All posts tagged bruins

Sex, Lies and Hockey Tape – Part Four


What’s happening in Tampa …?

Golden boy Guy Boucher’s star is fading fast apparently. Is it because of the debacle that took place when the Flyers mocked Boucher’s trap and refused to move the puck or is Boucher suffering from a sophomore jinx ? Losers of their past five games – Tampa’s high-scoring stars are above only the lowly Islanders and Hurricanes in points. Over-payed and over-estimated Lecavalier is the worst captain since Stubing on the Love Boat. Stamkos and St Louis cannot carry the team on their backs and if Bergeron was not a lethal point-getter on the powerplay – where would Tampa be right now …

Jacques Martin was the GM and coach in Florida. The team , under his tutelage – hovered close to the .500 mark and were playing with the final eight spot in the Eastern division. Sound familiar …? The team started out well and Dale Tallon’s master plan is sound yet it will take a while to sweep Martin’s doings away from the crease. Oh well – the players can go swimming and check out the girls in their bikinis after a loss. Fortunately for Florida – the losses are far and few between …can it keep going ? Stay tuned …

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Rick Keene’s Eastern Division Final predictions

Boston

Pittsburgh

Philadelphia

Montreal ( without Martin )

Florida

New York Rangers

Washington

New Jersey / Montreal ( with Martin )

Buffalo

Toronto

Tampa

Ottawa

Winnipeg

Carolina

New York Islanders

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The Canucks  are here to play the Habs ce soir … if all goes well , they will pummel our guys and help push Martin aside. Unfortunately, the Habs always play well against formidable foes so Martin will live to see another game … sigh

Check out what Knuckles is up to …

Kevin’s site is always cool ….

Check out Aislin’s site …

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by Rick Keene on December 8, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by Rick Keene on December 8, 2011

http://laforumdemontreal.wordpress.com/2011/12/08/sex-lies-and-hockey-tape-part-four/

In Canada – It’ s a re -Tuque not a re – Cap ! Eh …?


Merry Christmas everyone !

Santa Claus

Snow fell fast in Montreal yesterday. The powdery white stuff accumulated on the cold pavement making the score  Mother Nature 5 – Scott Gomez 0. When Sid the Kid doubles your goal scoring output in one game and icy pellets are more of a threat to incoming teams – IT IS TIME FOR HABS MANAGEMENT TO TAKE A GOOD HARD LOOK IN THE REFLECTION OF THE ICE and DISPEL Gomez to greener pastures. Scott played well against the Rangers yet even Hitler had a great day once in a while …

Habs – Bruins

When the best fight of the night takes place behind the Bruins bench and in the stands , it is a telltale sign the game was not a classic Habs-Bruins one.

Sources have informed me of the reason behind the scrap. A fan was returning from the bathroom and making his way to his seat. The young man had a step on another fan as the two men jockeyed for position. Fan number one gained a couple of strides on the second one and that is where the ‘ fun ‘ began. In the video replay – the footage clearly shows the second man pushing the first man’s head into the stanchion. It was a flagrant cheap shot. A cowardly act by the second fan. The victim lay unconscious on the floor while several of his friends came to his defense with some pushing and shoving.Noone wanted to be deemed the instigator for fear of punishment so the scuffle ended quickly. The man who shoved the head was then seen talking to his friend and motioning towards an usher .

The man’s friend then ran with great speed toward the usher who was bending down to pick something up from the ground. Head down – the usher was sent flying into the air. Glasses and popcorn littering the floor with abandon. Once more – pushing and shoving ruled the minutes yet nothing came of it for fear of punishment by the law. The two victims considered laying criminal charges against the two men yet because of the friendship between the assailants and the police , a decision was reached to walk away.

Gary Bettman must be proud !

Habs play Flyers on Friday at 3 pm ! Amazing that the Americans are able to stop shopping for a couple of hours …

Saturday Night brings Sid the Crybaby Kid into the Bell Center. Snow and Penguins … good mix !

Check out Knuckles Nilan and Eye on the Prize for some more Habs’ related stuff !

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by Rick Keene on November 24, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by Rick Keene on November 24, 2011

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Keene Sweepings


Prostitution 101

I do not have a soapbox and I am not funny looking . I also know there is twelve in a dozen and no matter how much money is tossed my way – I will not become a whore to the corporate world.

I do own a broom and that enables me the power to clean up the nonsense that flows through the mouths of the so-called sports enthusiasts in the city of Montreal.

Mike Boone wrote a great column in the Gazette the other day. The subject matter was truthful and I must agree with the aged writer. Mr. Boone questioned the integrity of the talking heads on Hockey Night in Canada. Comparing the broadcasters that give us their hockey opinions on Saturday night to the glory days of the show in the 70′s and 80′ s. Boone cited the difference between current suits –  P.J Stock , Mike Milbury et al to the Hockey Night alumni such as Dave Hodge , Brian McFarlane and Howie Meeker. I agree with Mr. Boone’s insights. He is right on with his evaluation of the disintegration of what was once – a national treasure in Canada.

Is Madden Available ?

One of the points that Mr. Boone utilized to send a knock -out punch in the form of reality was to point out the National Football League has many former Hall of Fame players and coaches as employees in their broadcasting team.

