The Montreal Canadiens’ New Coach? Relax!


Relax don’t do it
When you want to go to it
Relax don’t do it
When you want to come
Relax don’t do it
When you want to come
When you want to come

- Frankie Goes to Hollywood

One can only hope this is the song encircling the Habs’ new G.M. as he gets acquainted to his new office in Le Centre Bell.

Aside from little things such as removing Pierre Gauthier’s signed print of the Marx Brothers from his wall, M. Bergevin must commence repairing the on-ice Canadiens de Montreal. Pronto …

Forget the off-ice stuff. For now.

Leave that to Mr. Molson – after all, he comes from a long line of superior marketers. Who else but the Molson family could get folks from Port Hope, Ontario to drink Molson Export by re-naming and bottling the same beer as Molson Canadian. A spade is a spade and a drunken Wendel Clarke fan is a drunken Wendel Clarke fan.

Bergevin may or may not have his priorities in the following order;

  1. Hire a coach
  2. Concentrate on the draft.

If the number one choice is his number one choice – presumably a logic is tossing about in his Chicago – raised, Montreal – born mind. It all depends which type of team he is envisioning in his  thoughts.

A successful squad in the NHL is basically built in three ways. A trio of options that usually lead to a parade somewhere.

  1. A balance of speed and tremendous talent on the top two lines, countered by toughness and a couple of talented fifteen goal scorers on the bottom two lines.
  2. Three lines of talent blanketed with a tough fourth line.
  3. Four lines of character with two superstars.

As for the defence …

  1. Two offensive – minded players with speed, three tough and defensive – minded defence men and two that possess a combination of both.

Goaltending …

The goalie must stop pucks at key moments in a game. The type of save that lifts his team to greater heights. There is nothing worse for a player sitting on the bench witnessing a soft goal when they are doing their best to win a close game.

A goalie’s feelings work in reverse. A soft goal more often the end result when he sees his mates not scoring when he keeps them in the game. This was part of the problem for the Canadiens in 2011 – 12.

Bergevin’s job is to understand in himself which type of team he feels can win. He must keep the pieces of the puzzle that are part of the solution and rid the current day Habs of the parts that are non – conducive to his dreams. The coach he hires must be on the same ice rink. The new guy cannot be skating in Quebec city while Bergevin and his team are practising in Brossard.

Bergevin’s Options ( according to everyone but him).

Names of possible coaches are being bandied about in Montreal as loosely as loose lips sink already  sinking CH ships.

Bergevin should consider the following if indeed some of the candidates are his candidates as well;

Marc Crawford

The last five years Crawford coached in the NHL, his teams missed the playoffs. Vancouver, L.A. and Dallas. Crawford holds a.536 winning percentage as an NHL coach in fifteen years. He won a Stanley Cup in Colorado in 1995 – 96. It must be noted – the Avalanche team that won was filled with talent. Foote, Deadmarsh, Forsberg, Sakic, Nolan, Lemieux and Patrick Roy to name a few. Jean Perron and Jacques Demers won a Stanley Cup because of Patrick Roy – they are not considered to be candidates for the current day Habs. Just saying …

Bob Hartley

Almost a mirror image of Crawford. Hartley won a Stanley Cup in Colorado with pretty much the same line-up as Crawford possessed. Again – a certain M. Patrick Roy was between the pipes. In the last six years as a coach in the NHL (Colorado and Atlanta ), Hartley’s team missed the playoffs five times. Career -wise, the Hawksbury born coach has a winning percentage of .579 and most recently coached the Zürcher Schlittschuh Club Lions in the Swiss league to a championship.

Alain Vigneault

Anyone who follows the Habs is aware Alain Vigneault commenced his NHL coaching career in Montreal. M. Vigneault is a good coach who possesses a good sense of humour ( he coached Maxime Lapierre ) and a career winning percentage of .581. In Montreal for three seasons and twenty games ( 1997 – 2000 ), Vigneault was learning his craft as his borderline .500 record attests. Recently, M. Vigneault was blessed with a very talented team in Vancouver. A Stanley Cup finalist last season and a somewhat surprising exit in the first round this year. Does his stint in Vancouver and his gained experience allow him a return to Montreal? There are no Sedins in Montreal. Just sayin’…

Michel Therrien

Like M. Vigneault, Therrien started his career in Montreal and parted with a .500 record. He then went to Pittsburgh where he had two winning seasons with Malkin and Crosby. The following season – again with a talented Pittsburgh team, Therrien was fired with a 27 – 25 won / lost record and Pittsburgh went on to win the Cup under Dan Byslema. Really, Therrien has no business being considered for the job … If you can’t win with Crosby and Malkin, where can you win?

