Molson in Meetings – Roy Out?


Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or something like that …

According to a source, Montreal Canadiens’ owner Geoff Molson has spent almost the entire past two weeks behind closed doors.

High – security type stuff.

One man is conspicuous with his absence. That man’s name is Patrick Roy.

According to someone whose job allows a view of such comings and goings …Roy of Rempart fame has visited the least amount of times compared to other coaching camdidates. What does that mean?

Depending on a person’s passion, rational thinking and the amount of beers digested after dinner – Roy’s resting in Ste. Foy could dIctate a number of possibilities …

Molson and newly- appointed G.M. Bergevin, may have hired their coach a while ago. These ‘cloak and hockey stick’ meetings – an opportunity to solve different issues. Small matters such as what train to place Scott Gomez on, how to keep Grigorenko away from future KHL visitors and Carey Price far as possible from buckin’ broncos …

For argument’s sake, if Patrick or anyone else has been hired as the Habs’ new leader; why allow a distraction when important issues such as draft day approaches. Especially if their man is Roy. The phone would be ringing more often in Molson and Bergevin’s office than a pleasant pizza joint with a half- priced pepperoni pizza on sale.

Who needs that when Rene Bourque is AWOL and Tomas Kaberle added an offspring to the world who just may grow into another … well, Kaberle!

L’absence de Roy could also imply the team is still looking for the perfect candidate to raise the team to new heights. Although, no candidates have passed before Molson in person for at least a week.

Could Bergevin and Molson be smarter than your average Belarusian brother? Are they speaking to their new coach via Skype? Plotting strategy and making a draft plan to suit the new bosses’ needs … ?

Given the Montreal Canadiens’ recent success with a ‘tight- lipped’ mentality, a fan of the team can only hope for one thing;

Silence is golden …

Top Ten ‘ Things to Do ‘ List for Marc Bergevin


Les Canadiens de Montreal announced after many days of agonizingly slow speculation – Marc Bergevin is the new G.M of the hockey club.

Bergevin’s job will not be easy.

He grabs the reins of a franchise that need to rebuild their on – ice as well as their off – ice product. The organization has also taken many blows to their image. A fact that leaves the new G.M with plenty to do.

Thanks to some spies, here now is a copy of Marc Bergevin’s top ten things to do list;

10. Revoke Pierre Gauthier’s grandmother’s press pass.

9. Send Youppi for a makeover session. His hair colour? Top priority.

8. Elevate Bob Gainey‘s retired number a little higher to the rafters and – in turn … out of the general public’s sight lines.

7. Cancel monthly payments on Scott GomezAnthony Robbins motivational tapes.

6. Paint the exterior of the Bell Center a more friendly, ‘ welcoming ‘ shade of blue.

5. Find out how tall Brian Gionta really is …?

4. Make room in garage for the Molson beer delivery that is arriving on Monday.

3. Using Chicago connections – find out if Chris Chelios holds a grudge and if not, does he still have interest in playing?

2. Those kids that skate around just before the Habs take the ice? Call their parents and instill a 5 pm curfew.

Finally, upon seeing the work that lay before him, Marc Bergevin’s number one ‘ thing to do ‘ ?

1. Call Stan Bowman to see how far the bridge was burned behind him!

Rick Keene’s Top Ten Montreal Canadiens’ Goals


I am forty – six. My memory is somewhere in the neighborhood of thirty – five.

In the time I have been a Montreal Canadiens’ fan – there have been at least ten goals the team has scored that stand out in the archives of my mind.

Thanks to Kevin from Habs Eye on the Prize for asking me for the list.

Please visit his outstanding site. In the near future – lists and memories from many sports personalities in Montreal will be added to his site …

Without further ado; here are my top ten Montreal Canadien goals!

10. Alexei Kovalev – February 19, 2008

After surrendering five straight goals to the Rangers, the Habs seemed to have dug a hole that promised to get bigger. The match was half over and a five goal deficit equaled disaster and embarrassment. Then something happened. One goal led to another and as quick as a startled bird departs a telephone wire – the Habs tied the game. To add dramatic effect for upcoming highlight reels; Kovalev netted the winner and ended up on his backside, legs in the air, as the Canadiens capped off the biggest comeback in the team’s history.

9. Chris Nilan – 1989 Flyers – Habs

Nilan’s goal was not a game winner. Nilan’s goal was not important in a game the Habs led 3 – 1 in the third period. What made Knuckles goal a notch in my memory was the way he did it. A fighter – not known for his scoring prowess, Chris took a Larry Robinson pass and skated alone on a breakaway. Channeling Guy Lafleur, Knuckles deked the Flyers’ goalie and easily placed the puck in the net. It was a defining moment. It was Chris Nilan sending a statement; ” I can play hockey too … Ya know !”

8. Eric Desjardins – 1993 Stanley Cup finals against L.A.

The game will be remembered for two things; Marty McSorley‘s illegal stick and Eric Desjardins. The Habs’ defenceman scored probably the Habs’ most important goal in their improbable run to the Cup. The Kings and McSorley were penalized with under two minutes to go in the third period. A Los Angeles victory would have sent them home with a 2-0 series lead. Habs’ coach Jacques Demers pulled goalie Roy and Desjardins scored the equalizer from atop the face-off circle. The Forum went absolutely nuts as the teams headed to overtime. Desjardins scored the winner in the extra period to become the only defenceman in NHL history to net a hat trick in the playoffs as the Habs won 3 – 2!

7. Jean Beliveau – His 500th goal.

On February 11, 1971 – M. Beliveau netted the 500th goal of his career. I was six years old and I remember it like yesterday. There was not a televised Habs’ game that I missed on television – before the days of five games a night on any given channel. Beliveau’s goal was my first recollection of feeling proud. He was my Montreal Canadien and the numbers ‘ 5-0-0 ‘ flashed on my t.v. screen in ( at the time ) ‘ state of the art ‘ graphics. His feat re – enforced my idea of becoming a hockey player and the next 500 goal scorer for the Habs.