The NFL has Troy Aikman. The NHL ? Glen Healy. Monday Night Football ( the pigskin version of Hockey Night in Canada ) gives us Terry Bradshaw. Hockey gives us P.J Stock. As Boone pointed out – none of the people on Hockey Night in Canada have won anything or were they particularly good at what they did in the first place. Are hockey players that hard up for employment that the CBC feels sorry enough for them to give them jobs ? Are there qualified players and coaches out there that would do the job yet are not in dire straits ? Something tells me it is a little of both …

In between winning Stanley Cups – Scotty Bowman was once part of Hockey Night in

Respect

Canada.It did not matter what role Bowman held on the show. If he was doing play-by-play or filling the water bottles , people listened to what he had to say because he was …well , Scotty Bowman. The former Red Wings , Penguins , Sabres and Canadiens coach was a winner and he hung around with many winners. There is a huge difference listening to him describe a play than P.J Stock. Bowman was the king and Stock was the joker’s water boy. Scotty Bowman was John Wayne and Mike Milbury was the guy who swept up after the Duke’s horse.

Sadly – the ineptness of hiring ‘losers ‘ is not kept soley in the hands of Hockey Night in Canada. It appears to be an epidemic that runs rampant through hockey circles especially in Quebec.

On Habs’ game nights – I always choose to watch the telecasts on RDS. The french language station is far superior in it’s play-by-play than the other options. Forget CBC for the above reasons and TSN would be fine if the Toronto Maple Leafs happened to be my team. RDS gives a slight bias toward the Canadiens yet they are fair in their judgment of the team and it’s players during the coarse of a game. Once the game is over – my favoritism toward the French station ends. Like it’s English counterpart , the CBC , RDS ‘s post -game staff consist of hockey’s version of the Three Stooges.

Michel Bergeron ( the former coach of the Nordiques and Rangers ) never won a thing. Benoit Brunet did win a cup yet like an eighteen year old being seduced by a housewife , Brunet was ‘ lucky to be there ‘. The rest of the cast revolve with open doors as former French-Quebec players walk in looking for a job. Where is Mario Lemieux ? What about Jacques Lemaire …? I hear he is free. RDS is subject to the simple fact that successful hockey players remain successful in life and they do not need to argue hockey three times a week. CBC is in the same leaky boat. What would Milbury be doing if not for his gig on Hockey Night ? Presumably making bad trades with his hockey card collection. What about P.J Stock ? What on earth could a fringe fourth -line player that cheers for the Boston Bruins be doing for a living ? Dressing as a Bruins’ mascot on Battle of the Blades ?

Brown Nosers

Stock - Qualified ?

In the world of broadcasting , like the rest of the corporate world , brown nosing gets people places where they do not belong. Look around . On radio , in print and on-air , the media landscape is littered with idiotas. Aves that are outcasts. Flying reptiles who land wherever they can and dispel their limited knowledge and carnal insight to the masses. Sometimes they get lucky and hit the mark with their droppings. Most of the time – they come across as the out-of-touch people they are. Their followers flock and defend them because ‘ sheep ‘ cannot think for themselves.

If they could , they would come to a quick conclusion that  ’ thirteen -to-a-dozen ‘ is all smoke and mirrors and what lies behind is pretty ugly and not cheap. Pathetic sycophants grasping for straws with enough knowledge to fool the masses but not the Masters.

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* Any resemblance to a person(s) living or dead is pure coincidental.

* No animals or broadcasters were used or harmed during the filming of this story.

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Habs

Jacques Martin’s system worked perfectly against the Senators , Bruins and Flyers. Like last season – the players get bored every once in a while and rebel against it. The result ? A loss to the Rangers last Saturday. Recap

The exciting Oilers are in town tonight and will give the people spending 250 bucks a bang for their buck. If Price is on the Habs have a chance – if not , lookout !

Scott Gomez is practicing with his mates . Why should all the kids fighting for a job with the Habs take a back seat to Gomez ? He is finished and should be sent away.

See what Knuckles has to say.

Habs Eye on the Prize

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by Rick Keene on November 8, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by Rick Keene on November 8, 2011

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Habs Throw Party at the Morgue


Dead bodies were piling up everywhere on the airwaves …

Jacque Martin , Pierre Gauthier , Erik Cole and Scott Gomez were sentenced to death. To be buried many places. Next to Ghadafi ; under Le Centre Bell and a burial at sea for Mr. Gauthier. When all was said and done – it was the Habs’ assistant coach , Perry Pearn , who walked the plank.

Pearn - A Pirate ?

Someone – I suppose , should pay for the Canadiens worst start on home ice in franchise history. Why Pearn and not Martin? Time will tell. One day ( presumably when George Laraque writes another book ), all information regarding the ‘ behind-the -scenes ‘ scene that took place 90 minutes before yesterday’s game will come to the forefront.

You Gotta Move Like Jagr …

Ten minutes into the game against Kate Smith’s Flyers , all indications of a Hab team playing in turmoil seemed true. The Pronger-less Flyers appeared like Men to the impish ‘mice ‘ in the Canadiens line-up. The Habs chased the Flyers in their own zone, in neutral territory and in the other end of the ice. Philadelphia were vultures and Les Habitants a wounded animal – laying on a desert landscape . The Flyers and the Habs knew it was a matter of time before the end was near. The Canadiens were the keystone cops and the entire game would be written in the Daily Bugle.

