The enigmatic Belarusian has been dispatched to the greener pastures of Nashville.
A love/ hate affair has come to an end …
As simple as Y's and O"s
Here now are the top ten reasons Andrei Kostitsyn will be missed …
10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.
And the number one reason Andrei will be missed ?
1.
Posted by Rick Keene on February 28, 2012
http://laforumdemontreal.wordpress.com/2012/02/28/top-ten-reasons-andrei-kostisyn-will-be-missed/
First Detroit – now Pittsburgh.
Too bad the Montreal season cannot be fast forwarded to the play- offs. After all , it is supposedly good teams ONLY allowed into the NHL’s after-hours club.
Les Canadiens do not have problems skating with the elite in Gary Bettman’s ‘ flying circus. Game after game – the Habs either win or come very close to beating teams such as Boston, the Rangers , Canucks and Red Wings. Could Montreal be a playoff team and the only person who received the memo was the man who built the squad? Pierre Gauthier must be smiling as he stays awake scanning the Internet for Markov sightings.
If, if , if … He must be telling his cats as they prowl the living room in their red, white and blue collars.
If ….Cammalleri did not love his mirror so much – what could have been. If … Andrei Kostisyn had a heart the size of Brian Gionta – what could have been. If … Lars Eller understood a season in the NHL is longer than thirty games. If … Scott Gomez’ middle name was not If … If only Randy Cunneyworth was bilingual and Jacques Martin had some passion between those elf – like ears. If …if …if only …
As the Canadiens attempt to scrape the Huuricanes’ sh*t from their skates , the team has not
been playing bad. They are not being blown out and even in a 3 – 0 loss to the Capitals, the score was not indicative of the play. In reality , Washington won the game by a tally of one – the rest of the goals ? Bad luck and pond hockey markers. Lady Luck did not sign a contract with Pierre Gauthier over the summer – that is for sure.
Last night – les Penguins de Malkin arrived in town. Last night , the two teams entertained the crowd with a solid match de hockey. Last night , Lady Luck suited up for the Habs – if
only for one game.
" I don't want to be a poster boy ...! "
Lars ( I’ll score every ten games ) Eller , launched a wrist / snap shot toward the Penguins goalie from just outside the Pittsburgh blue line. A small child with polio could have stopped the puck yet somehow, a NHL goalie by the name of Fleury could not. For a brief second, it appeared that Lady Luck was on the bench as the puck bounced off the goal post to Fleury’s left, As Marc – Andre did his best Charlie Chaplin impersonation , Ms. Luck tossed the puck at Fleury’s rear end and it landed just behind the goal line. Last night – the Forum ghosts paid $ 220.00 for a ticket and waited for the intermission to buy their beers.
The game ended tied at two after the five minute overtime decided that kissing your sister was okay – if only for a night.
Shoot – outs are for the U.S television revenues and to ensure that hockey maintains it’s place just below The Lingerie Bowl in the big scheme of things. The 2012 edition of the 1970 ‘ s between period Showdown on Hockey Night in Canada is entertaining yet should
not decide a hockey game.
Last night it did.
The Habs won 3 – 2 after Tomas Plekanec netted a goal in the eight round and the Pens’ Jason Williams did not .
If only … Pittsburgh must be wondering .
Posted by Rick Keene on February 8, 2012
http://laforumdemontreal.wordpress.com/2012/02/08/2407/
Les Canadiens sont ‘ all over the place ‘ …
They score they don’t score – it is a perplexing situation.
Listening to the French talk shows ( radio), all the blame of the season gone bad rests upon Mr. Bob Gainey. According to them – Gainey ( an Anglo) ruined the team by making trades that were not only bad hockey ones yet bad French ones at that.
Gainey would agree that some of the deals he made were horrible. Gomez here and Ribiero in Dallas alone were terrible. The French folks are somehow making this mess into a French – English debacle. How could we get rid of all the Quebecers? Mon dieu …!