Guy Carbonneau

Probably the most sane choice of the bunch. He is the only Canadiens’ coach to gain over 100 pts in the past 18 seasons in Montreal. Very popular with the fans in the city and what could be his downfall – also allegedly very popular with the clubs around Montreal as well. He is associated with Bob Gainey which is bad yet he is no longer speaking to Bob Gainey which is good if he hopes to regain the coaching job. Bergevin and Carbonneau played their youth hockey in Quebec and come from the same era. This may help Guy get the job. Sheesh – the guy won with Kovalev on the team! Credit is due …

Patrick Roy

If a vote was held tomorrow in Montreal for a new mayor – Patrick Roy would get the job and he is not even a politician …

If M. Roy did not possess a winning attitude, M. Hartley, M. Crawford and M. Perron would not be Stanley Cup winning coaches. His ego and winning attitudes are legendary and dangerous. Roy wins when he can control situations and loses when he cannot. To be named as a rookie head coach in Montreal, Bergevin must understand Roy’s intentions. Roy must commit to Montreal and not have his heart in Quebec. Roy and Bergevim must also come to a very strict understanding about who is boss and where.

As an opponent and journeyman – Bergevin is well aware of Roy’s reputation. He probably knows better than anyone in the Habs organization the real stories of Roy. The ones the Habs were not privy to. Roy’s passion is what the Habs require – Roy’s passion is what the Habs do not need right now. Good luck Marc Bergevin …

The Result?

The great thing about Bergevin being hired is the fact he has never been part of the Canadiens’ organization. He has a mind of his own that was formed outside of the madness.

M. Bergevin did not arrive in Montreal and think about taking the job without ideas in his head. These ideas were talked about in his meeting with Molson and Savard. The Habs’ brass obviously enjoyed listening to Bergevin or else the Hawks’ former assistant G.M would be walking in the Windy city right now with his wife.

He could fool everyone and bring in some guy who is not on the top of the gossip lists in Montreal.

Someone like Joel Quenneville …?

Shooting stars never stop
Even when they reach the top
Shooting stars never stop
Even when they reach the top

Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Top Ten ‘ Things to Do ‘ List for Marc Bergevin


Les Canadiens de Montreal announced after many days of agonizingly slow speculation – Marc Bergevin is the new G.M of the hockey club.

Bergevin’s job will not be easy.

He grabs the reins of a franchise that need to rebuild their on – ice as well as their off – ice product. The organization has also taken many blows to their image. A fact that leaves the new G.M with plenty to do.

Thanks to some spies, here now is a copy of Marc Bergevin’s top ten things to do list;

10. Revoke Pierre Gauthier’s grandmother’s press pass.

9. Send Youppi for a makeover session. His hair colour? Top priority.

8. Elevate Bob Gainey‘s retired number a little higher to the rafters and – in turn … out of the general public’s sight lines.

7. Cancel monthly payments on Scott GomezAnthony Robbins motivational tapes.

6. Paint the exterior of the Bell Center a more friendly, ‘ welcoming ‘ shade of blue.

5. Find out how tall Brian Gionta really is …?

4. Make room in garage for the Molson beer delivery that is arriving on Monday.

3. Using Chicago connections – find out if Chris Chelios holds a grudge and if not, does he still have interest in playing?

2. Those kids that skate around just before the Habs take the ice? Call their parents and instill a 5 pm curfew.

Finally, upon seeing the work that lay before him, Marc Bergevin’s number one ‘ thing to do ‘ ?

1. Call Stan Bowman to see how far the bridge was burned behind him!

Pierre Gauthier’s Top Ten Job Possibilities


The man whose nickname is ‘ the ghost ‘ has become transparent in Montreal.

The former General Manager of the Montreal Canadiens has been relieved of his duties and in turn – has relieved millions of Hab fans .

The Ghost

What is next for Pierre Gauthier ? Will he be okay?

Le Forum de Montreal has learned – Mr. Gauthier has received several employment offers and has a few ideas of his own. There is no need for anyone to fret over the well – being of Pierre …

Here now are the top ten job possibilities for ‘the ghost’…

10. Greeter at Wall- mart .

9. President of the music group Mister – Mister’s fan club.

8. Just a rumor yet he is being considered to replace Pee Wee Herman at the Playhouse.(negotiations on hold over his refusal to stay away from porn movie theaters ).

7. Bob Gainey’s neighbor in the re- make of the Home Improvement television show.

6. General Manager of the newly – formed Mime Hockey Club.

5. The lead role of Pythagoras in the upcoming movie adaptation of a play by the same name.

4. P.A announcer at wrestling matches … Let’s get ready to … Oh, never mind …

3. Stand – in for Silent Bob in the upcoming movie ; Jay and Silent Bob meet Sid the Kid.

2. Kid Mercury’s assistant ; you know … The one that gets sawed in half …

And the number one job possibility for Pierre Gauthier … ?