Jaromir Jagr – fresh from Siberia ( literally ), took a beautiful pass from Carle at 10:43 of the first period and buried the puck past Carey Price. Jagr gave his trademark salute and all indications pointed towards the floodgates being opened . Another loss seemed imminent for the Habs and their net minder. Price would have to wait to reach his 100th win in the NHL. Another salute seemed real. Then , something funny happened away from the Forum …

Philadelphia did not want to win. They displayed their indifference by hitting not one – two goal posts before the first 20 minutes were up. Simmons’ chance the most apparent as he had time and space to put an easy goal past Price. The Flyers soon learned that if you play with fire – you will burn your chances. With three seconds left in the initial frame and Montreal on a power play – Yannick Weber blasted a shot from the point and in a wink of Patrick Roy’s eye , the score was tied heading to the middle period.

Maybe there is something in the Habs’ water bottles ? Perhaps being tied with a good team on the tails of a losing skid lit the team’s spirits …? Whatever the recipe – Martin must bottle it and feed it intravenously to his players every night.

The Habs came out like their Flyin’ French predecessors. Despite messing up on a 3 on 1 that came across as a bad Marx Brothers skit ( and in turn – making Cammalleri appear selfish ), Montreal kept coming. Since the start of the season – the Habs have not been lucky. Pucks have not bounced their way and the injury bug has taken it’s toll. Last night – the ghosts of the club’s past were on hand to lend a stick.

Andrei Kostistyn started the party mid-way through the period. A scramble around Philly’s net ended with the puck flying in various directions. Thankfully for Andrei and the Habs – the final direction was the back of the net as the disc bounced off the Belarusian’s leg. Max Pacioretty ( a game time decision due to pulled ligaments in his wrist), proved that after suffering a broken vertebrae last season – nothing will stop him now. He received the gift of the night when his teammate , Josh Gorges fired a shot at the Flyers’ net minder Bryzgalov . The puck went off his pads and landed directly on Max’s stick. An easy goal for number 67 and in the space of two minutes , it was 3-1 for a Canadien team looking for only it’s second win in eight games.

Nervous Nellies

If a fan at home , a fan at the game , Jacques Martin or any of his players said they were not nervous heading into the final segment – they would all be liars. A 3- 1 lead for a team that three times let the Toronto Maple Leafs catch-up is minimal against a much better Flyer squad. If the Habs were to win – they needed their veterans and Carey Price to step -up.

Erik Cole played the best game of his Canadien career last night. He demonstrated speed , skill and determination on every shift. He bullied his way to

Pronger - hit in face !

scoring chances for himself and teammates. Price – who has struggled at times so far , also played complete for sixty minutes. By far – his best outing this season. Together along with another goal from Max ‘ Patches ‘ Pacioretty and Mike Cammalleri – the Montreal Canadiens made a victory seem easy against a bigger and stronger Philadelphia team.

On occasion, with backs to the wall – a person or a team can reach deep within and come out on top. It does not mean the Canadiens are out of the woods. Their defencemen are having a hard time with the transition game. The forwards are as inconsistent as Marlon Brando was in choosing his movie roles. Last night proved part luck , part character and part chance. Chance in the fact they did not have to put up with Chris Pronger. A player that instills fear in his own zone. A player with a mean streak.

A player that can pile dead bodies very high …

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Please see what Knuckles has to say about the game ! He also has a great story about a dog .

Habs are in Beantown tonight. It will be the first game that Pacioretty faces the criminal Chara. Both squads are not playing well with Boston being slightly above in the standings. Still – it is Montreal – Boston !!!!!

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by Rick Keene on October 27, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by Rick Keene on October 27, 2011

http://laforumdemontreal.wordpress.com/2011/10/27/habs-throw-party-at-the-morgue/

Can’ t Anyone Coach This Game ?


Where is my Pee – Wee coach when I need him … ?

Pee - Wee Hockey

It makes no sense to me that teams that are worth millions of dollars and  employ hundreds of scouts – cannot get this goalie idea down pat. First there were the Flyers , bless their Pelle Lindbergh hearts …

They built a squad that had everything a Stanley Cup contender could have ; big forwards , big defence and talent to boot. Instead of looking back and checking their rear view mirrors and ensuring their trunks were closed , they carried forward and assumed that Bobrovsky held the metal door closed tightly.The team sped down the hockey highway and after reaching mile number 70 – the trunk , along with their rookie goalie , commenced bobbing and weaving a little too much.

Did the team stop , pull over and tighten the screws ? Did they give the young stopper a good talking to and boast his moral ? Probably not. Instead , as the season closed and the team sagged into the playoff wars – a never ending trilogy of padded ones entered the mix and one by one , game by game – the Flyers disintegrated to the golf course.

If the team had of stuck with Bobrovski , through thick and thin , it would have at the very least , given the team stability. Forwards and defencemen alike enjoy peeking backwards and witnessing the same masked character night after night. In the ever – changing game of hockey , sometimes things do not go a team’s way. Pucks hit refs, rebound off of posts and often – all a player can do is attempt to gain control in any way possible.The last thing a player needs is to see his team’s final stronghold as a revolving door. It is not much different than a family man becoming distracted at work because his wife is fooling around or one of his kids is experiencing drug problems.It is hard to concentrate on cutting the lawn if the living room is on fire.