What les French people are omitting is the reason for some of the native – Quebecer’s departure. Jose Theodore was partying too much and not being discreet about it. Pierre Dagenais and the third amigo, Mike Ribiero – ditto. Gainey had no choice to rid the team of these guys. The players he received in return – are and were busts. What GM in the league has not been burnt by players that did not live up to their potential? Out of thirty teams -
maybe Ken Holland in Detroit. That’s it – that’s all !
What the French media is also hiding is how the team got into this mess to begin with. Bob Gainey arrived as GM to a Canadien squad that was fresh off of missing the playoffs two of three years. He made them respectable again and save for this year – a playoff team. All this with Montreal teams that were snakebitten. Markov and Koivu , the team’s biggest stars – victims of the worse cases of bad luck in the NHL. Add to the mix losing the most man games to injury in 2009, Gainey’s tenure was not lucky …
Gainey took an organization that was ruined by Francophones and repaired it.
Ronald Corey ( a francophone) hired Rejean Houle ( a francophone) and Mario Tremblay ( a francophone ) to run the team. These three guys traded their star francophone and franchise player ( Patrick Roy ) away for nothing. These ‘ trois gens’ made decisions,trades and draft picks that left the team a non – playoff one for Gainey to translate into a contender. Which Gainey did even though he was dealing with personal issues ( the death of his daughter) that a person in a less stressful position would have problems dealing with.
Pierre Gauthier ( a francophone) takes over and promptly makes bad decisions. Ridding the team of two veteran defenceman ( Spacek and Hamrlik) , signing Markov to a multiple – year
deal and not having the balls to send Gomez to Hamilton. To name a few …
Star players ( francophone or not ) , do not want come and play for Montreal because of the annoying French media. Lecavalier, St.Louis and Gagne. Just three of the many francophones who would rather tan under the American soleil than bask in the Canadien’s limelight.
The French media are correct. It is a French – English thing. Now they must look in the mirror and sign up for Englsh classes. After – all , it is the Anglophones that have won the most Cups in management positions in Montreal.
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You gotta feel for Scott Gomez.
Bed Time for Bonzo ?
Carey Price is right when he says that his teammate is human and deserves encouragement right now. It is not Gomez’ fault that Sather inked him to a huge contract and Gainey took it on. Everyone down to a gas station employer would have signed a larger contract knowing well that he / she would be overpaid.
Gomez , to relieve the pressure, should come out and say publicly that he is not worth the cash and take a pay cut. Something, anything to relieve the pressure so he can enjoy the game again.
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On a lighter note …..
“Hockey is the only job I know where you get paid to have a nap on the day of the game – Chico Resch
”We take the shortest route to the puck and arrive in ill humor.” – Bobby Clarke
”You miss 100% of the shots you never take.” – Wayne Gretzky
”I don’t like hockey. I’m just good at it.” – Brett Hull
”Playing goal is like being shot at.” – Jacques Plante
”I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.” – Wayne Gretzky
“”Half the game is mental, the other half is being mental.” – Jim Mckenny
If you’ve only got one day to live, come see the Toronto Maple Leafs. It’ll seem like forever. ” Unknown.
“I can’t hear what Jeremy is saying, my two Stanley Cup rings are blocking my ears.” Patrick Roy.
”I know my players don’t like my practices, but that’s OK because I don’t like their games.” – Harry Neale.
”Hockey is like a disease, you can’t really shake it.” – Goaltender Ken Wregget
By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series. ~Steve Rushin
How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo? ~Jacques Plante
Street hockey is great for kids. It’s energetic, competitive, and skillful. And best of all it keeps them off the street. ~Author Unknown
Image via Wikipedia
Don’t go through life without goals. ~Hockey Saying
All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. ~Gordie Howe
I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out. ~Rodney Dangerfield
We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don’t even have to go to the hospital. ~Brad Park
“When I was a kid, I used to pray the Lord to make me a Hockey player. But I forgot to mention the NHL, so I spent 16 years in the minors!” Don Cherry
“In Canada, you’re not a hockey player until you’ve lost some teeth.”