6. John Leclair – 1993 Stanley Cup finals against L.A.

The teams were in Los Angeles tied at one game apiece. The series and Cup could have gone both ways. Once again – the pair of finalists headed to overtime, a domain ‘ owned ‘ by the Canadiens in this playoff year. John Leclair, the Vermont native with the French name – took matters onto his own stick and scored the winner just :34 into the extra time.Another miracle in the Habs’ miraculous run!

5. John Leclair – 1993 Stanley Cup finals against L.A.

Following his heroics in game three – Leclair once more scored the winner in overtime in game four. This feat made him the second player in history ( aside from Rocket Richard )to score two overtime goals in the finals. Leclair left his mark in Montreal forever …

4. Claude Lemieux – 1986 Adams Division finals against Hartford

Overtime game seven. The teams displayed the prowess of two heavyweights battling for a title fight. Back and forth the series went. No team gathering control. The Habs were filled with rookies and did not seem quite sure of their identity. Lemieux grabbed the puck behind the net and headed to the hash marks. Turning, he seemingly ‘willed’ the puck with a backhand over goalie Mike Liut’s left shoulder. The goal not only sending the Habs to the next round ( and eventual Cup ), it was the goal that instilled confidence in the young team. A turning point for many Habs’ rookies like Roy and Lemieux.

3. Brian Skrudland1986 Stanley Cup finals against Calgary

Mike McPhee and Brian Skrudland were the modern day Mario Tremblay and Doug Riseborough on the Habs in the mid to late eighties. No two players worked harder at checking the other team’s top lines while adding an offensive punch. All that hard work paid off as McPhee and Skrudland headed into the Calgary zone on a two- on- one. A play that sent Skrudland into the history books. It was game two in Calgary. The Habs startled the Flames by competing after being dominated 5- 2 in game one. McPhee poked – checked the puck at center, sending him and Skrudland toward Mike Vernon, the Flames’ goalie. McPhee orchestrated a perfect pass to Skrudland and Brian tapped the puck in just nine seconds into overtime. The fastest overtime goal in NHL history and the Habs won the next three games to bring home their twenty – third  Stanley Cup.

2. Scott Gomez – February 9, 2012

I remember where I was when John Lennon was shot and killed. I will always remember where I was when Scott Gomez scored his first goal in over a year. Why is this number two on the list? Because the goal, contrary to all the other goals – is a symbol in my mind to the lowest point in my memories of the Canadiens’ franchise. Any moment in history is defined by good and bad. Gomez’ goal the most famous of the infamous. A story that will be told to generations to come. The day Scott Gomez earned his seven million dollar salary.

And the number one Montreal Canadiens’ goal?

1. Guy Lafleur – ‘ Too many men on the ice goal ‘ May 10, 1979

The Bruins were playing the Habs in another chapter of their long and bitter rivalry. The Bruins were on the verge of upsetting the Habs in the semi- finals. Up 4 – 3 with just over two minutes left in the third period; Boston got called for too many men on the ice. The Canadiens desperate for a goal and it showed. One of the most feared offences fumbled the first few shifts. Sticks were pressed a little too tight until Larry Robinson grabbed the puck and headed into the zone. Just inside the blue line, ‘ Big Bird ‘ dropped a pass to Lafleur who was skating just behind. Seventy – four seconds remained on the clock. An eight inch opening lay to Bruin goalie Gilbert’s right. Lafleur unleashed his patented slapshot. The rest … History as they say as the teams headed to overtime and a 5 – 4 Canadien victory. Lafleur’s goal the base for an Yvon Lambert overtime winner and an eventual Stanley Cup against the Rangers …

Please – send me your top ten list!

If you need a magician and an outstanding entertainer – give Kid Mercury a call! Not only will he entertain your kids or corporate party – his memories from the Forum as the Canadiens’ unofficial mascot from 1985 – 1995 will blow your mind!

Monday Q-Tip ( or how I learned to stop worrying and love Gary Bettman)


Spent the weekend shopping?

Perhaps weaving in and out of alleys ….? Looking for your dog? Cat? Drunken hamster?

Maybe – the lusty music of Barry White played in the background as your fingers explored and caressed. Every vibration from the tune’s bass sending impulses through your fingertips and onto the keyboard as porn was being browsed.

Not to worry … Here is what you missed in the National Hockey League.

East is East – West is West

( and Raffi Torres will never forget ).

Raffia Torres will appeal his suspension of twenty- five games or won’t he? This is the question and have his chances increased since Chris Neal leveled Brian Boyle on Saturday night?

The Senator hit the Rangers’ Boyle with a very similar hit albeit not as bad as Torres’ on Hossa. Neal’s hit was the same as Max Pacioretty nailing the Penguins‘ Chris Letang … Max received a two game suspension and since Neil is a somewhat repeat offender ( was fined before ), Mr. Neal should receive five games if Shanahan and the league wish to be taken serious …

Whatever the outcome, a suspension or slap on the hockey glove – the decision will give Torres some leverage if he decides to appeal. The problem? Torres has been a bad, bad boy too often. He may have used all his ‘ get out of jail for free ‘ cards and cannot collect 200 million for passing go … Not this time.

Pittsburgh – Flyers Series

See what happens when a team does not listen to their Moms? Recall the saying: ‘ walk away … count to ten … ‘? How about the phrase; ‘ if your friend jumps off a bridge will you too …’?

