

The Flyers won back to back championships in the mid – seventies. One of the reasons, and a very big one – was the play of goalie Bernie Parent.

Parent backstopped a young, some say ‘ too violent’ Flyer squad to victory over the Boston Bruins in 1974 and the following season as well. Aside from this ‘championship roadblock’, the Flyers’ journey has been filled with many, often peculiar ‘bumps in the road’.

The Origin of the Curse?

The Curious Case of Michel Belhumeur

What’s in a name?

Everything if you happen to be have been in goals for the Washington Capitals during the 1974- 1975 and 75- 76 seasons. For part of it anyway…

Micheal ( Michel ), translated his play into a 0 – 29 – 4 record with a goals against average of 5. 34 during his two and only seasons with the hapless Caps. These stats made him part of hockey history and wrongly translated his name to what the goalie from Sorel, Qc must have felt; ‘ill humor’ in lieu of the direct translation; ‘ good humor’!

What does this have to do with the Flyers?

M. Belhumeur was drafted by the Flyers in 1969. He was their 40th overall pick. Following stints with the Quebec Aces, Charlotte Checkers and Richmond Robins – the 5’10″ Virgo was called up to the Flyers during the 1972-73 season.

In goals for 23 games, the rookie posted a respectable 9-7-3 record with an admirable 3.22 ‘rookie’ G.A.A. For his troubles, he was returned to Richmond for the following season and his career as a Flyer net minder was over.

The Philadelphia organization exposed Belhumeur in the 1974 expansion draft and he joined the Washington Capitals’ organization. According to reports – Michel was agitated with the Flyers for giving up on him. Were Michel’s temperament and subsequent ‘words’ responsible for a curse in Philly … ?

Maybe it was a combination of his and teammate Bill Clements’ departure to Washington?

The Origin of the Curse?

Bill Clement

Along with players such as Bobby Clarke, Bill Barber and Reggie Leach – Clement was an integral part of the Flyers’ championship teams. As one of the ‘Broadstreet Bullies‘, the Buckingham,Qc.native reached his potential during the 1974-75 season.

On the heels of a nine goal season the year before – Clement notched 21 goals as the Flyers picked up the Stanley Cup for the second straight year. Along with many of his teammates, Clement savored the win over the Bruins as his favorite and once more – along with several teammates, looked forward to a third straight Cup.

Clement never had a chance to fulfill his dream.

Like Bonhumeur; Bill ended up with the Capitals following the amateur draft. Clement was traded for the rights to Mel Bridgeman. In Washington, despite having his most prolific season, the
6’1″ bruising power – forward skated with a grudge against Kate Smith’s non- choirboys.

Could it really have been Clement who has cursed the goalies in Philadelphia? How could a man whose work consists of doing voice – over work and acting be the villain of Voodoo in the city of brotherly love? As one of the voices in the popular EA Sports’ NHL video games from 2006 inclusively to a Philadelphia Flyers’ seasoned broadcaster, surely he is in position to ‘reverse the curse’.

A curse Guy Lafleur’s former centerman in Thurso may have inadvertently placed on his alma mater when he was dispersed to Washington in 1975.

You see – Bill Clement started playing hockey at the age of eight.

As a goalie

Whose Birthday Is It?


Just how old are you?

As we age and get older
Some saves become harder to do
But no one knows this near as much
As poor decrepit you

“How old are you” comes the question
And you simply let out a drawn out sigh
It’s not from a goal or a bad mood
It’s just so hard to count that high

If your age was a G.A.A
You would be an American League man
If your age was a bank account
You’d be the poorest in crease land

If your age was your save percentage
You’d be suffering from a stroke
If your age was the number of shots each game
Your team – a pretty old joke

If your age was your goalie pants size
No pads would ever fit
If your age was a back -up
He would be so slow he would get sh*t

But forty isn’t really all that old
You have way more future than you have past
Your body may be slowing down, that’s true
But, relax, your glove  was really never fast

 Happy Birthday Martin Brodeur!

( p.s Call Kid Mercury for your party ! )

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