Andy Bathgate
Go Habs Go !
Posted by Rick Keene on February 6, 2012
http://laforumdemontreal.wordpress.com/2012/02/06/french-gainey-gomez-and-hockey-quotes/
Everyone ! Quick ! 
Run to the corner store, the local corporate entity(aka Wall – Mart ) or anywhere that sells paper goods. Purchase stationery, paper plates or plans d’etude. It does not matter what you bring home in your official Canadiens de Montreal shopping bags as long as you bring it home before the 5th of February , 2012.
As your Mom or Grandmother will remind you – a gift made from paper is the present of choice when celebrating a one year anniversary. Unless you are a denizen of the modern-day United States of Gingrich. Then, of course, a ‘ cadeaux ‘ of the ticking sort would be appropriate . There is no better way to celebrate one year than to keep track off all 31536000 seconds that have passed on your brand new clock or watch.
That way you can discover in a non-leap year, there are 525,600 minutes in a year.That is roughly 263,300 boiled eggs you can eat with your Gordie Howe commemorative fork. Go ahead wash them down with orange juice straight from your Maurice Richard commemorative glass. Just think – in one year , a complete bible reading can take place online. Separated into segments so your daily sins can run their proper course.
In England, cotton is the gift for the person, place or thing that has survived 365 days to see another hockey game. Cotton swabs, cotton – tailed rabbits or just plain run – of – the – mill cotton will be suffice as a gift.
So – just what is the reason for such a topic? Who, what, where and why is Le Forum de Montreal pre – occupied with such a monumental moment?
Before I fill the blanks on your curiosity cheque , here are some of the things that take a year to do …
- A formerly married couple must live apart for one year before they may proceed with a divorce.. For some – a very, very long time !
-An Ostrich Hen lays on average 60 eggs in one year. ( unless the male Ostrich uses condoms).
-Light travels 9.5 billion kilometers.
Mind – boggling statistics to say the least !
Considering all of the above , use the paper and write a note to the Montreal Canadiens ‘ Scott Gomez … Wish him well on his one year anniversary !
Before he can answer – place the cotton in his mouth and point to the clock that is ticking quickly on his future.
Ladies , gentlemen and Milan Lucic – on February 5 th , 2012 , it will be one year since Scott Gomez scored a goal 'Sheesh ' the day ... ?
Posted by Rick Keene on February 1, 2012
http://laforumdemontreal.wordpress.com/2012/02/01/a-special-anniversary/
Image via Wikipedia
Le Forum de Montreal has decided to look up some of the hockey players that are not playing hockey for the Montreal Canadiens anymore. Just to see what they are up to …?
These players were once embedded deep in out hearts and were an intricate part of our daily lives. Why forget about them after all that …?
Some have been hard to find while others – as easy as stopping a Rick Green snapshot ! This is who we have discovered so far …
Andrei fell on hard times once he stopped skating for le bleu, blanc et rouge. Due to his monthly payments to the Russian mob – Andrei was forced to move in with his brother Sergei in Nashville. Following several fights related to his absolute disliking of country music – Andrei has been allocated to taking out the trash while he serves the remaining time in his house -arrest sentence. Unfortunatley for Andrei , his state-of-the-art toupee will have to wait due to financial reasons.
Lars Eller
Eller was able to grab a job at the local Tim Horton‘s due to his easy-going personality. The patrons that come and go at the drive through window – love hearing tales of his four-goal night. There are also rumors that Lars is making extra cash on the side selling t-shirts of his exploits as a Canadien. Eller ‘ s best customer is former Hab – Jaroslav Halak.