The Malkin – led, Crosby – wannabe Penguins played hockey the Flyers’ way and lost. No ifs, ands or Bryzgalov’s about it. Following an inspiring attemp to come back from a 3 – 0 deficit, the Pens were too banged up emotionally and physically to beat their cross – state rivals. Penguin goalie Fleury was as bad as a goalie could get in the series and why his coach played him so often – is a mystery as deep as Scott Gomez’ stay in Montreal.

This series was a lot of fun and a dreaded sense could be felt throughout the Flyers’ home in the final moments even though the home team was eliminating their rivals. Nobody likes to see a good thing end. Whoever the Flyers’ opponents will be in the next round – it will take Philadelphia a few games to get pumped.

Bruins – Caps

If this series was named after a toy; a yo – yo would be suffice. These two teams trade goals and games like a hooker on a good night. The Bruins are resilient which makes Hab fans cringe and Bostonian’s nervous. For some reason, Boston excels when their backs are against the boards. A Washington upset seems unlikely as game seven plays out in the land of Bobby Orr. If ever was a time for Ovechkin to dispel the ‘ Crosby is king ‘ rumors – it is now or maybe never for Alexander the Great. Rookie Washington net minder Holtby has played with so much poise, Tomas Vokoun may find himself on yet another team come spring 2012.

Vancouver – L.A

The Canucks along with the Sedin Sisters won the Presidents Trophy. If the trophy had been named after John F. Kennedy – an assassination was carried out true to form. Goalie Robert Luongo was killed off as the starting net minder, Alain Vigneault may have been ‘ iced ‘ as the head coach and the entire city was left without a reason to riot.

Are the Canucks quickly becoming the Buffalo Bills or the Atlanta Braves of hockey? It appears an off – season shake up will be the task at hand. Just don’t say ‘ Quick ‘ too quickly to a Canuck right now …

Detroit – Nashville

Is it a surprise the Predators dismissed the Wings faster than a bouncer dissed a minor at a nightclub? Not really … Is it a surprise the high – powered Wings scored less than a pedophile millionaire in Thailand? How do you say yes in Swedish?

Datsyuk, Franzen and Zetterburg – three guys who every team would love to have. Trios amigos who were stopped in their tracks by an outstanding goalie named Rinne. The Predators are a good team yet their net minder threw everything aside when it counted most. The Wings are in transition, much like the Canadiens of 1980 inclusively … The veterans are aging and the youth are filling their baby bottles with experience.

Time will tell if the Wings will keep their fans equipped with octopi or if they will fade into Hab or Islanders land. Jimmy Howard is no Terry Sawchuk and has Mike Babcock’s act run old in the city of Motown…

San Jose – St. Louis

Another year, another team aside from San Jose will hoist La Coupe Stanley. Why is it – season after non – festive season, do the Sharks exit from the playoffs quicker than a patron at a fire – engulfed movie theatre?

The Boston Red Sox had the curse of the Bambino. The Cubs – the curse of the Billy goat. The Sharks? The curse of Doug Wilson …

Mr. Wilson was appointed the G.M of the Sharks in 2003. Mr. Wilson once played in Chicago as a defenceman. Mr. Wilson left for San Jose and the Blackhawks have since won the Cup. San Jose… ? Not so much … The city of San Jose should blow up a puck at center ice. Exorcise the demons that reside in Wilson’s office. Re – name the squad the San Jose Goats … Anything to keep San Josians coming back to the rink. After all, before Larionov – hockey was as transparent in Wilson’s land as Pierre Gauthier was in Montreal.

That’s it hockey fans from coast to coast …

Keep your sticks on the ice, lock up your cats and dogs and remember – don’t let your hamsters drive drunk!

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The Montreal Canadiens’ Top Ten Excuses for a Dismal Season


What is happening with the Habs?

Why have they made everyone cry? What is their problem?

Who is responsible for the mess and what will be done to diminish the despair drowning the denizens of downtown Montreal?

Time will tell if the third pick of the 2012 draft in June will be the savior to this sorry franchise. Months will dictate if a quick turnaround is possible or a long, drawn- out process is required to de – capsize the sinking ship.

Les jokers … er … Jouers de les Canadiens de Montreal, cleaned out their lockers and are preparing to say ‘adieu’ for a few months.

Some – gone for good from Gainey’s former good ship.

Here now are the Top Ten Excuses explaining why the team had a dismal season; according to some of the team’s personnel…

10. The skate sharpening machine does not take 100 dollar bills.

9. According to P.K Subban; things would have been much different if he was ‘Spanish’.

8. Pierre Gauthier refused to speak English to coach Cunneyworth causing all sorts of communication problems.

7. Scott Gomez had a difficult time downloading George Laraque’s book to his IPhone. The result? Really … Do you need to ask?

6. The curse of Youppi!

5. Markov’s disappearance after Christmas? A distraction as the players had IPads on the bench and in their own words; “Spent way too much time Googling Canada 411!”

4. According to a source close to the team; Peter Budaj, upset with his limited ice- time, made it ‘difficult’ for Carey Price to watch the Country Music Awards. A sad cowboy is an unproductive goalie – so the song goes …

3. The kids holding the Habs’ flags at the player’s entrance? Kept trying to trip everyone!

2. ‘ Ever try playing hockey with all this crap going on? ‘

And the number one excuse for a terrible season?

1. PERRY PEARN was not around to give hugs …

And the Cup that will kill the Rangers’ chances of winning … ? Voila!

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Savard as Vice President of Hockey Operations ? Grooming Roy ?


If a report from Radio – Canada is true , Serge Savard will be named as Vice President of Hockey Operations for the Montreal Canadiens.

If indeed this is correct – does that mean Patrick Roy is ‘ close but no cigar ‘ away from being a G. M in the National Hockey League ? More specifically – the Montreal Canadiens’ G.M ?