The Tampa Bay Lightning are doing the same thing.

Dude ...? Whatcha doin' ?

They are more talented than the Boston Bruins. They have more experience winning Stanley Cups and they have more experience in general than the Lucic – led goons of Beantown. Why on earth would head coach Boucher commence tinkering with his goalie at this time of the season ? Dwayne Roloson had a bad game and a half. So what. Everyone has a bad day at the office now and again. By removing Roloson and putting Smith into the fray , Boucher has offset the machine that at one point was on an eight game winning streak. A sequence that would not have happened without Tampa’s best move at the trading deadline – the acquisition of Rolson.

Tampa had the momentum. They were speeding down the highway at full speed after game four. They passed the Flyers a while back , waving at the young Bobvrosky as he sat on the side of the road with a compass pointing towards the AHL. Although Roloson will not be heading to the minors anytime soon – it is not a good idea to leave him for a minute with the Flyers’ netminder.

Roloson should be sitting on top of the trunk of the Lightning’s Stanley Cup vehicle. Some clothes, tools or perhaps the family pet will be bounced onto the pavement along the way . Noone said the trip to the finals and a championship would be easy.

My Pee -Wee coach is still looking for his glasses that fell out years ago. That is why he keeps his championship trophies close by …

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by Rick Keene on May 24, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by Rick Keene on May 24, 2011

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Bruins Win Series in Four Games … Priceless !


A Hab fan can disguise things all they want .

” We competed ” They will say with partial truth planted firmly between cheek and mouth protector.  ” We should have won game four . We deserved to win game five ! ” Etc … etc … In reality , not unlike the crew of Gilligan’s Island – the entire bunch would have been lost if not for courage of the fearless Carey Price .

The Savior !

The Canadiens won the first two games in Boston . On the scoreboard – yes . In the middle of the ice , in the corners and in the slot – no they did not.

Upon a return to the supposed safe confines of their own rink , the Bruins outplayed them once more . This time however , the team from Boston won on the scoreboard as well. The Habs ‘ faithful sat in disbelief as their hometown heroes squandered the lead three times. Why were the fans in disbelief ? Why did the collapse surprise everyone except for Guy Lafleur who once accurately surmised that a team cannot win Stanley Cups with four fourth lines .

Oh No - Not again ...!?

They ( the fans ) witnessed the scenario all season long . The series against their long time rivals was an encore to a concert that was already too long. Les Habitants could not seal the deal all season when they were in charge on the scoreboard and in momentum. Why should things change in the playoffs ?

Game Six – A Turning Point

In a must – win situation in game six , the Habs came out and took the play to the Bruins in the first five minutes of the opening period. Sure – the referee took away a goal with incompetence . It did not stop the Habs from playing inspiring hockey and it led to a 1 – 0 lead scored on a 5 – 3 advantage. Although they scored to send the crowd into a frenzy – it was during that powerplay opportunity when Montreal displayed all that ails them and gave Boston more hope to carry on than Terry Fox did for millions.

Les Canadiens – the former Frenchmen of the Flying variety ,

Where 's Bob Gainey when you need him ...?

appeared more like Beavers than Eagles. Brian Gionta ‘s goal was only the second quality scoring chance the team held while up by two men and if the captain had not tallied – the period would have ended deadlocked at zero. When Seidenberg beat Price early in the second period – the Bruins once more erased the momentum that sat alongside M. Beliveau in the ‘ not so cheap seats ‘.

Swinging the enthusiasm away from the home crowd was something that the Bruins did every game in the post season away from home. What happened to the mystique of the Montreal Canadiens nest ? Perhaps a renaming of Le Centre Bell to Le Forum de Bell may appease the ghosts and evoke more appearances in the future.

Dahlin - Like a ghost ?

Once the ghosts finally came out of their cobwebbed locker room – the current day players did not appreciate their ghoulish selflessness . Another five on three powerplay led to another Montreal goal yet the production on the combined pair of ten – on – sixes was enough to make the forever pale Kjell Dahlin blush a lovely shade of bleu , blanc et ROUGE . Eight shots was the grand total of the two two – man advantages in a game that meant not only survival for the Habs bunch – it was also a missed opportunity to blow the doors off the good ship Bruin.

Anyone supporting the Black and Gold colors of Terry O ‘ Reilly ‘s cousins , would be quick to point out that the Bruins were down 2- 1 halfway through a game when they should have been out a full royal flush and dialing room service for their post – game meals. The Bostonian bunch played to the end and if Carey Price wasn ‘ t Bob Gainey’s love child – the Habs would have made it much easier on their travel agent , wives and girlfriends ( or both ) .

No Fear

Don ' t you know who I am .... ?

A team must instill fear into an opponent to gain the upper glove. The Habs placed that fear into the Caps and Penguins last year. The pair of Eastern Division rivals started to panic as their respective series went the distance . The teams did not know what exactly they were fearing , yet fear they did . By the time game seven arrived – the league’s trio of stars ( Ovechkin , Crosby and Malkin ) were so frustrated , they did not know up from Gord Down - ey. The difference between this season and last , the Habs never had those two teams in a position to knock them down. If they did – the Habs followed their performances by a lacklustre effort by their former hero – Jaroslav Halak.