1. Player agent for Scott Gomez !

————————————-


The End of Gauthier ‘ s Tale …


A vain Pierre Gauthier who cares for nothing but his appearance and attire -  hires two tailors who are really swindlers. They promise him the finest , best suit of clothes . The fabric is invisible to anyone who is unfit for his position or ” just hopelessly stupid “.

The ‘ Ghost ‘ cannot see the cloth himself ;  he pretends that he can  - for fear of appearing unfit for his position. His ministers do the same. When the swindlers report the suit is finished ; they mime dressing him and Pierre Gauthier then marches in procession before his subjects. The subjects  play along with the pretense. Suddenly, a child in the crowd ,too young to understand the desirability of keeping up the pre tense – blurts out that Gauthier is wearing nothing at all and the cry is taken up by others.

Pierre Gauthier cringes –  suspecting the assertion is true, but holds himself up proudly and continues the procession.

Until now …

June 17, 2010: Trades Jaroslav Halak to the St. Louis Blues for Lars Eller and Ian Schultz.

June 23, 2010: Signs UFA Tomas Plekanec to a six-year, $30-million deal.

June 29, 2010: Trades Sergei Kostitsyn and future considerations to Nashville for Dan Ellis, Dustin Boyd and future considerations.

Sept. 2, 2010: Signs RFA Carey Price to a two-year, $5.5 million deal.

Dec. 28, 2010: Acquires James Wisniewski from the Islanders in exchange for 2011 second-round and 2012 fifth-round picks.

June 24, 2011: Signs Andrei Markov to a three-year, $17.25-million deal.

June 29, 2011: Trades Wisniewski’s rights to Columbus for a 2012 fifth-round pick.

July 1, 2011: Signs Erik Cole to a four-year, $18 million deal.

July 23, 2011: Signs Josh Gorges to a one-year, $2.5 million deal.

Dec. 9, 2011: Traded Jaroslav Spacek to Carolina for Tomas Kaberle.

Jan. 1, 2012: Signs Gorges to a six-year, $23.4 million deal.

Jan. 12, 2012: Traded Michael Cammalleri to Calgary for Rene Bourque.

Feb. 17, 2012: Traded Hal Gill to Nashville for Blake Geoffrion and a 2011 second-round pick.

Feb. 27, 2012: Traded Andrei Kostitsyn to Nashville for a 2013 second-round draft pick and a conditional 2013 fifth-round draft pick.

————————————————————

Forget the Beer – A White Russian Please …?


It has been a long time since the Montreal Canadiens got drunk. 

Sure the team , or rather – the players , are out and about partying. Sure there have been many nights when Les Habitants have been spotted in the city ‘ s clubs. Drinking, carrying on and being ‘ boys ‘. The Canadian Canadiens drink beer, the American Habs drink shots, the Europeans down wine and the Russians drink Vodka.  Following a convincing 4-1 win in Vancouver last night , the team woke up with a hangover . The  benefits of a White Russian

The Habs have had  a few white russians skating the Bell Center since their star defenceman ; Andrei Markov , disappeared into the boards an eternity ago. Kostitsyn – Andrei,  was the main guy yet in the words of ‘ The Dude ” in the Big Lebowski ;  Hey, careful, man, there’s a beverage here! “

More times than not , brother Andrei – despite his size , skated like prized china in a bull shop. Kostitsyn played like so many Russians once they were given money and cars to play in the NHL. Flashes of skill dotting intermittent flashes of brilliance spawned by special talent. This is where Markov separates himself from the мужчины (muzhchíni).

In a ten year career in Montreal, the good brother Andrei – has seldom taken a shift off. He is the type of player who loves to play hockey and tries to improve with every game. Few players in the history of our glorious sport have skated with a sixth sense. ‘ Eyes in the back of Gretzky’s head ‘ type of guys. The men who skate with NHL boys. The individuals who are above the pettiness of wondering how to skate, pass or shoot. Instead they are thinking what happens if – what happens when – what happens …?

Lemieux of the Mario kind had it. His pal in Pittsburgh – Jaromir ( move like Jagger ) had it. A Concussed Crosby hopefully still has it. The shame with Andrei Markov is that no one save for a few individuals ” got ” what  Markov had over the years in a Habs uniform.

Mr. Markov returned to the mix last night on a team that has played like a bunch of drinking boys at a frat party trying to pick up chicks.  Sometimes they hit , sometimes they got lucky yet more often than not – they went home empty-handed. One hand was what they used on too many evenings as the members of the Habs lay in their beds. Alone. Despondent. Dreams of the playoffs – nightmares of the worse kind.