Welcome to the Twilight Zone … Otherwise known as day-to-day life in the soap opera that is Montreal hockey …

Submitted for your approval ;

- Serge Savard is too old to travel from city to city as most G.M ‘s do. As a G.M in training – Roy can coach the team and fill Savard’s worn – out shoes away from the Bell Center. Savard can accompany the squad when he chooses so . The rest of the time , Serge can smoke his cigars a la Glen Sather and ( a la Glen Sather ) trade the Scott Gomez‘ of the world away while seated in his guilded office on La Gauchetiere.

- When and if Saint Patrick decides to have a tantrum , his actions will not lead to a Price or Pacioretty being dispatched to Colorado. M. Savard and his around- the- block wisdom will pause the problem and parlay the solution for Roy’s future use. Savard a mentor to the maniacal.

Of course , this being the Twilight Zone and all – Savard has denied the report and Roy has dispelled rumors of an up – coming appointment as coach.

Two negatives make a positive … ?

Damphousse Out

Former Hab Vincent Damphousse has removed his name from the back of the vacant G.M ‘s sweater and Serge Savard was disappointed. A troubling turn of events ? A sign of a Savardian slip in his old age ?

Damphousse may be intelligent as all signs are indicative of such . To be named as G.M of the Habs in another place , another time – bet the house on it. Right now , after one of the most disastrous seasons since Malakhov went skiing on a bum knee ? Not a good idea for several reasons.

- Damphousse is in the middle of an upcoming domestic violence court case with his ex – wife.

- His experience in the NHLPA should not give him the key to the executive bathroom at the Bell Center.

- He sits with Mario Tremblay on RDS . Given how the Canadiens ‘ image has taken such a blow recently , the last thing the team needs is any reason for skeptics to be skeptics.

Damphousse has far too much baggage. A carry – on bag is enough for the new G.M . My cousin Vinnie should look on from the outside as a media guy right now or – if serious about his future aspirations , drop – out from the media . Kudos to Damphousse for withdrawing his name . Anti – kudos to Molson and Savard for considering it .

Not the best time for Damphousse

Let us hope , the Habs have not committed a foul by appointing Savard as the VP , if that be the case. In a way – Savard’s appointment may limit the number of candidates for G.M .

Some men want to be the boss – period. With Savard as V.P , it makes the former Hab defenceman the boss of all bosses. The new G.M will have an asterix next to his decisions. In all his memos regarding trades – it will have to read ;

Submitted for your approval …

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Pierre Gauthier’s Top Ten Job Possibilities


The man whose nickname is ‘ the ghost ‘ has become transparent in Montreal.

The former General Manager of the Montreal Canadiens has been relieved of his duties and in turn – has relieved millions of Hab fans .

The Ghost

What is next for Pierre Gauthier ? Will he be okay?

Le Forum de Montreal has learned – Mr. Gauthier has received several employment offers and has a few ideas of his own. There is no need for anyone to fret over the well – being of Pierre …

Here now are the top ten job possibilities for ‘the ghost’…

10. Greeter at Wall- mart .

9. President of the music group Mister – Mister’s fan club.

8. Just a rumor yet he is being considered to replace Pee Wee Herman at the Playhouse.(negotiations on hold over his refusal to stay away from porn movie theaters ).

7. Bob Gainey’s neighbor in the re- make of the Home Improvement television show.

6. General Manager of the newly – formed Mime Hockey Club.

5. The lead role of Pythagoras in the upcoming movie adaptation of a play by the same name.

4. P.A announcer at wrestling matches … Let’s get ready to … Oh, never mind …

3. Stand – in for Silent Bob in the upcoming movie ; Jay and Silent Bob meet Sid the Kid.

2. Kid Mercury’s assistant ; you know … The one that gets sawed in half …

And the number one job possibility for Pierre Gauthier … ?

1. Player agent for Scott Gomez !

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Scott Gomez has a Twin …?


No need to go into details about Scott Gomez. Bottom line … ? Overpaid !

Is there anyone else on the Habs ‘ roster who gets paid a lot of money for next to nothing ?

You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension— a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You’re moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into the Twilight Zone.

Submitted for your approval ;

This man earns 15, 000 dollars for a minutes work.

This man is seldom seen or spoken to …

The majority of a hockey – mad city know less about him than a B movie actor or actress.

This man spends most of his work time sitting around and watching his teammates work.

Budaj , Weber and Desharnais - No Laughing Matter !

Greeted by empty streets, a man searches a town to find that he is completely and inexplicably alone …

A terrified man stumbles into a psychiatrist’s office, afraid that if he falls asleep a woman from his past will murder him.

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The Five Missing Elements to a Stanley Cup


They are That close … Dem Habs !?

Close to what ?

Close to a golf course …? Close to a top pick in the 2013 draft ? Of course they are close to a course. Of course they are close to a hockey version of a closer !

The Montreal Canadiens are also close to either a championship or a winning season. Once they ditch their G.M., Scott Gomez, their coach and all the little coaches that hang close – by;  the Habs can be very good if they heed the words from the band Simply Red . What is that you say Mick Hucknall ?

‘ Do the right thing … ? ‘

Gomez – ‘ Hair ‘ today …gone tomorrow !

What is the proper process to pimp this red, white and blue ride back to a prime piece of provincial pie ? Five moves. Count them … 1, 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 … Easy eh ? Five steps closer to Stanley Supremecy.  Simple stones in a structure that is strong with a core of youth. The mortar – the one absentee in an anarchy of a season …

Sit down , grab an Oreo cookie and dunk it in a drink . Decipher the decisions that will place les Habitants higher than this season’s disaster …

In order for Les Glorieux to become Glorieux once more ; Monsieur Geoff Molson should do the following ;

1. Place Serge Savard in the position of G.M.

Savard has stated publicly he does not want the job. Geoff Molson stated publicly he would not fire Jacques Martin. So much for publicly…

Serge is absolutely the right man for the job – right now !The organization is in turmoil and there is no one around from the team ‘ s storied past to settle things down. No one except Savard. His nickname is the Senator for a reason.