Halak gave his opponents reasons to think he was human where

Not Invincible ...

Price gave only signs that he was the sole piece of the puzzle in beating the Habs. Washington and Pittsburgh chased Halak while the Bruins never came close to removing Price from between the pipes . It was the Habs ‘ forwards that gave Boston enough evidence that three goals against Montreal was sufficient enough to win a game. The Habs ‘ forwards gave the Bruins hope no matter what the score was and this matter must be fixed before Les Canadiens will ever lift Stanley Cup banner number twenty – five to the rafters.

The Future ?

Brian Gionta , Tomas Plekanec , Max Pacioretty , Mathieu Darche and Mike Cammalleri aside – the Habs ‘ forwards are as consistent as an O. J . Simpson killer – search.

Gomez - ' Hair ' today ...gone tomorrow !

Scott Gomez ‘ career is over . Period. No matter where the dude plays , his skates are speaking volumes when he strides around and around and around …  Guy Lafleur starting playing the same as Gomez when his confidence disappeared the season before he retired from the Habs. Guy previous and Scott now – both stick to the perimeters and avoid any attempt to beat a defenceman up the middle one on on. Around the boards they circle and either attempt a blind pass to the slot or shoot from afar. Confidence is more important to an athlete than any stick or piece of equipment that a sporting goods salesman can ever give away. Gomez can only hope that a sequel is in the works for a Mystery , Alaska  - 2 .

Benoit Pouliot

If O. J needed someone to help him find Nicole Simpson ‘ s killer or to retrieve his stolen memorabilia – Pouliot would not have been a good choice. Benoit has been searching for the back of the net the majority of the season and his talent for doing so reaches it ‘s pinnacle at the worst possible moment. Two years as a Hab and two years of playoff futility. Pierre Gauthier made his best move as G. M when he inked Pouliot to a one year deal. Thanks for comin’ out Benoit …!

Andrei Kostisyn

The Belarusian is like a girlfriend that is good in bed but drinks too

Kostisyn - Drunk ...?

much in public. Habs ‘ management must weigh both the good and the bad and decide which is better for their long term happiness. Thankfully , there are enough G. M ‘ s around the league who are ‘ not getting any ‘ and Gauthier should be able to exchange ‘ lust ‘ for ‘ passion ‘ .

Jeff Halpern

A good soldier . Came in and did what was expected of him . Killed penalties , won face-offs and added maturity in the dressing room. Unfortunately – the player that he replaced , Dominic Moore , was a little better in all areas and Jeff lacked the ‘ drive ‘ of Moore. Bad move by Gauthier but not Halpern ‘s fault.

Travis Moen

Here a Duck , there a Duck - everywhere a Duck , Duck ...

The former Stanley Cup champion Duck was brought to Montteal to add grit and the occasional goal. In 2009 – 10 , that move appeared to be a flash of brilliance . This past season was the exact opposite as Moen seemed to have been bitten by the same bug as Gomez. What exactly did Moen do ? Noone is certain . He was not bad defensively yet was no where to be seen on too many occasions when the Habs’ Smurfs were being pushed around. Please – keep him away from Laraque ! For the sake of the man ‘s diminishing career !

Captain Future

If Gauthier can replace these players with bigger and more consistent ones – the Montreal Canadiens will be a very strong force in the future . They have a solid defence if they hold onto the ‘ Wiz ‘ , Sopel , Gill , Hamrlik and Markov. Add the future captain – Subban and Gorges to the mix , a seven man tandem of talent , experience and youth is what you have in front of a young goaltender that will make everyone forget about Patrick Roy’ s exploits.

The Big Question

If the Habs had remained healthy all season , it would be much easier to judge coach Martin.

  • Did Lars Eller play well or – given the opportunity granted by a more offensive coach , would Eller have shone like he did against the Bruins ?
  • Is Sergei Kostisyn ‘s success in Nashville a reflection of Martin ‘ s inablity to allow offensive players to be offensive ?
  • Are Andrei Kostisyn , Cammalleri and Gionta hindered by their defensive responsibilities ?
  • Are the twelve points that the team squandered during the regular season against lowly opposition a reflection of the coach’ s weakness ?
  • Did Martin do an excellent job given everything the team had to deal with ?

The answers will be not be known until the end of next season if the team stays healthy. Jacques has gained another year for keeping his team above the frozen water line. Righty or wrongly .

See Ya Next year you lucky man ....

Pierre Gauthier did a great job as G. M with the only exception being the move that he did not make. Jason Arnott would have been a great addition at the trade deadline . Imagine him on the ice instead of Pouliot , Pyatt or even Darche ? His experience along with Gionta ‘ s would have gone a long way. Who knows ? It may have woke Gomez up as well … ?

Bonne Ete les gens ! Thanks for keeping us warm on those cold winter evenings …

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by Rick Keene on April 28, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by Rick Keene on April 28, 2011

http://laforumdemontreal.wordpress.com/2011/04/28/bruins-win-series-in-four-games-priceless/

Habs 2 Kharma Bums 0


It sure sucks to be a sports fan in Beantown right about now – does it not ?