Is Markov ‘s return to the Canadiens at such a time the proper decision ? Why risk an injury with just over ten games left in a season that is headed nowhere fast ? Another four months of a steady rehabilitation process surly the proper recipe for a tasty white russian ?

According to Markov himself – and any great athlete will concur ; it is time to play or craziness will set in. This is what separates a great player from the Alexandre Daigles of the world. Markov’s itchiness is the same itchiness which had him injured in the first place. Competiveness is the name for Markov’s infliction and it is something that will not go away. It is what got him to the NHL and it is what made him rise to the top echelons of the defensive core in the entire league.

Markov is making more money than an entire continent of Russian militia. Andrei is aware that pundits, fans and general managers across the league believe that Pierre Gauthier is doing crack in his high – rise office. They believe Gauthier erred on the side of crack-tion by signing Andrei to a three year deal . A huge contract signed by a limping Markov.

Markov is not playing to aid Gauthier’s public image. The thirty – four year old from Voskresensk, Russia is not playing because he has grown tired of the Habs head athletic therapist Graham Rynbend. Andrei Markov is playing because he can.

Lets hope the team continues to get drunk …

——————————————————-

Would you like to advertise on my site  …  send me a note – we ‘ ll do dinner !

keenerick@hotmail.com

Do you have a sports – related  story to tell … send me a note – we’ ll do breakfast !

Want to just do dinner … pay the bill and I am there !

Something for Nothing …


Waiting for the winds of change
To sweep the clouds away
Waiting for the rainbow’s end
To cast its gold your way
Countless ways,you pass the days

Neil Peart

At the trade deadline and in a sane world- Geoff Molson tied Pierre Gauthier to a chair and placed duct tape over his mouth. The Habs’ G.M should be shown the door in less than a month and a half. No point in Molson allowing ‘ the ghost’ one last chance to ruin his club de hockey …

Alas …

The world in which we live is crazier than placing Gomez on the power-play. Reality dictates the Montreal Canadiens remained relatively placid on trade day to keep up with tradition. Either that or the organization was so snake – bitten by the ‘ Gomez for the kitchen sink ‘ deal in 2009 – they hid their heads in the tri – colored sand.

Let it be known,the once proud organization has now deployed two Kostisyn’s into cowboy country(Nashville) and received nothing in return. First, the younger of the brothers Belarusian was sent packing for two players. One forward who Mr.and Mrs. Boyd named Dustin and a goalie named Dan Ellis.

The boy named Boyd spent ten games in the same uniform as Rocket Richard. Danny boy – d scored one goal during that time and was quickly dismissed to Hamilton. This moved him closer to Mr. And Mrs. Boyd in their home of Winnipeg which pleased the parents but not
Pierre. Boyd is now skating in the KHL – further from Winnipeg yet just as cold.

Ellis, the net minder , was in the Montreal organization long enough
to taste a poutine and get a gander at the gals at Chez Pare. Ellis was signed as a unrestricted free agent by Tampa in July,2010 and went on to incense fans with his twitter feed. Mr.Ellis is now skating with the Ducks in Anaheim and is no longer tweeting anyone …

Which brings us to Andrei Kostisyn who probably thinks tweeting is something that birds do while they fly in the sky. Soaring with a head in the clouds is something Andrei knows well as he spent the majority of his time in Montreal doing just that. A change was needed.

The Habs did what they needed to do and sent the bigger Belarusian to be with his brother in Tennesee – the home of Ernie Ford. In theory – Montreal received a 2013 second round pick ( along with a fifth round pick in the same year)for their former Russian rogue. Given the team’s history of drafting – the team will get nothing.

Nada. Zilch. Zero.

Why do the Montreal Canadiens continue to delete their extras into the trash cans of the NHL for less than the price of a good quality Pez dispenser ?

In 2008, the Habs traded Cristobal Huet to the Capitals for a second round pick. That pick went to Atlanta along with a conditional one for a over- the- hill Mathieu Schneider. Schneider, in his return to Montreal – was formidable on the power play yet floundered in the defensive zone and was finished as a Hab at the end of the 2009 season.

Would it hurt, just once , for the team to land a skater with youth in his skates and stars in his eyes? It it that difficult to trade a competent guy who has ruined his welcome for a player of the same caliber? The Habs have been bit by the Pouliot bug when they shipped Latendresse for the Ontario native with the French name. In fairness – Pouliot changed lines more often than Al Pacino in the movie Scarface. In Pouliot – the Habs knew what the guy was capable of in the NHL. In trading brother Andrei for a second round pick, the team is taking a chance. A risk bigger than Latendresse and Pouliot together.