Savard led his team – this team, to victory as its captain. Serge led his team – this team, to victory as its G. M. Serge Savard accomplished these feats with respect. He was respected by his teammates and his fellow G. M ‘s. Mr. Savard is also a smart business man who has created a very wealthy chair in which to sit while he smokes his Cuban cigars. Who better to repair the cruise ship Canadiens than Captain Savard.

A G.M from another team will think twice before trying to pull the hockey sweater over Savard’s eyes. G.M ‘s did it to Houle ( too many times to count), they did it to Gainey ( Gomez ) and they have done it to Gauthier ( Dustin Boyd for Sergei ). They may try it on Savard yet Serge is no dummy. He may get fooled but his batting average is much better than the men who followed his tenure.

Savard also hold the respect of the current players , something that Gauthier does not. One visit from Savard in the locker room – one of the only things that may make Bourque score again. Savard also has the respect of the man who should coach the team …

2. Patrick Roy

St. Patrick has passion. The hall of fame coach of the Quebec Remparts is a winner. Who better to teach the young kids on the Habs how to sip from Stanley ‘s chalice ? Patrick Roy will instill something behind the bench that has been AWOL since Pat Burns scared referees with his red, white and blue glare. Roy has learned the ropes as a coach in the past five years and although subject to irrational outbursts ; Savard , the G.M will keep him in check . Roy would also need to surround himself with adequate coaches …

3. Larry Robinson.

Big Bird has shown interest in returning to the Habs. His contract is up in New Jersey and a return to his old stomping grounds appears immediate. ROBINSON also has the respect of players , Roy himself and Savard. Robinson is a winner and is also the best available candidate to teach the Habs ‘ young defencemen. Down the line – P. K , Emelin and Diaz would prosper under Robinson’s wise eyes. Larry ‘s presence would alleviate the pressure from the older guys. Markov and Gorges’ souls have more freedom to concentrate on their games . The other assistant coach should be …

4. Chris Nilan

Knuckles is no knucklehead. He has coached in the NHL as an assistant with the Devils for one season . He was also the head coach of the Chesapeake Icebreakers in the ECHL for one season. Nilan’s troubles off the ice were well documented which de – railed his coaching aspirations. Since returning to Montreal – Chris’ passion for the Habs is obvious. The man bleeds bleu , blanc et rouge. Again – like Roy , Serge Savard is the only man who would be able to bridle Nilan ‘s passion. A passion that is sure footed in his knowledge of how to play the game and what it takes to win.

The final piece of the puzzle is so obvious – it may be flying under the radar of everyone including ;

5. Martin Brodeur

The winningest goalie of all time is on his last goal – padded legs. Two seasons are left in this future hall of fame goalie. His contract is up in New Jersey. He was born in Montreal. Finishing his stellar career as a back – up to Price would add a spring to his step and in return – add knowledge to Price. A win – win situation echoed by the French Canadian fans who will have a Bona Fide star to carry the torch. Brodeur has worked with Robinson and again will have the respect of Roy and all the players on the team. Martin would be a ‘ fourth coach ‘ .

There. Easy as 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 …

Five simple signatures on a Stanley Cup note . Dem Habs are dat close …

© Rick Keene Le Forum de Montreal 2012

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Top Ten Signs the Habs will Miss the Playoffs


Oh well …

If it were not bad enough , the Canadien’s nemesis – the Boston Bruins, won the Stanley Cup . To add insult to injury , the Montrealers will be missing the post – season dance.

Say it isn’t so Joe Malone … ?

Aside from the lack of points – here are the Top Ten Signs the Habs will miss the playoffs …

10. Youppi’s name has been changed to ‘ Yoplait – the official drink of the 2012 – 13 Canadiens de Montreal ‘.

9. Jean – Guy ; the man who sweeps the ‘ usual route ‘, has had his broom recalled by the city of Montreal.

8. Scott Gomez is on the team.

7. RDS’ motto ; Panic !

6. The Montreal players seen texting Toronto Maple Leaf players to ask ; ” What do we do now …?”

5. Kirk Muller seen running the streets of Carolina shouting ; ” I told ya so …I told ya so … “!

4. Habs’ car flags lowered to half mast.

3. A giant ‘ for rent ‘ sign hanging around Maurice Richard statue outside the Bell Center.

2. The Boston Bruins are breathing a little easier.

And the number one sign the Habs will miss the playoffs ?

1. Someone put Gauthier in charge … !



Trade Deadline Update


Pierre Gauthier has been a busy guy …

Rick Nash, born June 16, 1984 in Brampton, Ont...

Thanks to a few ‘ spies’ , here is what Gauthier was up to yesterday as he places all his energy into improving Le Club de Hockey Canadien

9am – Places call to his tailor ( after all – it is better to look good than to feel good).

9 : 30am – Tries in vain to get Bob Gainey‘s advice regarding the colour of tie he should wear.

10:00am – Calls up the Columbus Blue Jackets and hears only laughter when offering up Scott Gomez for a skate sharpening machine

10:30am – Decides on an early lunch.

11:00am – Attempts to trade his chicken sandwich for a tuna melt . Chef laughs in his face.

11:30am – Gainey calls back and suggests black.

12:00pm – Calls up Scott Gomez and hears only laughter.

12:30pm – Misses his cab as he is distracted by angry mob outside his front door.

1:00pm – Columbus calls back asking if Subban has life insurance policy and if so – is he available?