The Patriots are no longer the dominant force they once were . The Celtics have resorted to signing an over – the – hill Shaq to help dethrone the machine also known as the L. A . Lakers and the Sox are off to a dismal start in Baseball . Yaz nation is none too happy and all this is just the good news …

The Boston Bruins , the supposedly BIG BAD BRUINS , are down 2 – 0 in their opening round playoff series against their archrivals – Les Canadiens de Smurfville . It was not supposed to be this way . Say it ain ‘ t so Don Cherry … !

Julien or Julienne ?

What is the problem with these skaters from the frozen waters of the Charles River ? Is it the coach ? The same Claude Julien who seemingly self – destructs when push comes to high – sticking . Perhaps Lou Lamiorello was on to something when he deemed the then Julien coached Devils ‘ not playoff ready ‘ as he fired the kindly coach moments before the road to the Cup began. Bob Gainey may have sent a memo to his pal Lou as the former Montreal G. M . did the same when Julien coached the pre – Smurf Habs . Gainey did not feel that his squad was in post – season mode as well. Say it ain’ t so Claude …!

Given the fact that Julien appears as a character out of Muppet Land or the distant cousin  of Sesame Streets ‘ Snuffulufagous , he is not the reason ( this time ) that his team is deeper in doggy – doo than Don Cherry ‘ s beloved dog Blue ever was !

The ‘ Kharma ‘ Bums

Les Bruins de Boston have skinny – dipped once too often in the shallow end of the kharma pool this season and the hockey gods are not very pleased .

Where shall we commence ?

If Zdeno Chara had admitted that he purposely gave Pacioretty a shove from behind in retribution for Max ‘s shove to his backside in a previous ill- advised incident , all would have been forgotten by the spectres of the two -line pass. The NHL would have suspended Chara and then the Habs , their fans and the ghouls of La Gauchetiere would have gone to bed as happy campers and dreamt of Stanley Cups past. Instead – Monsieur Chara , he of skates sized thirty , denied even knowing it was Pacioretty thus beginning a chain of events leading to the Bruins being on the brink of an early golfing date .

The eyes from above opened a little wider when , Colin Campbell was not allowed to fumble his way to a decision on Chara ‘s fate. His son – Gregory ,  was a partner in crime to Zdeno and his wicked ways as a teammate for the Stanley – droughted Boston club. Before the Rocket could translate ‘ conflict of interest ‘ to his native tongue and contemporaries , Chara was tried and unconvicted by Mike Murphy – Campbell’s right handed slave .

Once the shock of the non – Chara suspension wore off , it was now Mark Recchi ‘s turn to tempt the Gods.

Dr. Recchi

Recchi decided that being a former Penguin , Flyer , Hurricane and Hab gave him the necessary credentials to practice medecine . In a world where doctors normally leave Quebec for the ‘ greener ‘pastures of the United States , Recchi apparently took it upon himself to fill the void . ‘ Docteur Marc ‘ advised the hockey world that the Habs’ medical staff concoted Pacioretty’s injury in order to evict a guilty verdict from Bettman ‘s boys . Recchi now owes a thank you note to Boom – Boom for stopping John Ferguson from jumping the ‘penalty box in the sky’ and beating the Bruin silly. Strike two on Harry Sinden ‘s old club !

The Boston Bruins must have thought that clinching the Northeast division and beating the Habs 7 -0 along the way , exempted them from any retribution by the hockey Gods. Unfortunately , the team , or more specifically , Brad Marchand did not recieve the menacing post – it note from above stating the punishment begins in the playoffs. During the final meeting of the season between the Leafs and his team , Marchand tempted the Gods once more. He skated in front of the Toronto bench and in a move that made Tiger Woods envious – used his hockey stick as a golf club. The motion that soon followed is not very indicitive of a Stanley Cup run so the Leafs and ( sigh ) the hockey Gods were angered once more by the BIG BAD something – er – others …

In hockey as in baseball – a third strike means you are out unless the catcher drops the ball and tosses it to first base. Boston not only swung and missed with Marchand’s actions – they fell a good three feet before they entered the batter’s box .

Down and Out or Payback 101 ?

The Bruins are well on their way to losing their 25th playoff series in their 33th attempt against the Habs . The ghosts of hockey and Montreal have sent them back to the frenzied home of Les Canadiens down 2 – 0. Zdeno Chara missed the last game with a case of dehydration – guilt will do that to a man.

Carey Price has become Ken Dryden of 2011 and the Bruins , a well oiled machine during the regular season , now lack the punch of a steroid -less Barry Bonds. Lucic is playing like the current day Cam Neely and Tim Thomas is playing like Tim Thomas of last season.

Babe Ruth might be in this as well . Since the RedSox have won a couple of World Series titles – the poor guy has nothing to do. In lieu of moving his family to Beverly ( Hills , that is ) , it is easier to stay in the same town and haunt another franchise.

All Boston sports franchises are either ailing or up against foes real and imagined . There is no medicine to fix what ails the Bruins .

Unless Doctor Mark Recchi knows …

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by Rick Keene on April 18, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by Rick Keene on April 18, 2011

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Green Giant Beats Up On Little Sprout


WARNING ! DO NOT LET YOUR KIDS WATCH THE REMAINDER OF THE HABS – BRUINS SERIES !

Unless , as parents , you and the spouse have reared them to be fans of UFC , racism and Michael Vick . Then , by all means – sit them down , plant a Bruin jersey with the name Chara on their youthful torsos and watch in amazement as they grow into fine young criminals.