Could Kostisyn have not been packaged with someone to collect a sure- skated player? Maybe Pierre tried. I guess it is difficult when you are tied to a chair and have duct tape over your mouth.

Yet – whose fault is that ?

Well,you don’t get something for nothing
You can’t have freedom for free
You won’t get wise with the sleep still In your eyes
No matter what your dreams may be

Niel Peart – from the song Something for Nothing

Trade Deadline Update


Pierre Gauthier has been a busy guy …

Rick Nash, born June 16, 1984 in Brampton, Ont...

Thanks to a few ‘ spies’ , here is what Gauthier was up to yesterday as he places all his energy into improving Le Club de Hockey Canadien

9am – Places call to his tailor ( after all – it is better to look good than to feel good).

9 : 30am – Tries in vain to get Bob Gainey‘s advice regarding the colour of tie he should wear.

10:00am – Calls up the Columbus Blue Jackets and hears only laughter when offering up Scott Gomez for a skate sharpening machine

10:30am – Decides on an early lunch.

11:00am – Attempts to trade his chicken sandwich for a tuna melt . Chef laughs in his face.

11:30am – Gainey calls back and suggests black.

12:00pm – Calls up Scott Gomez and hears only laughter.

12:30pm – Misses his cab as he is distracted by angry mob outside his front door.

1:00pm – Columbus calls back asking if Subban has life insurance policy and if so – is he available?

1:30pm – Calls up Carolina to see how long Kirk Muller‘s contract is …

2:00pm – Calls up Tampa to see how long Boucher‘s contract is …

2:30pm- Calls March Recchi to say hi and see what he is doing these days.

3:00pm – Carolina calls back – Gauthier  must keep the receiver from his ear as the laughing is deafening.

3:30pm – Decides on an early supper.

4:00pm – Is denied entry to all of Montreal’s finest restaurants.

4:30pm – His tailor calls back suggesting an all black suit – you know , the kind they wear at funerals …

5:00pm – Tampa calls back – Again the laughter is deafening !

5:30pm – Calls it a day !

* Stay tuned for an interview with an iconic Montreal sports figure and Expos memories Part Two !

NHL Trade Rumors: Columbus Blue Jackets Players Preparing for Busy Deadline Day (bleacherreport.com)

Derick Brassard Coming Home ?


The trade deadline blooms …

The Montreal Canadiens got a jump on things when they sent Hal Gill and a conditional 5th round pick to Nashville for Blake Geoffrion, Robert Slaney and a 2nd round pick in 2012. According to a source – Gauthier’s next move will involve that 2nd round pick.

Pierre Gauthier has  been in talk with Columbus and all indications point towards center man and Hull , Qc. native Derick Brassard coming to Montreal.

Brassard is in his fourth season with the Blue Jackets and has accumulated 133 pts in 251 NHL games. Mirroring Columbus’ disastrous season ( a season that makes the Habs appear like champions) , Brassard has managed to net 10 goals and add 13 assists in fifty games this season.He also sports a – 20 on a team that is filled with such numbers.

Derick’s numbers are a drop -off from last year when he scored 17 goals and added another 30 helpers for 47 points in 74 games. This season has seen him moved from the team’s top line to the fourth and everywhere in between – including the press box. At 6’1, 199 lbs – Brassard is a physical center man who can also play left wing. Brassard’s totals are not indicative of his talent or play. They are more a reflection of a Columbus team that is in total disarray.

Nash and Carter, the team’s two biggest stars – are rumored to be on their way out. Gauthier, along with most GM’s in the league, has been discussing the possibility of landing one of the two stars yet the price is too high and the players that Columbus would want in return are not available.Gauthier is said to be ready to deal Kostitsyn, Plekanec,Gomez, Moen, Campoli and /or Weber and a 2nd round pick for Nash. Columbus wants P.K Subban, Leblanc or Tinordi. Three players that fit with the future plans of the Montreal Canadiens and seem untouchable. Then again , The Edmonton Oilers dealt Wayne Gretzky – anything is possible.

English: Montreal Canadiens forward Andrei Kos...

Andrei Kostitsyn should be on his way to Columbus along with the 2nd round pick Gauthier received for Gill.In return, les Canadiens will receive a french – Canadian player who , at the age of twenty – five, would bring talent and youth to the ‘new ‘ Habs. A team that is heading forward with size and French in their blood .

Andrei Kostisyn’s course in Montreal has run it’s length. Chance after chance, coach after coach – Kostisyn has never been able to play consistent.A player of that caliber should be ashamed of what he has done. Andrei should be a perennial 30 goal scorer – instead , the 27 year -old Russian has grown into a big, bad , bleu , blanc et rouge weed.