1:30pm – Calls up Carolina to see how long Kirk Muller‘s contract is …

2:00pm – Calls up Tampa to see how long Boucher‘s contract is …

2:30pm- Calls March Recchi to say hi and see what he is doing these days.

3:00pm – Carolina calls back – Gauthier  must keep the receiver from his ear as the laughing is deafening.

3:30pm – Decides on an early supper.

4:00pm – Is denied entry to all of Montreal’s finest restaurants.

4:30pm – His tailor calls back suggesting an all black suit – you know , the kind they wear at funerals …

5:00pm – Tampa calls back – Again the laughter is deafening !

5:30pm – Calls it a day !

* Stay tuned for an interview with an iconic Montreal sports figure and Expos memories Part Two !

NHL Trade Rumors: Columbus Blue Jackets Players Preparing for Busy Deadline Day (bleacherreport.com)

Gomez Scores !


Gomez scored …!

What does everybody think right now ….?

Check it out !

Check it out !

Check it out !

Check it out !

Check it out !

Check it out !

Aw … What the heck :)

Don ‘ t believe it ? See it with your own eyes !

This is for you Scott !

Crazy eh ?

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Check out Habs Eye on the Prize , Knuckles and the Hockey Writers – they may tell you why ?

French, Gainey, Gomez and Hockey Quotes …


Les Canadiens sont ‘ all over the place ‘ …

They score they don’t score – it is a perplexing situation.

Listening to the French talk shows ( radio), all the blame of the season gone bad rests upon Mr. Bob Gainey. According to them – Gainey ( an Anglo) ruined the team by making trades that were not only bad hockey ones yet bad French ones at that.

Gainey would agree that some of the deals he made were horrible. Gomez here and Ribiero in Dallas alone were terrible. The French folks are somehow making this mess into a French – English debacle. How could we get rid of all the Quebecers? Mon dieu …!

What les French people are omitting is the reason for some of the native – Quebecer’s departure. Jose Theodore was partying too much and not being discreet about it. Pierre Dagenais and the third amigo, Mike Ribiero – ditto. Gainey had no choice to rid the team of these guys. The players he received in return – are and were busts. What GM in the league has not been burnt by players that did not live up to their potential? Out of thirty teams -
maybe Ken Holland in Detroit. That’s it – that’s all !

What the French media is also hiding is how the team got into this mess to begin with. Bob Gainey arrived as GM to a Canadien squad that was fresh off of missing the playoffs two of three years. He made them respectable again and save for this year – a playoff team. All this with Montreal teams that were snakebitten. Markov and Koivu , the team’s biggest stars – victims of the worse cases of bad luck in the NHL. Add to the mix losing the most man games to injury in 2009, Gainey’s tenure was not lucky …

Gainey took an organization that was ruined by Francophones and repaired it.

Ronald Corey ( a francophone) hired Rejean Houle ( a francophone) and Mario Tremblay ( a francophone ) to run the team. These three guys traded their star francophone and franchise player ( Patrick Roy ) away for nothing. These ‘ trois gens’ made decisions,trades and draft picks that left the team a non – playoff one for Gainey to translate into a contender. Which Gainey did even though he was dealing with personal issues ( the death of his daughter) that a person in a less stressful position would have problems dealing with.

Pierre Gauthier ( a francophone) takes over and promptly makes bad decisions. Ridding the team of two veteran defenceman ( Spacek and Hamrlik) , signing Markov to a multiple – year
deal and not having the balls to send Gomez to Hamilton. To name a few …

Star players ( francophone or not ) , do not want come and play for Montreal because of the annoying French media. Lecavalier, St.Louis and Gagne. Just three of the many francophones who would rather tan under the American soleil than bask in the Canadien’s limelight.

The French media are correct. It is a French – English thing. Now they must look in the mirror and sign up for Englsh classes. After – all , it is the Anglophones that have won the most Cups in management positions in Montreal.
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You gotta feel for Scott Gomez.

Bed Time for Bonzo ?

Carey Price is right when he says that his teammate is human and deserves encouragement right now. It is not Gomez’ fault that Sather inked him to a huge contract and Gainey took it on. Everyone down to a gas station employer would have signed a larger contract knowing well that he / she would be overpaid.

Gomez , to relieve the pressure, should come out and say publicly that he is not worth the cash and take a pay cut. Something, anything to relieve the pressure so he can enjoy the game again.
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On a lighter note …..

“Hockey is the only job I know where you get paid to have a nap on the day of the game – Chico Resch
”We take the shortest route to the puck and arrive in ill humor.” – Bobby Clarke
”You miss 100% of the shots you never take.” – Wayne Gretzky
”I don’t like hockey. I’m just good at it.” – Brett Hull
”Playing goal is like being shot at.” – Jacques Plante
”I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.” – Wayne Gretzky
“”Half the game is mental, the other half is being mental.” – Jim Mckenny
If you’ve only got one day to live, come see the Toronto Maple Leafs. It’ll seem like forever. ” Unknown.
“I can’t hear what Jeremy is saying, my two Stanley Cup rings are blocking my ears.” Patrick Roy.
”I know my players don’t like my practices, but that’s OK because I don’t like their games.” – Harry Neale.
”Hockey is like a disease, you can’t really shake it.” – Goaltender Ken Wregget
By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series.  ~Steve Rushin
How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo?  ~Jacques Plante
Street hockey is great for kids.  It’s energetic, competitive, and skillful.  And best of all it keeps them off the street.  ~Author Unknown

English: Wayne Gretzky Drive roadsign.

Image via Wikipedia

Don’t go through life without goals.  ~Hockey Saying
All hockey players are bilingual.  They know English and profanity.  ~Gordie Howe
I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.  ~Rodney Dangerfield
We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don’t even have to go to the hospital.  ~Brad Park
“When I was a kid, I used to pray the Lord to make me a Hockey player. But I forgot to mention the NHL, so I spent 16 years in the minors!” Don Cherry
“In Canada, you’re not a hockey player until you’ve lost some teeth.”
Andy Bathgate

Go Habs Go !