Scott Gomez
Scott did not have it easy once his playing career was over. He modeled hat ware for a while before landing a job in his native Alaska as a geography teacher for Sarah Palin. Word on the street is Palin gets a kick from rubbing Gomez’ head every morning for
’ good luck’ ! Mr. Gomez did get in a little trouble before he left the organization and was escorted out of the Bell Center for throwing pucks at Bob Gainey and yelling …” You ruined my career you defensive -minded snot …!”
Brian Gionta
The little American eased into his new position as an adviser for Brendan Gallagher – the Habs’s hot prospect. Brian spent a good three months helping Brendan shop for items that will help Gallagher in his NHL career. Items such as Dr. Sholl’s five inch skate inserts and a book written by Yvon Cournyoyer titled ‘ How to survive in a land of giants ‘. Gionta is said to be pleased with his new role …
Max Pacioretty
Max had a very hard time adjusting to his life after hockey. He spent the better part of five years ‘ soul-searching’ in Tibet. Befriended by a little-known monk by the name of Tokyo Joe – Pacioretty found new purpose in his life teaching Joe and the rest of the monks how to play hockey. Max’s ‘ team ‘ went on to win a championship in the National Buddhist League and Pacioretty was honored for introducing padding that wrapped around the religious stanchions. No word if the Molsons are planning a court case …
David Desharnais
David was quickly recruited for work once he stopped playing. The Parti Quebecoise signed on the tiny frenchman to police the language laws in the NHL. Some of Desharnais’ duties ; making sure Vincent Lecavalier watches two hours of L’Anti-chambre every night, verifying that Gary Bettman manufacturers the proper use of the accent aigu on official documents and giving french lessons to all the Montreal Canadiens’ coaches- past and present. David also has a new video in stores ; ‘ Vive les Canadiens Libre !’
Rene Bourque
Bourque’s career ended almost as quickly as it started with the Habs. A good -looking dude, Rene caught on very quick as a dancer at Club 281 . He slipped rather eloquently into his new role as Tarzan; King of the Well-Endowed. The only downside to Bourque’s new job ? Getting suspended once a week for elbowing coworkers with bigger penises than him …
Stay tuned as we attempt to track down as many ex-Habs we can find …
Meanwhile – check out Kevin and the boys at Habs Eye on the Prize , the Hockey Writers and Knuckles Nilan. They will fill you in about STUFF !
Posted by Rick Keene on January 19, 2012
http://laforumdemontreal.wordpress.com/2012/01/19/where-are-they-now-part-one/
Due to technical difficulties , Le Forum de Montreal will return shortly. Thank you for your patience.
Sincerely,
Rick
p.s Scott Gomez played a hell of a game Sarturday night – for once , I am at a loss for words …
Posted by Rick Keene on November 21, 2011
http://laforumdemontreal.wordpress.com/2011/11/21/stay-tuned/
Prostitution 101
I do not have a soapbox and I am not funny looking . I also know there is twelve in a dozen and no matter how much money is tossed my way – I will not become a whore to the corporate world.
I do own a broom and that enables me the power to clean up the nonsense that flows through the mouths of the so-called sports enthusiasts in the city of Montreal.
Mike Boone wrote a great column in the Gazette the other day. The subject matter was truthful and I must agree with the aged writer. Mr. Boone questioned the integrity of the talking heads on Hockey Night in Canada. Comparing the broadcasters that give us their hockey opinions on Saturday night to the glory days of the show in the 70′s and 80′ s. Boone cited the difference between current suits – P.J Stock , Mike Milbury et al to the Hockey Night alumni such as Dave Hodge , Brian McFarlane and Howie Meeker. I agree with Mr. Boone’s insights. He is right on with his evaluation of the disintegration of what was once – a national treasure in Canada.
One of the points that Mr. Boone utilized to send a knock -out punch in the form of reality was to point out the National Football League has many former Hall of Fame players and coaches as employees in their broadcasting team.