It is time he is fertilized away from the garden of Montreal.

The deal makes sense for both clubs.

Habs Keep Penguins on Ice


First Detroit – now Pittsburgh.

Too bad the Montreal season cannot be fast forwarded to the play- offs. After all , it is supposedly good teams ONLY allowed into the NHL’s after-hours club.

Les Canadiens do not have problems skating with the elite in Gary Bettman’s ‘ flying circus. Game after game – the Habs either win or come very close to beating teams such as Boston, the Rangers , Canucks and Red Wings. Could Montreal be a playoff team and the only person who received the memo was the man who built the squad? Pierre Gauthier must be smiling as he stays awake scanning the Internet for Markov sightings.

If, if , if … He must be telling his cats as they prowl the living room in their red, white and blue collars.

If ….Cammalleri did not love his mirror so much – what could have been. If … Andrei Kostisyn had a heart the size of Brian Gionta – what could have been. If … Lars Eller understood a season in the NHL is longer than thirty games. If … Scott Gomez’ middle name was not If … If only Randy Cunneyworth was bilingual and Jacques Martin had some passion between those elf – like ears. If …if …if only …

As the Canadiens attempt to scrape the Huuricanes’ sh*t from their skates , the team has not
been playing bad. They are not being blown out and even in a 3 – 0 loss to the Capitals, the score was not indicative of the play. In reality , Washington won the game by a tally of one – the rest of the goals ? Bad luck and pond hockey markers. Lady Luck did not sign a contract with Pierre Gauthier over the summer – that is for sure.

Last night – les Penguins de Malkin arrived in town. Last night , the two teams entertained the crowd with a solid match de hockey. Last night , Lady Luck suited up for the Habs – if
only for one game.

" I don't want to be a poster boy ...! "

Lars ( I’ll score every ten games ) Eller , launched a wrist / snap shot toward the Penguins goalie from just outside the Pittsburgh blue line. A small child with polio could have stopped the puck yet somehow, a NHL goalie by the name of Fleury could not. For a brief second, it appeared that Lady Luck was on the bench as the puck bounced off the goal post to Fleury’s left, As Marc – Andre did his best Charlie Chaplin impersonation , Ms. Luck tossed the puck at Fleury’s rear end and it landed just behind the goal line. Last night – the Forum ghosts paid $ 220.00 for a ticket and waited for the intermission to buy their beers.

The game ended tied at two after the five minute overtime decided that kissing your sister was okay – if only for a night.

Shoot – outs are for the U.S television revenues and to ensure that hockey maintains it’s place just below The Lingerie Bowl in the big scheme of things. The 2012 edition of the 1970 ‘ s between period Showdown on Hockey Night in Canada is entertaining yet should
not decide a hockey game.

Last night it did.

The Habs won 3 – 2 after Tomas Plekanec netted a goal in the eight round and the Pens’ Jason Williams did not .

If only … Pittsburgh must be wondering .

Top Ten P.K Subban Trades


As the crucial point of the season commences – there is all kinds of trade talk.

The Montreal Canadiens are smack in the middle of these ‘exchanges’ as they cling to a shot at the playoffs. Will the team rid themselves of players such as Gill,Moen and Kostitsyn? In dismissing these types of players,the Habs could build a quality group of youth for the future.

Then again, Pierre Gauthier is at the helm so a used puck back is closer to the truth.

The reality of the Canadiens situation is they are caught in a tough position.Gone are the Smurf experimental days. Speed is part of their menu yet ‘ steak’ has replaced ‘chicken fingers’ as the team has realized that toughness is a more savory ingredient towards success.

The team requires more Erik Coles. Rene Bourque is the new Shayne Corson and if the Habs could accumulate more of these players – The Boston Bruins will be even more fearful of their division rivals than what they currently are.

There are rumors spinning around faster than a hamster in a wheel
concerning P.K Subban. He is not coachable, he is not liked by his teammates and he is too self – centered.Most G.M ‘s in the league will say straight out the Canadien rearguard’s name is never on the table when the trading cards are dealt.Most G.M’s publicly would say that
Mike Milbury did a good job. So – who knows what is up?

If the Habs decide or have decided to shop P.K around- it is not a bad
choice as long as the deal MAKES SENSE …

Here now are the ONLY top ten trades that Gauthier could make for P.K without being tied and shackled to the back of a Habs fan’s smart car.

10. To Vancouver for Kevin Bieska and Alexandre Burrows

9. To Calgary for Jerome Iginla , Ollie Jokinen and Jay Bowmeester.

8. To Edmonton for Thomas Eberle and Ryan Nugent – Hopkins

7. To Pittsburgh for Malkin

6. To LA for Anze Kopitar and Drew Doughty

5. To Chicago for Duncan Keith and Viktor Stalberg

4. To San Jose for Dan Boyle and Ryan Clowe

3. To Detroit for Franzen and Conklin

2. To Minnesota for Koivu and Clutterbuck

And the number one trade …?