A Special Anniversary


Everyone ! Quick !

Run to the corner store, the local corporate entity(aka Wall – Mart ) or anywhere that sells paper goods. Purchase stationery, paper plates or plans d’etude. It does not matter what you bring home in your official Canadiens de Montreal shopping bags as long as you bring it home before the 5th of February , 2012.

As your Mom or Grandmother will remind you – a gift made from paper is the present of choice when celebrating a one year anniversary. Unless you are a denizen of the modern-day United States of Gingrich. Then, of course, a ‘ cadeaux ‘ of the ticking sort would be appropriate . There is no better way to celebrate one year than to keep track off all 31536000 seconds that have passed on your brand new clock or watch.

That way you can discover in a non-leap year, there are 525,600 minutes in a year.That is roughly 263,300 boiled eggs you can eat with your Gordie Howe commemorative fork. Go ahead wash them down with orange juice straight from your Maurice Richard commemorative glass. Just think – in one year , a complete bible reading can take place online. Separated into segments so your daily sins can run their proper course.

In England, cotton is the gift for the person, place or thing that has survived 365 days to see another hockey game. Cotton swabs, cotton – tailed rabbits or just plain run – of – the – mill cotton will be suffice as a gift.

So – just what is the reason for such a topic? Who, what, where and why is Le Forum de Montreal pre – occupied with such a monumental moment?

Before I fill the blanks on your curiosity cheque , here are some of the things that take a year to do …

- A formerly married couple must live apart for one year before they may proceed with a divorce.. For some – a very, very long time !

-An Ostrich Hen lays on average 60 eggs in one year. ( unless the male Ostrich uses condoms).

-Light travels 9.5 billion kilometers.

Mind – boggling statistics to say the least !

Considering all of the above , use the paper and write a note to the Montreal Canadiens ‘ Scott Gomez … Wish him well on his one year anniversary !

Before he can answer – place the cotton in his mouth and point to the clock that is ticking quickly on his future.

Ladies , gentlemen and Milan Lucic – on February 5 th , 2012 , it will be one year since Scott Gomez scored a goal

'Sheesh ' the day ... ?



Where Are They Now ? Part One


Logo used (1917-19, 1921-22)

Image via Wikipedia

Le Forum de Montreal has decided to look up some of the hockey players that are not playing hockey for the Montreal Canadiens anymore. Just to see  what they are up to …?

These players were once embedded deep in out hearts and were an intricate part of our daily lives. Why forget about them after all that …?

Some have been hard to find while others – as easy as stopping a Rick Green snapshot ! This is who we have discovered so far …

The Players

 
Andrei Kostitsyn 
 
Andrei fell on hard times once he stopped skating for le bleu, blanc et rouge. Due to his monthly payments to the Russian mob – Andrei was forced to move in with his brother Sergei in Nashville. Following several fights related to his absolute disliking of country music – Andrei has been allocated to taking out the trash while he serves the remaining time in his house -arrest sentence. Unfortunatley for Andrei , his state-of-the-art toupee will have to wait due to financial reasons.
 
Lars Eller
 
Eller was able to grab a job at the local Tim Horton‘s due to his easy-going personality. The patrons that come and go at the drive through window – love hearing tales of his four-goal night. There are also rumors that Lars is making extra cash on the side selling t-shirts of his exploits as a Canadien. Eller ‘ s best customer is former Hab – Jaroslav Halak.
 
Scott Gomez
 
Scott did not have it easy once his playing career was over. He modeled hat ware for a while before landing a job in his native Alaska as a geography teacher for Sarah Palin. Word on the street is Palin gets a kick from rubbing Gomez’ head every morning for 
 ’ good luck’ ! Mr. Gomez did get in a little trouble before he left the organization and was escorted out of the Bell Center for throwing pucks at Bob Gainey and yelling …” You ruined my career you defensive -minded snot …!” 
 
Brian Gionta
 
The little American eased into his new position as an adviser for Brendan Gallagher – the Habs’s hot prospect. Brian spent a good three months helping Brendan shop for items that will help Gallagher in his NHL career. Items such as Dr. Sholl’s five inch skate inserts and  a book written by Yvon Cournyoyer titled ‘ How to survive in a land of giants ‘. Gionta is said to be pleased with his new role …
 
 
Max Pacioretty
 
Max had a very hard time adjusting to his life after hockey. He spent the better part of five years ‘ soul-searching’ in Tibet. Befriended by a little-known monk by the name of Tokyo Joe – Pacioretty found new purpose in his life teaching Joe and the rest of the monks how to play hockey. Max’s ‘ team ‘ went on to win a championship in the National Buddhist League and Pacioretty was honored for introducing padding that wrapped around the religious stanchions. No word if the Molsons are planning a court case …
 
David Desharnais
 
David was quickly recruited for work once he stopped playing. The Parti Quebecoise signed on the tiny frenchman to police the language laws in the NHL. Some of Desharnais’ duties ; making sure Vincent Lecavalier watches two hours of L’Anti-chambre every night, verifying that Gary Bettman manufacturers the proper use of the accent aigu on official documents and giving french lessons to all the Montreal Canadiens’ coaches- past and present. David also has a new video in stores ; ‘ Vive les Canadiens Libre !’
 