Chara - Plekanec before the Game

Zdeno Chara is 6 ‘ 9 ” soaken – wet. Tomas Plekanec is a generous 5′ 9″ when wearing the proper footware. Apples and Oranges . Basketball player vs. horse jockey .

Any self – respecting man ( in the real world ) , would never –  in a million years , attack another male who is a foot smaller than he. Unless the giant in question is defending his family , the family dog or the family jewels. As the Boston Bruins hosted the Montreal Canadiens last night in game 1 of their playoff series – Bruin captain Chara demonstrated his ability to be a coward and a man who skates the fine line between aggression and the behaviour of a pychopath.

Chara , the Pacioretty incident aside , has always possessed that trait . If Zdeno gets mad during a game , the colour of the goal line is not the only red that he sees as he peers over the heads of his opponents. Presumably – as his blood boils , his size interrupts the natural progression of the anger within. A player of normal stature would get mad every two games . Given Chara ‘ s physical stature , it takes roughly twenty games for the anger to make it ‘ s way from skate to helmet and beware the player that is within the six mile radius of his wing span when it happens.

Last night it was Plekanec .

A True Captain

Unless the Habs ‘ center uttered something along the lines of ‘ Hey Chara ! Your wife ‘ s a dyke ‘ or ‘ Hey Chara ! Your wife is into bestiality with the female family dog ‘ , there lies no apparent evidence for Chara’ s elbow to the head of the Canadiens ‘ diminutive Czech . Perhaps Chara had seen plenty after Plekanec ‘ s teammate Gionta netted the game ‘ s only two goals and Jean Beliveau’s predecessor was well on his way to demonstrating how a real captain should lead.

Whatever it was that pushed Chara from sanity into the mind of Hannibal Lecter – it was no excuse for the Bruins ‘ player with the letter ‘ C ‘ on his mammoth chest to imitate his favourite UFC fighter. Chara elbowed ‘ Pleks ‘ to the head , held him down on the ice for several moments and then punched him , again in the head ,  a couple of times for good measure. To make it more embarrassing for the NHL than having Sean Avery evaluate players ‘ ex – girlfriends , Chara was assessed a two minute penalty for roughing …

Roughing ? What about elbowing , holding and roughing ? What happened to the league coming down hard on headshots ? Should Chara have not been giving a least a five minute major penalty for something ? Attempt to injure ? Ten minutes for beating up a smurf ? Is there no rule against that in Bettman ‘s bible ? There should be rules governing the well being of Smurfs – Mr . Bettman is one himself after all …

Habs Stick to Plan

The Montreal Canadiens frustrated the Capitals and the Penguins last year. Imagine how Ovechkin and company felt when –  game after game , the Habs climbed into their defensive stationwagon and played the same Eight Track tape night after night.

The Bruins started to get that idea in last night’ s game .

Pressure ? What pressure ?

Montreal appears to have the same philosophy that allowed them to skate into the third round against the Flyers last season. They sit back and allow the opposition to come in waves and shoot many pucks their goaltender ‘s way . Last year Halak was the beneficiary of  his team ‘s gifts . This year it is Carey Price ‘s turn to shine under the watchful eye of coach Martin ‘ s defensive system.

When Price was drafted , way back in 2005 , Bob Gainey and Trevor Timmins were  ’ high as kites in a Cheech and Chong movie ‘ as they appraised their young prospect. Aside from his hockey ability , the Habs brass informed us that the young Carey was made of concrete in the nerve department. In other words – nothing fazed the kid from British Columbia. Sometimes it seems – Canadiens’ management is right.

Price started the season with more pressure to explode than a home made volcano primed with baking soda. It appears that Mr. Price has had no problem with replacing the popular Halak and has returned to his pre – NHL form. Facing the Bruins in the playoffs ? No problem ! Correct Carey ? Man of steel nerves …

The Bruins are in trouble .Their foes are much greater than Gionta, Price and Subban. Their enemy is bigger than their captain on a soapbox. If the team from Beantown wants to win this series and continue down the route to Lord Stanley ‘s garage , they must overcome themselves and defeat their demons.

The history of the Canadiens rivalry  is against them . Recent NHL playoff history is against them and their own insecurities are against them. They need to remember who they are and not who they want to be. Once they were up 3 – 0 in game seven against the Flyers last season , they started playing as Stanley Cup finalists . Problem was , they were in the second round . Boston cannot believe the press  stating they are favourites against the Habs . They must play like who they are – a team that won only twice against the Habs all season. They are the underdogs and they must play like it.

Only then will they have a chance to match Washington and Pittsburgh when they hit the golf course and ask themselves ….

” What the f*** just happened ? Didn ‘ t we outshoot them every game ? “

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by Rick Keene on April 15, 2011  •  Permalink
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Top Ten Signs Spring Has Arrived in Montreal


The sun is out , the birds are chirping and the sweet scent of dog poop is filling the air. That can only mean one thing …

Spring has arrived .

In case there are those who are in doubt , La Forum de Montreal has sent a reporter to uncover many more signs that spring has indeed arrived in our fair city.

Without further ado …

The Top Ten Signs Spring Has Arrived in Montreal

10. Extra city workers hired to sweep the ‘ usual route ‘ ..

9.  Glare from Stanley Cup rings more prominent in mid – day sun.

8.  Guy Lafleur a little more giddy than usual.

7. Tears from the city of Toronto like a fine mist if the wind blows eastwardly.

6.  Extra riot gear ordered by Montreal police !

5.  Ken Dryden heard singing ‘ six Cups in eight years ‘ over and over again.

4.  Chris Nilan becomes very agitated .

3. Patrick Roy starts ‘ winking ‘ at everyone !

2. Jean Beliveau , Yvon Cournoyer and Henri Richard compare their thirty – one rings !

and the Number One sign that Spring has arrived …

1. The Boston Bruins start booking tee times at their local golf course !

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by Rick Keene on April 12, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by Rick Keene on April 12, 2011

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Habs ( Ghosts ) Will Prevail …


Thirty – two times the Habs and the Bruins have met in the post – season . The Habs have won seven Stanley Cups against their rivals . Does anything else matter … ?

Thirty - three and counting ...

Sure the Habs lost 7 – 0 the final time the two teams met in Boston . Sure the Bruins have won two of last three games , outscoring Montreal 15 – 6 in the process . Lest we forget – sandwiched between the pair of Montreal losses was a very convincing 4 – 1 victory in a game that featured the infamous ‘ Chara ‘ incident. Pacioretty was injured in that game after being pushed into the partition by a Chara glove . The incident was deemed a ‘hockey play ‘ by the Three Stooges – aka Gary Bettman , Colin Campbell and Mike Murphy . Chara was not suspended and the Habs did not exact revenge for that hit in the following match . Or did they … ?

Let ‘s look at the facts.

Beatdown ?

In the 8 – 6 loss to the Bruins at the T. D rink ,  the Habs were with the Bruins all the way . What the game came down to was a 2 – 0 loss . This outcome is not something to be ashamed of even if is against the Florida Panthers. That game has been labelled the ‘ beatdown in Beantown ‘ given the amount of penalties and fights that took place . So the Bruins ‘ tough guys outnumber the Habs tough guys . Will that win them a first round series or even a Stanley Cup ? No sir . Not unless your goalie is named Bernie Parent and your leader has a toothless grin . So forget about that game as a point of intimidation for the Bruins .

Next , or suivant as they say in a hot dog line at Le Centre Bell  - is the 7 – 0 loss at the pretend Gah – den.

A Beautiful Rivalry

The first three goals in the game , all Bruins , were fluke . If you looked up the word ‘ oops ‘ in the hockey dictionary – a photo of Carey Price ‘ s ‘ low – lite ‘ reel would surely rise up on your Iphone. The puck deflected off skates , sticks and defencemen . The rubber disc deflected more often than a Barry Bonds response in a perjury trial and it left the Habs down 3 – 0 before a frenchman could pronounce Doug Wickenheiser. The Habs rallied at the beginning of the second period yet the fourth Bruin tally pretty much left them dead on the frozen water. The Canadiens essentially threw in their car flags and the game was over before the third period got underway. Erase those three bouncing goals and the outcome would be akin to Pee Wee Herman erasing his visit to a Porn Theater . Same game , same characters yet a entirely different outcome…

Bostononians on Mushrooms ?

It is entirely possible that the Boston team and their disciples do not view the games in the same light . That is where the Montreal Canadiens have exacted revenge . Call it smoke and mirrors , name it after Muhammed Ali ‘ s famous rope – a – dope . Whatever the label – it is what it is … A false sense of security in the most timely of moments for the fabled Montreal Canadiens.

The series will be starting in Boston . The scene of the caper .

Speed Kills

The home team and it ‘s goons ….er fans , will come out with more hunger than a lion after a long nap . They know they can bang around the much smaller Habs. They are aware that if they can upset a team that took more minor penalties in the regular season than they did – it will allow them an opportunity to fire many shots at the Habs ‘ young netminder. More shots equals more goals and will give them that extra skater known as momentum. This is where the Habs must weather the storm and allow themselves to be pushed around for the first ten minutes of the game . Once the Bruins initial attack has been subdued and the boys from beantown are looking for a Red Sox boxscore – the Habs must then utilize the one weapon that the Bruins do not have . .. Speed.

Once the non – Francophone frenchmen start flyin ‘ , it will be the Bruins who will start to get frustrated and allow the Habs to sign momentum on their team. Chara has shown in the past , Pacioretty incident aside , that he skates a fine line between passion and aggression . Milan Lucic , the Cam Neely of 2010 -11 , has also shown that he can be knocked off his game as a Hab killer quite easily . If the Martin – led Montreal team maintains discipline and sicks Ryan White onto Lucic , a 2 – 0 series lead heading back to the home of twenty – four Stanley Cups is not as crazy as it sounds.

The key to victory , for both teams , is not unlike any other of Bettman ‘ s cap – induced squads . If Carey Price or Tim Thomas falter , then any game plan by Martin or Julien is out of the window and the outcome will be blowing in the Massachusets and Quebec winds. Price has some pressure on his shoulder pads given the recent history and his weak performance in the past playoff games against Boston.

What was it that Price said when the fans were all over him in the pre – season after a terrible outing ? ” Chill – ax ….? “

Yes Montreal fans – that ‘s what it was .

Habs in five !

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by Rick Keene on April 11, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by Rick Keene on April 11, 2011

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