1. To Montreal for P.K Subban


Where are they now? Part Four


They were loved.

They took that love and tossed it aside like the butt of a Gitane brand cigarette.

Where are they now?

Here – in this final segment of Le Forum de Montreal’s investigative report,are the remaining players and coaches that were once part of les Canadiens de Montreal.

The Players
Carey Price

Price’s cowboy ways paid off quickly. Along with ex- Flyer goalie Ilya Bryzgalov, the duo were signed on to star in the sequel to Brokeback Mountain.Two weeks into filming – Price stomped off the set in a fit of rage.Said Price when prompted for a sound bite …? ” I could handle the caressing and even the kissing.When Ilya started to tell me that my eyes reminded him of a sunset on Mars – I’m sorry , that crossed the line! That guy is just plain nuts ….” Price’s lawyers offered no comment as to his immediate future.

Yannick Weber

Weber was lost. He moved in with Mark Streit for a while yet that turned sour when Weber ate all of former Hab Streit’s Toblerone.Luckily for Yannick, he encountered a homeless man by the name of Milbury. The pair nursed one another back to emotional health when Milbury suddenlytraded Weber for an old sock and some cheese. The trade may effect the alleys of Montreal for many, many years to come.

Peter Budaj

‘Sneaky Pete ‘ Budaj was tired of being a back – up goaltender. He moved to India and became the only goalie in the Pakistan Central League. Following a fifty – two game schedule in which he appeared as the starter for both teams in every game – Peter was rushed to the hospital to treat dehydration and depression. The Doctor ‘ s advice to Budaj? ” Sometimes it is not good to wish for certain things …”

Petteri Nokelainen

The Finnish player turned to fellow country man Jari Kurri for advice following his abrupt departure from the Habs. Some may say bad luck yet Petteri’s fall into the underbelly of the Finnish mob was startling!Aside from his duties of collecting money from ex – Oiler Essa Tikanen – Nokelainen is the go- to guy for an Abba cover band.

Management and Coaching Staff
Randy Cunneyworth

Cunneyworth was relieved to be out of the pressure cooker known as the Bell Center.Because of his marine – like looks, Randy signed on with the Canadian Military. In a surprising turn of events which left the optimistic Cunneyworth at a loss for words – Randy was shipped to France and was placed as an arbitrator between the non – Francophone soldiers and the country’s denizens. His time behind the bench in Montreal made him a perfect candidate according to Stephen Harper.

Larry Carriere and Randy Ladouceur

Who cares …?

Pierre Gauthier

The ghost fled an uprising in Montreal and barely escaped with his life. Gauthier was working as a cattle farmer in Poland yet was also run out of town forcattempting to trade a cow for a duck – straight up! Reports have him living in Mexico at Graham James recently vacated apartment.

Bob Gainey

Gainey was not as lucky as his counterpart. The savage crowd took Mr.Gainey to a room in the basement of Le Centre Bell, taped his mouth and tied him to an unsold seat from the old Montreal Forum. Gainey was forced to watch each and every Scott Gomez shift as a Montreal Canadien. Insiders say that Gainey died a slow and painful death.

As usual – Habs Eye on the Prize , the Hockey Writers and Knuckles will shed some light on all things pucked – up !

———————————————————————

The Montreal Canadiens will Win the Stanley Cup


If it were that simple – Rejean Houle would be running the show …

It appears to be a new fad.

Bash Geoff Molson, bash Pierre Gauthier and bash the iconic Montreal Canadiens.Why …?

The reality of the situation is that Pierre Gauthier and Bob Gainey before – are and were two GM’ s trying to ice the best team possible. Have they made mistakes ? Bet your bleu, blanc et rouge bottoms they have. Are their misdemeanors more devastating than other teams in Bettman’s league of nations ? Aside from Detroit and maybe San Jose – not really.

The Montreal Canadiens are a symbol of hockey supremacy. They represent all that is supposed to be good in sports and life. They bring people back to a simpler time. A time when hard work, skill and devotion brought the ultimate prize. The players that skated under the banners that multiplied with each passing season gave relief. A reason to live for not just Quebecers yet people from all walks of life. If a wife left a husband or visa versa , there was always the Montreal Canadiens to warm their broken hearts.If a man lost his job and had trouble feeding the kids …there was always the Montreal Canadiens to distract his troubled mind.