Rene Bourque
 
Bourque’s career ended almost as quickly as it started with the Habs. A good -looking dude, Rene caught on very quick as a dancer at Club 281 . He slipped rather eloquently into his new role as Tarzan; King of the Well-Endowed. The only downside to Bourque’s new job ? Getting suspended once a week for elbowing coworkers with bigger penises than him …
 
Stay tuned as we attempt to track down as many ex-Habs we can find …
 
Meanwhile – check out Kevin and the boys at Habs Eye on the Prize , the Hockey Writers and Knuckles Nilan. They will fill you in about STUFF !
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

You Can’t Do That in Movies ( or hockey games )


If the Montreal Canadiens erected a 2 ‘ x 2 ‘ board in front of their goal during practices – ninety percent of the time , the players would hit that board.

Puck you !

Time and again , opposing net minders arrive in town as ‘ just another goalie ‘ in a waterfrozen league. Time and again they leave, named one of the stars among the three star selections. Coincidence ? In the words of George W. Bush … ” I think not …”

Last night was an exception. The Oilers’ pipe-keeper arrived with incredible numbers in this young season. A goals against average of .099 and an off the plexi-glass save percentage of .970. The thirty-eight year old Russian is on top of his game as he leads a young and talented Oiler team atop the Western Conference. Khabibulin is standing on his mask and the Canadiens helped to both diminish and augment his numbers by shooting at his mask and not his skates.Instead of shooting high – Les Habitants aimed lower than ‘ Snooky ‘ on her knees. A site that left Khabibulin smiling with the results of both outcomes.

At least some things are pretty in Montreal

James Reimer , Ryan Miller , Marc-Andre Fleury , Semyon Varlamov and Nicolai Khabibulin. Five men who came, conquered and left Montreal with better bargaining power over their next contracts. Five men who have won in other towns but whose victories were earned with quick stick-work and cat-like reflexes. Against the skaters from Hab-ville , the wins are as easy as a freshly - divorced woman filled with wine . Bet your Gretzky rookie card , each of these guys have the next Canadiens match-up circled heavily on their calendars. Extra tickets will be required as these goalies invite everyone from their second cousins to their very first stick boys from Pee-Wee teams gone -by. Everyone is invited to come and witness their future victories against the not-so-mighty Canadiens de Montreal.

Right Turn Clyde

Clint Eastwood co-starred with an orangutan named Clyde in a 1978 movie titled ‘ Any Which Way but Loose ‘. That movie was followed by a sequel in 1980. The name of the follow -up was ‘ Any Which Way You Can ‘. Unless the Habs are willing to inject their resident orangutan ( Scott Gomez ) into the line-up and hope he starts beating the opposition with his hairy-fists , the team would best be suited to heed the second title as their motto. Don`t do it for the Gipper – do it for Clyde !

Tight is not working as the players hold onto their sticks like a trucker without brakes. If

Clint and Clyde - Box Office Success !

they ( the team ) relax their grips and realize what the critics learned about the two Eastwood films ( Clint was having fun ), maybe the pucks will start filling the net with a little more fluency. The fans and team will enjoy the nightly spectacle and the Canadiens will go on to win Oscars ( Stanley Cups ) for best picture and director. Like Eastwood , the Habs should not rest their laurels with a lifetime achievement award. Spaghetti westerns and Toe Blake have run their course. Modern day hockey is `Unforgiven` with it`s million dollar babies.

Sergio Leone ,Eastwood`s former director, could not provide a script to help solve the Habs problems. Mr. Leone did not do funerals. The best choice would be Bernard Herrmann. The orchestrater behind the music of the majority of Alfred Hitchcock films. Herrmann would be the wise decision because , like Hitchcock , the Canadiens keep everyone in suspense each game. Will the team score is as pressing a question as`Will Tippi Hedren be devoured by birds ` or `Will Janet Leigh be diced into tiny pieces by Norman’s mother.`

 Alfred Hitchcock adored killing off his blonde leading ladies and Habs management loves murdering defensive coaches. ‘ To Catch a Thief ‘ must be  Montreal`s Hitchcock movie of choice. Every goaltender around the league ‘ steals’ two points from them. Unfortunately , the Canadiens do not have Grace Kelly to console them and Cary Grant has passed to the studio in the sky.  Sadly, Mr. Grant cannot take to the ice and score.

Here a Sniper – there a sniper …

Mike Cammalleri arrived in town on one knee as a sniper. A goal scorer. Ditto for Brian Gionta and recently,Erik Cole. Entering their third seasons with the Habs - Gionta and Cammalleri ‘s productivity is heading downhill faster than Sonny Bono. Be sure , Cole’s output will be felled by a defensive tree and Cammalleri will start putting two knees down in the form of prayer. One can only hope that God is a Montreal Canadien fan as he listens to Cammalleri`s plea for goal-scoring help.

There is so much emphasis on defense in Montreal , the players play scared. Afraid of making a ‘ faux pas ‘ in their zone. Scared silly of being too creative in the offensive zone for fear of getting caught and instilling the wrath of the Elfin Martin. Is this Jacques fault ? Not much more than Carbonneau , Julien , Vigneault and Therrien`s before. The sickness comes from above and with each passing President or owner – the organization with twenty-four Cup rings preaches defense. It is what won them many championships and that is the `history` they are sticking with. Through merchandising thick and winless thin. It does not matter if Jacques Martin and his team `never get a dinner`!

This team earns more money than Brian Mulroney on a good day. They are fast becoming the Toronto Maple Leafs (everyone started to make fun of the Leafs when they had gone eighteen years without a Cup ). Every season there are highs and lows. When the team wins – they are worthy of the banners that fly above them . When they lose – Oleg Petrov is the last great skater to sport the colors and logo of the famous Club de Hockey. Whatever the outcome – the team seldom scores more than three goals and perennially allows  two. For three seasons or more – Doug Harvey`s former squad plays the same hockey game . Over and over …

Ninety percent of the time – it’s like hitting your head against a board. It’s starting to be painful ! 

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See what Kevin has to say at Habs – Eye on the Prize.

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