The NFL has Troy Aikman. The NHL ? Glen Healy. Monday Night Football ( the pigskin version of Hockey Night in Canada ) gives us Terry Bradshaw. Hockey gives us P.J Stock. As Boone pointed out – none of the people on Hockey Night in Canada have won anything or were they particularly good at what they did in the first place. Are hockey players that hard up for employment that the CBC feels sorry enough for them to give them jobs ? Are there qualified players and coaches out there that would do the job yet are not in dire straits ? Something tells me it is a little of both …
In between winning Stanley Cups – Scotty Bowman was once part of Hockey Night in
Respect
Canada.It did not matter what role Bowman held on the show. If he was doing play-by-play or filling the water bottles , people listened to what he had to say because he was …well , Scotty Bowman. The former Red Wings , Penguins , Sabres and Canadiens coach was a winner and he hung around with many winners. There is a huge difference listening to him describe a play than P.J Stock. Bowman was the king and Stock was the joker’s water boy. Scotty Bowman was John Wayne and Mike Milbury was the guy who swept up after the Duke’s horse.
Sadly – the ineptness of hiring ‘losers ‘ is not kept soley in the hands of Hockey Night in Canada. It appears to be an epidemic that runs rampant through hockey circles especially in Quebec.
On Habs’ game nights – I always choose to watch the telecasts on RDS. The french language station is far superior in it’s play-by-play than the other options. Forget CBC for the above reasons and TSN would be fine if the Toronto Maple Leafs happened to be my team. RDS gives a slight bias toward the Canadiens yet they are fair in their judgment of the team and it’s players during the coarse of a game. Once the game is over – my favoritism toward the French station ends. Like it’s English counterpart , the CBC , RDS ‘s post -game staff consist of hockey’s version of the Three Stooges.
Michel Bergeron ( the former coach of the Nordiques and Rangers ) never won a thing. Benoit Brunet did win a cup yet like an eighteen year old being seduced by a housewife , Brunet was ‘ lucky to be there ‘. The rest of the cast revolve with open doors as former French-Quebec players walk in looking for a job. Where is Mario Lemieux ? What about Jacques Lemaire …? I hear he is free. RDS is subject to the simple fact that successful hockey players remain successful in life and they do not need to argue hockey three times a week. CBC is in the same leaky boat. What would Milbury be doing if not for his gig on Hockey Night ? Presumably making bad trades with his hockey card collection. What about P.J Stock ? What on earth could a fringe fourth -line player that cheers for the Boston Bruins be doing for a living ? Dressing as a Bruins’ mascot on Battle of the Blades ?
Stock - Qualified ?
In the world of broadcasting , like the rest of the corporate world , brown nosing gets people places where they do not belong. Look around . On radio , in print and on-air , the media landscape is littered with idiotas. Aves that are outcasts. Flying reptiles who land wherever they can and dispel their limited knowledge and carnal insight to the masses. Sometimes they get lucky and hit the mark with their droppings. Most of the time – they come across as the out-of-touch people they are. Their followers flock and defend them because ‘ sheep ‘ cannot think for themselves.
If they could , they would come to a quick conclusion that ’ thirteen -to-a-dozen ‘ is all smoke and mirrors and what lies behind is pretty ugly and not cheap. Pathetic sycophants grasping for straws with enough knowledge to fool the masses but not the Masters.
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* Any resemblance to a person(s) living or dead is pure coincidental.
* No animals or broadcasters were used or harmed during the filming of this story.
HabsJacques Martin’s system worked perfectly against the Senators , Bruins and Flyers. Like last season – the players get bored every once in a while and rebel against it. The result ? A loss to the Rangers last Saturday. Recap
The exciting Oilers are in town tonight and will give the people spending 250 bucks a bang for their buck. If Price is on the Habs have a chance – if not , lookout !
Scott Gomez is practicing with his mates . Why should all the kids fighting for a job with the Habs take a back seat to Gomez ? He is finished and should be sent away.
See what Knuckles has to say.
Posted by Rick Keene on November 8, 2011
http://laforumdemontreal.wordpress.com/2011/11/08/keene-sweepings/