If the diminutive Yvon Cournyoyer could not only compete yet shine in a league of giants – there was hope for an otherwise hopeless situation. In a harsh environment, when the -35 temperature stops the car from running …the Montreal Canadiens are there to curse, cheer and decrease the stress. If Maurice Richard could net fifty goals in fifty games – a broken radiator is not that big of a deal. If the famous number 9 could lead his team to victory – time after time , the possibility of becoming a foreman in an assembly plant seems real.These scenarios are not far-fetched or even sporadic.They continued for seventy-five years and set the bar very high for a hockey team.

As the years and hockey seasons progressed – the Canadiens have had to adapt to unfamiliar surroundings. Gone are the days when the team had the rights to French Canadian boys who grew up with Stanley Cup stars in their eyes. Gone are the days when hard working men played every shift as if it were their final one. Players today are not afraid of losing their jobs. If Mike Cammalleri had played in the fifties, sixties or even the seventies – he would have thought twice before voicing his disenchantment. Why ? Not because he would be afraid of losing his post with the greatest hockey franchise. His brain would have stopped his mouth for fear of being blackballed in a sport that used to be filled with integrity and loyalty. A group of men that instilled the proper etiquette. Kids looked up to their behavior and if their deeds were dastardly – an entire generation would learn and grow into the same type of ‘misfits’. Which is indeed what has happened .

A Honourable Trend

Guy Carbonneau was on the golf course after a disappointing exit for the Canadiens. Tired of the omnipresent francophone press and wanting to be Greta Garbo-esque, the former captain desired to be left alone to think his thoughts. Carbonneau was human . When a photographer invaded his personal space – Carbonneau did what most people might do. He flipped the ‘oiseau’. Gave the finger to the soul sucking paparazzi. In any other city or sport – Carbonneau’s actions would have been scolded and that was it. Because it was Montreal and he represented a class organization – Guy was thrown away like an empty case of Molson. Was it the proper thing to do ? Hockey wise no. For the good of young children and what the organization represented – you bet your $250.00 tickets it was. Nothing was bigger than the CH. That was and continues to be the one common denominator of the Montreal Canadiens.

Chris Chelios was not traded to Chicago because he was a bad hockey player. Chelios was dispatched to the windy city because of his off-ice antics. The Habs set the bar high yet it did not mean for their players to get high at the bar. Mike Ribiero was sent away for the same reasons as were Pierre Dagenais and Jose Theodore. Carbonneau ( not quite bright) was allegedly dispatched once again as coach from the team because of his off-ice philandering with the likes of Komasarek,Higgins and O’Byrne to name a few. It does not matter how big you are – the history and public images of the team are much bigger.

Some would say this is hypercritical. After all, the highest scoring point getter in franchise history – Guy Lafleur, was a noted partier. Some would say it is hypocritical because the Canadiens , as most corporate entities , are psychopathic in their business transactions. The entire basement of the Bell Center is reportedly filled with centennial souvenirs that were over estimated in the team’s attempt to rake in the mighty dollar. Want a commemorative Jean Beliveau diaper for your small child ? Le Centre Bell is the place to go. Ask the proper questions and you may just get one cheap. Yet can you blame an organization that wants to accumulate enough money to compete in a league of millionaires. The Habs have been penalized by the high tax dollar in the city, the province and the country. Instead of a thank you note from the city of Montreal for bringing tourists and notoriety to the city – the team instead having to pay enormous sums of money so the crooks in city hall can bring their son-in-laws to the game. Now that’s hypocritical.

In these days of salary cap madness , me-generation players and endless distractions, the Montreal Canadiens try very hard to hold the flame high in a world that is getting nuttier by the day. The people who bash the Canadiens beyond the everyday criticism of daily transactions and questionable moves are hurting. A Boston Bruin fan , a Winnipeg Jet fan or an office worker in Japan who follows hockey on his laptop are in pain.

No one wants to see a symbol of greatness suffer. The world mourns when Superman has been weakened. A collective gasp echoes through an audience of movie patrons if the Joker has Batman down for the count and seemingly ‘dead’. There are those who sincerely hate these Superheroes as there are Montreal Canadien haters. One thing that remains constant – the villains come and go yet Superman and Batman live to fight another day.

In the first round of the 1992 -93 playoffs , the Canadiens were down 2 -0 to the Quebec Nordiques. The situation seemed as hopeless as it does now. It was not just Patrick Roy, John Leclair and Eric Desjardins who won the organizations 24th Stanley Cup. It was the energy that accumulated throughout the hockey world as ‘everyone’ cheered for ‘Rocky’ to get up.

When there are that many people sending karma into the air – it is hard to keep a hero down.

It is … that simple !

————————————————————————————————-

Hockey Writers, Habs Eye on the Prize and Knuckles

C

%d bloggers like this: